Two men dressed as Oompa-Loompas – characters from Willie Wonka and the Chocolate Factory – are being sought by police in Norwich after an attack in the heart of the city.
Look, I know that folk from East Anglia – where I come from – are used to being abused for being “in-bred” or having “webbed feet” and other silly nonsense, but to be accused of trying to commit crimes while dressed as Willy Wonka’s employees is a bit much. (Just in case anyone wonders, I am not making light of what might be a serious crime.)
Mind you, Norwich did used to have several chocolate factories. Oh well, it makes a change from reading about the US “fiscal cliff”. I promise to be a bit more productive on this site than I have been in recent months. 2012 was effing busy.
Oompa-Loompa-Doompa-Dee-Doo
I’ve got some ways to avoid prison for you
Oompa-Loompa-Doopa-Dee-Dank
Dress like us when robbing a bank
What do you get with your face on the cam?
Eight to ten in gen-pop in slam.
What made you think you could outrun the Cop on the beat?
Now your prison-name is Sugar because your ass… is… so… sweet!
You thought that you could beat the heat!
Oompa-Loompa-Doompa-Dee-Dass
Wear a disguise and you’ll get a pass!
Eyewitnesses are accussed of drinking when they say they saw you
Because who’ll ever believe they saw an Oompa-Loompa-Doompa-Dee-Doo!
Doompa-Dee-Doo!
I intend to depress you further J.P.
As I am going to write about the fiscal mess.
And draw a very nasty logical conculusion.
And I mean VERY nasty – even by my normal standards.
If logic leads one to a horrific conclusion one has to check one’s assumptions (as well as one’s reasoning), and check them again and again….
But eventuaally one has to accept the logical conculsion.
I lived there for a few years. Some days the smell of chocolate would hang over the city; on others a revolting smell from the Bernard Matthews plant.