We are developing the social individualist meta-context for the future. From the very serious to the extremely frivolous... lets see what is on the mind of the Samizdata people.
Samizdata, derived from Samizdat /n. - a system of clandestine publication of banned literature in the USSR [Russ.,= self-publishing house]
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Oi, Robert Fisk, John Pilger, Will Self, Clare Short, Robin Cook, Tony Benn, Margo Kingston, Michael Moore, Sean Penn, Noam Chomsky, the Dixie Chicks, Susan Sontag, Maureen Dowd, Susan Sarandon, Martin Sheen, Jacques Chirac, Gerhard Schroeder, Robin Williams, Harold Pinter, Vanessa Redgrave, Clare Short, the entire BBC and all the rest of the ‘Not In My Name’ mob, would you kindly cop an eyeful of this:
Just how many messages can be gleaned from this glorious photograph? Loads I imagine but three that readily spring to mind are the fall of a murderous thug regime, the utter contempt of its victims for the moral cripples, dunderheads and sixties re-treads that tried so hard to prevent it and, strangely no less stirring to me, the hilarious and highly appropriate public appearance of the ‘W’ word.
Seems that we did not just British soldiers to Iraq, we also sent British expletives and, to their credit, the Iraqis have wasted no time whatsoever in adopting it and employing to maximum effect. The image proves that not only have the Iraqis learned the word but they also know exactly what it means.
I like to think that we Brits have now added yet another component to the rich tapestry of Middle-Eastern culture and it reinforces my belief that the pithy, seductive quality of this word will continue to fuel its steady but relentless conquest of the Anglosphere, the Middle-East, the World and, who knows, maybe even beyond.
It is at times like this that all the speculation about possible encounters with alien species from other planets comes to mind. I am not sure that such an event will ever come to pass and I am quite positive that I will no longer be around to witness it even if it does. But I am willing to bet green money in the here and now that, within weeks of that first, portentious, epoch-making encounter, said aliens will be calling each other ‘wanker’.
Another important advance was made today in the War Against Terror:
Three men have been found guilty of masterminding a dissident republican bombing campaign in England two years ago which injured several people and caused millions of pounds worth of damage.
Guilty as charged! Whatever the length of their sentence it will not be long enough. Throw them to the dogs, I say. We must give no quarter when dealing with these murderous terrorist scumbags.
Among the targets were the BBC Television Centre in White City, west London.
On the other hand, we should never lose sight of the fact that among the most important characteristics of our civilisation is the quality of mercy and the capacity to forgive.
Allied claims of the fall of Basra and reports of American tanks in the centre of Baghdad were robustly denied this evening by Iraqi Information Minister Mohammed al-Sahhaf.
Attending a press conference before by a rapidly dwindling troupe of Western journalists, Minister al-Sahhaf took the podium to address his audience beneath a solitary, naked lightbulb. In the distance, the crump of tanks shells could be heard.
Despite the gloom, the Minister could be seen standing in front of a map of the world carefully arranging a sheaf of papers that he claimed were messages being relayed from the front lines by Iraq soldiers.
“The so-called Coalition forces have been completely routed by the Iraqi Armed Forces. There is not a single British or American soldier on Iraqi soil”
Pausing only to wipe away the plasterdust that was settling on his head from the cracked ceiling above, the Minister continued:
“In accordance with the brilliant strategy devised by our beloved leader Saddam Hussein, our glorious soldiers have launched their successful counterattack which is destined to end in a great victory for our side. Already the cities of London and Sydney have been laid waste by the bold actions of our heroic and fearless fedayeen”.
Just at that moment, the building was shaken by a heavy rumble coming from outside.
“It is nothing, it is nothing”.said the Minister “Just a thunderstorm”.
Unphased by the interruption, the Minister continued with his address:
“Advance units of our elite Republican Guard have also surrounded the American capital city of Washington and, in the next few hours, they will begin their final push to capture the Whitehouse.”
As he finished his final sentence, a nearby explosion shattered the windows and blew out the single overhead lightbulb, plunging the room into darkness. There was a pregnant silence suddenly broken by the clatter of a chair as the BBC Correspondent leapt to his feet to applaud enthusiastically and shout “Bravo, bravo. More. Bravo!!”.
Determined to prove that there is a bureaucratic solution to every problem, the European Commission has announced plans to set up a European Centre for disease control:
The European Commission is set, by the end of May, to propose that a European centre for disease prevention and control be set up.
The news comes as several parts of the world succumb to new cases of SARS (severe acute respiratory syndrome) the flu-like virus which attacks the young, old, healthy and unhealthy alike – and has caused several deaths.
Cunning and astute as ever, the Commissioners already have a plan to prevent the spread of SARS in Europe. According to Dutch Health Commissioner Willy Van Der Pimp:
“No further cases of SARS will be allowed into the European Union as this disease does not conform to European safety standards”.
However French Commissioner Bertrand Maginot was even more forthcoming:
“We must abandon the idea that disease can be beaten by medical science. This is simplistic and dangerous and will only be the cause of more disease. Epidemics can only be prevented by negotiating with the various diseases as part of the political process.”
The Commissioners are in the process of forming a sub-committee to look into the ‘root causes’ of disease.
Anti-American hatred may be sweeping round the ‘European Street’ more quickly than the Black Death, but the political elites may be secretly grateful to the Great Satan for handing them an opportunity to wriggle off the hook:
German Chancellor Gerhard Schroeder has blamed the Iraq war for crushing global economic growth, as the European Commission prepares to cut its growth forecasts on Tuesday.
“It can already be seen that the war in Iraq has increased the economic uncertainties worldwide, and some of the hopes for economic growth have been impaired, if not entirely destroyed,” Mr Schroeder said in a speech on Sunday night.
And, with a single bound, Gerhard Schroeder was free!! See it isn’t exsanguinating taxes, rigid labour laws, a bloated public sector and a monstrously over-regulated economy that is causing all the problems, it’s those perfidious Yankees and their imperialist war for oil.
Do not underestimate the number of people who will fall for this because they want to fall for it. Remember that Schroeder is the leader who only got re-elected by shamelessly exploiting anti-American sentiment in Germany and I will not at all surprised to see him successfully spin this out until at least the next election.
Meanwhile, our own Chancellor Gordon Brown is due to announce his annual budget on Wednesday following a year of massive tax increases and looming redundancies. He is under pressure for sure but now he has a golden bridge. I can see it now, Gordon will shrug his meaty shoulders, sigh and assure the public that ‘if it had not been for the war…..’.
If Mark Steyn is to be believed that we are rapidly approaching endgame as far as the invasion of Iraq is concerned. And, barring unforseen disasters, it does seem as if Baghdad will be in Allied hands within the next few days.
But then we must turn our minds to the long-term consequences. No, I am not talking about the reconstruction of Iraq and the democratisation of the region. That’s all far too prosaic. No, I am talking about the movie rights to ‘Gulf War II’. Surely Hollywood will be unable to resist dramatising these world-shaking events. After all, this was not just a little local difficulty, this was epic reality. We’re talking summer blockbuster here!
And it isn’t as if they are going to have to hire a whole team of scriptwriters either. This story practically writes itself, though, there would have to be some artistic licence employed to herald in a few changes required by Hollywood sensibilities.
First of all, the current US administration just have to go. There is no way any Hollywood director could portray Bush, Cheney, Rumsfeld, Rice et al with even a hint of sympathy. So they will just all have to be airbrushed out and the team from The West Wing drafted in.
The movie opens with President Bartlett deeply troubled by all this talk of war. All he wants to do is quietly get on with the business of extending emission controls and increasing pension benefits for social workers but he simply cannot ignore the growing chorus of extreme right-wing talk radio hosts calling for an invasion of Iraq.
In his desperation, he turns to the only man he can trust for counsel and advice. That man is the French President (Roberto Benigni) whom President Bartlett knows to be a man of boundless integrity, profound humanity, great learning and foresight. The French President urges Bartlett to be strong in the face of war pressure and embrace European wisdom and humility.
Bartlett knows that the French President is the voice of sanity. He wants to negotiate a peaceful solution and let the UN deal with terrorist-sponsoring states but he keeps getting outmanoeuvred by the ‘war-hawks’ in the Pentagon (led by Tommy Lee Jones) who, in turn, are sponsored by a shadowy cabal of ruthless oil barons (personified by Anthony Hopkins). → Continue reading: Gulf War II: The Movie
I do believe that we may be witnessing the final days of Cuba’s squalid communist regime:
The first wave of dissidents rounded up in a nationwide crackdown went on trial Thursday as Fidel Castro’s government moved to wipe out growing opposition. Prosecutors sought life sentences for 12 of the 80 defendants.
“While the rest of the hemisphere has moved toward greater freedom, the anachronistic Cuban government appears to be retreating into Stalinism,” department spokesman Philip Reeker said in Washington.
When governments start incarcerating their political opponents for life, it is because they are frightened and deeply worried and usually with good reason. I suspect the game is nearly up.
And, just as an aside, doesn’t this show up the juvenile, publicity-seeking, egocentrism of the ‘Bush is Hitler’ mob in sharp relief? While genuine freedom fighters risk their very lives by taking on ‘Il Presidente’, the likes of Michael Moore can pose as ‘oppressed heroic victims’ while being chauffeured around to their various awards ceremonies and public speaking engagements.
Forgive this interruption to your scheduled programme of dark forebodings, war worries, terrorist threats, police state and impending civilisational collapse but I am taking a short break in order to bring you some good news.
It would appear that the political landscape of Britain is not quite as barren as I had hitherto imagined it to be. Indeed, little oases of life-giving sanity are starting to spring up amidst the arid desert of top-down, tax-and-spend socialism.
Case in point being Reform Britain, a campaign group consisting of loads of big-brained luminaries who describe themselves thus:
Reform is an independent campaign to promote new directions for public policy based on the principles of free enterprise, limited government, and individual liberty.
As I reflect upon the lowly and squalid state of public debate in this country over the last few years, the above words wash over me with all the fragrant and orgasmic tingle of a cool spring zephyr.
And, as if that was not enough, these wonderful people have launched a related website called ‘Down the Drain’, a perfectly appropriate domain name for a site which is devoted to disclosing just how much money HMG syphons off of its productive citizens every day and, more pointedly, where it all ends up.
Broadcast your seeds with gusto, you Great Sowers of Hope, and may those seeds be nurtured, fed, watered, grow and cover all the land with a golden harvest.
Your normal service of doom, gloom, despair, gnashing of teeth, wailing and general despondency will now be resumed. Thank you.
[My thanks to Stephen Pollard for the links.]
I recall reading an article a few months ago – I think it was either in the Guardian or the Independent, I’m not sure which- bemoaning the low standards of British TV comedy.
Neither am I able to remember precisely the conclusions drawn in said article or, indeed, if any conclusion was drawn at all. Personally, my prognosis is that British comedy is failing to inspire because life in Britain has surpassed any attempt at parody:
A convicted murderer who tried to attack a work colleague with an axe, while out of prison on licence, is to receive compensation for unfair dismissal.
James Robertson, 50, learned of the employment tribunal’s decision from jail, where he is now serving two life sentences.
On Wednesday, the tribunal ruled the council was wrong to sack Robertson without notice after the incident, and ordered the authority to pay him £800 compensation.
I wonder what type of ‘notice’ would have satisfied the Employment Tribunal?
“Dear Mr.Roberston,
It has come to our attention that you tried to murder one of your co-workers with an axe. We take the view that such behaviour is inappropriate and not conducive to a happy working environment.
We must ask you to refrain from such activities in the future, failing which we shall have no choice but to consider further disciplinary action.”
Or do you think that such a letter might be construed as too judgemental?
The result from tonight’s European Soccer Championship qualifying match between England and Turkey:
England 2 Turkey 0
On the battlefield, on the football field: Rosbeefs rule!
Regular readers of this blog will know that I have, thus far, refrained from engaging in the billious rounds of reflexive anti-French bashing that pepper the blogosphere.
This is because I appreciate that, despite the odious example set by their political classes, France is a very complex and varied country that is not always fairly represented by the mephitic emanations of its ‘intellectuals’.
Also, as I have said before, not everyone who opposes the war is dishonourable or idiotic. However, some manifestations of anti-war sentiment in France plumb such depths of perversity that they serve only to drag that once-great country’s reputation into the sewer.
For example, according to a French opinion poll published in the UK Times:
Relations will be further rent by a second poll, in Le Monde, showing that only a third of the French felt that they were on the same side as the Americans and British, and that another third desired outright Iraqi victory over “les anglo-saxons”.
A THIRD!!?? Thirty-three per cent!!?? One out of every three people want Saddam Hussein to win?
Having given some careful consideration to the various social and cultural factors which necessarily play a part in such political dynamics and giving due weight to the nuances that ought properly to be examined to the extent that they shape the fabric of public debate in that demos, I have just one little question which arises out of this important article of statistical data:
What the f*cking hell is going in that country??!!
A trifling distraction in the scheme of things, but this is so hilarious that I just had to flag it up here.
It appears that a small group of British ‘indymedia’ squirts tried to halt a convoy of munitions by chaining themselves to the trucks. Turned out to be a very bad idea:
The convoy was successfully halted on the west bound slip road at Chievely junction (M4/A34) north of Newbury. One group blocked the lead vehicals [sic], whilst others attempted to lock on to the bomb transporters. Police and lorry drivers seem to be under orders to keep the convoy moving at all costs. Activists were forced to unlock as the lorries kept moving despite the drivers being told that there were people under their vehicals [sic].
Kumbaya, My Lord, Kumbayyyaaaaaa…stop…stop….aaaahhh…….
[My thanks to Little Green Footballs for the link]
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Who Are We? The Samizdata people are a bunch of sinister and heavily armed globalist illuminati who seek to infect the entire world with the values of personal liberty and several property. Amongst our many crimes is a sense of humour and the intermittent use of British spelling.
We are also a varied group made up of social individualists, classical liberals, whigs, libertarians, extropians, futurists, ‘Porcupines’, Karl Popper fetishists, recovering neo-conservatives, crazed Ayn Rand worshipers, over-caffeinated Virginia Postrel devotees, witty Frédéric Bastiat wannabes, cypherpunks, minarchists, kritarchists and wild-eyed anarcho-capitalists from Britain, North America, Australia and Europe.
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