GREETINGS!
LET ME START BY INTRODUCING MYSELF PROPERLY. MY NAME IS ALI KAMAL BISHARA AND I AM A SENIOR OFFICIAL IN THE IRAQI FINANCE MINISTRY. I WAS ALSO CHIEF ADVISER TO FORMER PRESIDENT OF IRAQ, SADDAM HUSSEIN WHO IS NOW IN THE AMERICAN CAPTIVITY.
WE ARE CONTACT YOU FOR TO ESTABLISH VERY URGENTLY A BUSINESS RELATIONSHIP BUT ONLY WITH A FOREIGN PERSON OF MOST HIGH RELIABLENESS AND REPUTATION FOR WHICH INVOLVES THE TRANSFER OF A HUGE SUM OF MONEY TO A FOREIGN ACCOUNT REQUIRING MAXIMUM CONFIDENCE.
LET ME EXPLAIN: BEFORE HIS DETENTION THE PRESIDENT HUSSEIN DEPOSITED THE SUM OF $28,500,000 IN A SECRET BANK ACCOUNT IN A SAFE COUNTRY. THIS MONEY WAS OIL REVENUE WHICH I HAVE PERSONALLY CHECKED AND FOUND AS AN ACCURATE FIGURE.
NOW THE FORMER PRESIDENT HUSSEIN CAN NO LONGER ACCESS THIS MONEY WHICH IS MUCH NEEDED BY MY COUNTRY FOR DISBURSEMENT TO CHILDREN AND HOSPITALS. IF THIS MONEY IS NOT CLAIMED IT WILL BE TAKEN BY AMERICAN GOVERNMENT.
SO HUMBLY WE BEG AN HONEST AND DILIGENT PERSON TO WHO THE UNDISCLOSED BANK WILL TRANSFER THIS MONEY AS TRUSTEE. IN RETURN FOR THIS SERVICE YOU WILL KEEP 30% OF THE SUM AND REMIT TO US THE 70% REMAINING. IN ORDER THAT WE MAY COMPLETE THIS MOST SECRET TRANSACTION YOU MUST SEND TO US YOUR DETAILS BUT MOSTLY YOUR BANK ACCOUNT NUMBER AND ADDRESS SO THAT WE CAN ARRANGE THE SUBSTANTIAL MONEY TRANSFER TO YOUR BANK ACCOUNT.
YOU MUST REPLY QUICKLY WITH FULL DETAILS FOR US TO BE CONVICTED THAT YOU ARE GENUINE AND SINCERE.
YOURS MOST HUMBLY IN GOOD BUSINESS FAITH.
ALI KAMAL BISHARA.
I’m sorry Mr Bishara, but invested half of all I own with the extremely honest and reputable form of Brown & Blair. And in thanks for your exsteemed suggestion I invite you to participate in this risk-free BUSINESS proposition.
The corporation “Up UK plc” will make ALL stakeholders happy, healthy and live for ever. And UK will pay us to live all the rest of our lives without work. Ineternet and fariness makes it possible.There is need only a bit more techonolgy for listening to people.
But in order for the plan to work out it needs more investors for the new techonolgy. In only 6 years there is much done. But we need a reliable contact abroad to keep the pay-out safe. Much money has already been sent to Iraq, so I know you are a trustworthy person. A few formalities and paperwork is needed to release value of the investment, including name of overseas guarantor. If you can help me in this I will show you my gratitude by sharing 20% state pension and ALL BENEFITS.
The Bank of England will pay you dividends direct, so please send me your personal telphone number and Social Security number, so that I can arrrange for your immediate registration with this amazing firm.
Definitive proof of the Iraq-Nigeria connection at last !
Nothing new here . . .
At least 10 years ago, a similar fee scam based in Iraq was operating, using the first Gulf war as its hook. I don’t know all of the details, but it was supported by amazingly-official looking counterfeit letters of credit signed by Saddam Hussein, his own bad self. US Treasury Questioned Document Examiner Tom Hundley used to carry one of these counterfeits as a prop in his presentations. I understand that several people were actually taken by this unlikely scam.
Nothing new unser the sun . . . .
llater,
llamas
Mr Carr,
Do you have this man’s written permission to reproduce his “work of art”?
Which is one reason I think IPR is a “pain in the ass” (TM)(all rights reserved)
OK, I admit- I’m bored. Life hasn’t seemed so exciting since they captured “the hobbit”.
Estimable Mr. Bishara,
Before I can proceed with this interesting transaction I must know if it has the approval of the UN. I know that in the past the UN was a party to such transactions, but we cannot put our reputation in jeopardy, so we must insist on UN approval. I’m sure it’s just a matter of formality, you’ll get the approval in no time.
$28.5 million? What a liar. There’s waaay more than that stashed in Saddam’s account. My advice is to demand that Mr. Bishara be honest with you before you proceed with any transaction David. Also he’s offering you 30%! That’s pretty good. I’m only getting 10% from my Nigerian friends.
I have but just one question? How in Sam hell did such a seemingly bogus call for help end up on a libertarian web site? This must either be a test of our naivete, or someone is smoking way too much herb.
P.S. I have some ocean-front property in Arizona for sale to all those who are interested. :)~
Has anyone gotten the “Swiss Lottery” one yet?
I thought it was the Canadian lottery?
Ah, well, nice to know some things never change – a fool and his money….
Kirk,
Look at the category for the post…
Joe – No, but I won the Microsoft lottery. They’re going to be in touch again later to tell me how to collect my winnings.
John – 10% is definitely a rip-off. I’m getting 30 from Mariam Abacha.
Send this to Polly Toynbee; if her column in today’s Grauniad is anything to go on, she’ll have a banker’s draft to you by close of business today.
International A.N.S.W.E.R. remains resolute in its opposition to the US occupation of Iraq and continued American imperialism in the Middle East. Contributions are greatly appreciated.
Once again, people, repeat after me: irony does not mean ‘made out of iron’.
what a clanger…
Anyone read that news story about the Italian couple and the American who both visited a north Britian pharmacy? They got taken in a similar scam and thought that the pharmacy was a *bank*.
Can’t cheat an honest man. :/
You mean that “Mariam Abacha” isn’t a bona fide investment advisor?
Damn… there goes the kids’ college fund.
I don’t know, though, Kim. She certainly knows how to make money grow. She first wrote to me about a year ago, trying to get $26m out of the country. She wrote again last month and the sum of money she has to launder is now $39m. She’s offering a generous 30% for the temporary use of my bank account.
So far, she has been taken urgently to hospital and needs a $4,000 advance for treatment and prescribed drugs. Could I be kind enough to go to Western Union (do they still have them?) and wire the money urgently? She can’t get at the $39 mill because she’s under house arrest, you see.
I have been having some fun with her. She thinks I’m a ditzy millionairess. When she writes to ask why I haven’t replied, I say I had to go chair a meeting at my banana plantation in Arizona.
“…at my banana plantation in Arizona.”
Your own private banana republic! How quaint.
Dear Mr. Bishara; I like you, have a serious problem, which I would like you to help me with. The Queen of england has asked me to dispose of the crown jewels, with an estimated value of 2 billion dollars and as you have access to 28 million plus. My offer is as follows, if you can resolve the problem of accessing the 28 million, I would gladly accept it as full payment for the Queens crown jewels which I would ship to you by special truck load by sea. However I cannot guarantee their delivery unless I can find a truck that can travel under water for such a long journey. I have been told that your brother-in-law is the former President of the Central Bank of Nigeria which leads me to beleive in your sincere offer as I know how reputable that country and its administrators are. Please respond a.s.a.p. so that we may begin our business transaction. Your truly Jewel Crown
Please, anybody can explain me where is the “catch” in all those letters offering millions? I have recently got one from the Nigerian guys (kind guys by the way 🙂