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Banishing the demon drink from Wales

My late mother-in-law used to tell a funny story about how, when she was a child in Wales during the 1930s, she was taken to the doctor. Her mother feared there must be something terribly wrong with her because she did not like tea. Why, she wouldn’t even take a cup with when the minister visited!

Wales is a different place now.

Sale of coffee and tea to under 16s could be banned in Wales

58 comments to Banishing the demon drink from Wales

  • bobby b

    Reading the article, it seems that they ought to be banning sugar instead, if they’re going to ban anything. Whoever thought that “Wales” was just a misspelling of “whales”?

  • Mr Ed

    There is a village, Llanymynech, on the Anglo-Welsh border in which the border runs through not just the village, but some buildings. One of them was once a public house (‘tavern’ to our overseas friends?) and in the times of Welsh temperance it was reported that the part of the Welsh side of the pub could not serve alcohol on Sundays, unlike the English side. AIUI, that particular establishment is no longer a pub, but now things have moved so far that the pretext for tyranny in Wales, even compared to England, as recent lockdowns showed, has become so flimsy that ‘socially-unfriendly’ elements in Wales might as well report to the mines for corrective labour.

  • Paul Marks

    But, no doubt, injecting the under 10s with the Covid stuff will be just fine.

  • llamas

    A good cup of tea, properly-made, will bring the dead back to life, make your rifle shoot further/more accurately, give one the necessary ‘oomph’ to start a British Seagull, provide the internal fortitude to reach the back plug on a Jaguar 6, cure a hangover, provide the crucial thinking time required to avoid making any one of a hundred bad decisions, and generally (as P. G. Wodehouse had it) ‘restore the tissues’. So crucial is a cup of tea to the prosecution of a normal life that those who live far from Albion’s shores must needs have the doings imported. Your mother did quite right to take you to the doctor because you didn’t like tea – there was obviously a grave danger of serious illness.

    llater,

    llamas

  • William O. B'Livion

    So crucial is a cup of tea to the prosecution of a normal life that those who live far from Albion’s shores must needs have the doings imported.

    Huh.

    I didn’t know that tea was native to Great Britain.

    More of a coffee guy myself, but I don’t mind a cup of tea here and there.

    Are they banning caffeinated soft drinks as well?

  • bobby b

    Sorry, llamas, but that must be an acquired taste. Sounds like Red Bull to me. Or maybe espresso. 😉

  • Fraser Orr

    And in other news “Wales bans singing”. Apparently all that “Guide me oh thou great Jehovah” might suggest to kids to deviate from the guidance given in school, and “bread of heaven, feed me now and evermore” might suggest that someone other than the government should feed the poor.

    Damn right wing Christian white supremacist Welsh. Next they’ll be denying the obviously extreme colonialism in Ivor the Engine.

  • Rudolph Hucker

    @Willam
    I didn’t know that tea was native to Great Britain.

    Ma wee cousin Angus MacHucker tells me the best tea grown in Britain is Scottish
    https://teagardensofscotland.co.uk/

    Or Cornish (not English)
    https://tregothnan.co.uk/

    But no sign of any grown in Wales.

  • Rudolph Hucker

    Trigger warning!
    Welsh Tea Cakes contain sugar.
    https://www.bbc.co.uk/food/recipes/welsh_cakes_16706

  • Paul Marks

    Tea and coffee cause men in their 70s to physically attack Secret Service agents, and lead a force of A15 carrying supporters to “storm” the Capitol building in Washington D.C.

    The J5 Committee says so – so it must be true. Mr Bret Baier of Fox News says the obvious lies are “compelling testimony” and Mr Jessie Smollett and National Review agree.

    Notice such things as “AR15” – the rifle that the establishment want to ban if they can not just ban the ammunition sales. Soon we will be told that Ashli Babbitt was waving an AR15 (and so was killed in an act of self defence), and that President Trump was there with her (also waving an AR15 he had found somewhere – having beaten his Secret Service guards to a pulp with his bare hands) – and that the Capitol Police Offices who “committed suicide” some time after January 6th, were in fact shot down by Trump supporters (with AR15s) who were “high” on tea and coffee. Dr Goebbels writes the script and the establishment (including Mr Bret Baier of Fox News) declare it is “compelling”.

    I am sure that Liz Cheney, and the other neocons, are working with the Democrats on a Bill to ban tea and coffee.

    On a serious note – the “Pragmatist” philosophy that the American elite are taught (it was been powerful in the universities long before Marxism became popular) teaches that Objective Truth does not exist – and that the “Progressive” end, justifies the means – any amount of lying (and much worse).

    “Conservatives”, such as Liz Cheney and National Review magazine, are taught that their loyalty must be to “the system” – the brutal fact that the system is corrupt (that the system does harm – not good), they are taught to ignore.

    As Perry often says – the state, at least the Deep State, is not your friend.

  • Paul Marks

    “Disinformation!” “Ban him!” “Send him to prison and have him raped to death!” – “It is the J6 Committee, not the J5 Committee!”

  • Y. Knott

    “are working with the Democrats on a Bill to ban tea and coffee”

    – As Christopher Hitchens put it, “A communist country is a place where everything not absolutely compulsory is absolutely forbidden.”

  • Snorri Godhi

    As Christopher Hitchens put it, “A communist country is a place where everything not absolutely compulsory is absolutely forbidden.”

    I believe that Newt Gingrich said something similar, replacing “communist” with “liberal”. Don’t know who said it first.

  • Penseivat

    So, under 16’s in Wales can’t buy tea or coffee as they are not old enough, but they can apply to transgender. May I suggest all Welsh politicians take a test for early onset Alzheimers?

  • Snorri Godhi

    There is a letter on display at the Carlsberg Visitor Center in Copenhagen. It is from a customer who begs the brewery to find a solution to the current beer shortage, as he dreads the consequences of having his children drinking tea. An old letter, of course.

    There was also a story in Scientific American about another letter, from Friedrich II “the Great” (Hohenzollern) to his army officers, recommending that they drink beer instead of coffee, as the latter does not make good soldiers.

  • llamas

    The form of tea developed and preferred in Blighty – a strong, astringent blend of Indian and Singhalese black teas – is very specific and is little favoured elsewhere. Poor, benighted losers they are too, in ‘elsewhere’. Interesting to note that, in my preferred Pakistani/Afghan grocery store – Alez Market in Ypsilanti, MI, if anyone cares – the brands of tea on sale are dominated by British brands – TyPhoo, Brooke Bond, PG Tips. Even the folks who invented the stuff recognize the superiority of the British version, and import it from halfway round the world in preference to the local dishwater. Don’t even get me started on the radiator drainings sold as ‘tea’ in the US. There oughtta be a law . . .

    llater

    llamas

  • Snorri Godhi

    I favor Earl Grey myself. Preferably with lemon & honey, but that’s optional.

    Tea with lemon & sugar, and biscuits, used to be my favorite breakfast. Now i prefer a liter of weak coffee with nothing else. Two meals/day are plenty.

  • NickM

    Excellent news! I live in Cheshire. I can imagine myself running tea across the border and “pushing” it outside school gates.

  • NickM

    llamas,
    From my experience the Yanks can put a man on the moon but can’t make tea.

  • NickM

    I base that bold assertion on having been to the Kennedy Space Centre, FL and having had tea in about eight states.

  • Fraser Orr

    @NickM
    From my experience the Yanks can put a man on the moon but can’t make tea.

    You are familiar with that little dust up we had in Boston — something that turned Boston harbour into a very weak tea itself. Americans in colonial times kind of thought of tea as unpatriotic. It is why we humiliated tea by inventing sweet iced tea in the southern states.

    And, FWIW, I was brought up in blighty, and I think the only drink more vile than tea (or as Americans call it “hot tea”) is iced tea. Oh, wait, we have another contender: green tea. It tastes so bad it must be good for you.

  • Oh, wait, we have another contender: green tea. It tastes so bad it must be good for you.

    I had “green tea” in San Francisco one time. Tasted like boiled mouthwash and pencil erasers.

    Absolutely vile stuff.

  • Paul Marks

    No, no, no Snorri – you must not like Earl Grey tea, it is named after the Earl Grey who “gave millions of Pounds to slave owners” – all statues of this evil racist must be thrown in the sea, and anyone who drinks Earl Grey tea must be exterminated.

    “But he abolished slavery in the British Empire” – do not try and confuse the issue with minor details.

    No I am not making this stuff up – I had one of these Guardian types ranting on to me about the evil Earl Grey only yesterday.

  • Stonyground

    What exactly is the problem with children drinking tea and coffee? This is what you get when you create a regional assembly with no actual job to do.

  • Snorri Godhi

    Hi Paul: as a matter of fact, it is partly because it is named after Charles Grey (2nd Earl) that i enjoy drinking Earl Grey.

    I was not aware that slave-owners were compensated after the abolition of slavery. I remember reading that JS Mill spoke in Parliament against compensation, but of course one must put together a majority.

    Charles Grey also made a great step forward in making the UK more of a mixed constitution, by making the House of Commons more democratic. And i like his (very conservative) principle that practical improvement is infinitely preferable to theoretical perfection.

  • llamas

    Earl Grey tea – flavoured with Eau de Cologne. Horrible stuff 😉. But, shakun arson goot, I guess.

    llater,

    lamas

  • Snorri Godhi

    WRT other remarks about tea:
    I have no idea how well Americans can make tea, because i hardly ever drink tea which i did not make myself. I tend to think that it is more a matter of the tea blend than of the maker, but i am sure that at least the Japanese would disagree.

    I do not much enjoy green tea, but to be honest i dislike ‘English Breakfast’ even more. The latter becomes drinkable with a bit of cream or milk, however; while i have not yet found a way to make the former quite enjoyable.

    As for iced tea: after detox from sugar, sugary drinks nauseate me; but i suspect that, with lemon and perhaps just a bit of sugar or honey, i could enjoy iced tea in a heatwave.

  • Penseivat

    “green tea. It tastes so bad it must be good for you.”
    Quite a few years ago, I was ‘advised’ to drink green tea in an attempt to lower my cholestorol level. At work, my line manager, not known for his sense of humour or logic, asked what I was drinking and I told him I was on a new health routine and was drinking my own urine.
    “Are you taking the p*ss?”, he asked.
    “Yes.” I replied, “Four mugs a day.”
    He wandered off, muttering about the loonies the firm was employing.
    It never lowered my cholestorol, by the way, and soon went back to builder’s tea.

  • NickM

    I’m a Geordie. In the very centre of Newcastle is this. They’ll have to get past me.

    As to the tea. Well… The only person I know who likes it is a fictional Frenchman from Yorkshire 😉

    Snorri,
    “English Breakfast” is meant to be had with milk. It is an acquired taste.

  • Ferox

    “Everything not forbidden is compulsory” appears in “The Once And Future King” by T.H. White. Not sure if that is the first instance, but it’s earlier than Christopher Hitchens, anyway.

    Suntea, ice cold with not too much sugar in it, is the very best drink for 100+ degree temps. The only reason people on the other side of the water drink their tea hot all the time is that it’s always cold and gray over there 🙂

  • The problem with tea in the US, in Belgium and in certain other countries where I have ordered tea in restaurants and looked in horror at what I was brought, is that people who grow up in coffee-oriented countries become conditioned to the idea of using off-the-boil water to make hot drinks, whereas anyone who knows anything about tea knows it must be made with boiling water – bubbling water as I once saw it described in the US in a desperate attempt to overcome the natives’ inner conviction that one surely does not actually pour agitated, noisy water directly on the leaves.

  • Hunting around on the web, I found this discussion of where the phrase “Everything not forbidden is compulsory” came from. Summarising, it would seem that a number of English-speaking writers, politicians and journalists started using variants of the phrase in the late 1930s to describe totalitarianism. Heinlein used it in an SF short story in 1940 and T.H.White (as Ferox noted) in 1941.

    It may have been suggested by the much older phrase “Everything not forbidden is permitted” used by German poet Friedrich Schiller. So it may have originated in a bitter joke by Schiller-reading German-speaking anti-Nazis or anti-Communists. The fact that the second-known English statement of the phrase (the first to use it in a totalitarian context) is in a 1938 speech by a former British military governor of Palestine raises the possibility that some Schiller-loving Jewish refugee from Germany might have brought the phrase to his ears (he ceased to be governor long before Hitler but had been somewhat supportive of Zionism and retained contacts).

  • Snorri Godhi

    anyone who knows anything about tea knows it must be made with boiling water

    Oh yes, but do you pour the water on the tea or do you pour the water into the pot/cup, and then add the tea?
    My PhD supervisor (English, working-class background by his own reckoning) claimed that you must do the latter. I remember him having an argument with a Polish colleague about this.
    I have been following the advice of my advisor 🙂 but maybe i should try the other way.
    Not that i drink tea often.

    It may have been suggested by the much older phrase “Everything not forbidden is permitted” used by German poet Friedrich Schiller.

    I vaguely remember reading a quote to the effect that “in France, everything not explicitly forbidden is permitted, while in Germany, everything not explicitly permitted is forbidden.”
    Which i feel overrates the difference between the 2 national cultures in this respect. There are probably greater differences in other respects.

  • Fraser Orr

    @Niall Kilmartin
    that people who grow up in coffee-oriented countries become conditioned to the idea of using off-the-boil water to make hot drinks

    One of the odd quirks I noticed when I moved to the USA is that here people don’t have kettles in their kitchen. I mean obviously some do, often a “tea kettle” that sits on the stove but most don’t. As you know kettles that plug into the wall are in every British kitchen — to not have one is like not having a fridge.

    So I wonder if the two phenomena are related. FWIW, I think part of the reason is that it is REALLY common in the UK for people to use freeze dried instant coffee whereas here it is very much looked down upon, so most people have a little drip coffee thing. (or more recently, a machine that you pay a dollar for a little plastic pod you can insert that contains really terrible coffee.) Even French Presses are rare here compared to the UK.

    Four feet from where I am sitting in my office is a standard white plastic plug in kettle and a jar of good old Nescafe instant. Criticise my lack of class and good taste all you want, but I LIKE it.

    Oh, and FWIW, my impression here is that “hot tea” drinkers here have a bit of a superiority complex — they are too good to drink coffee like the plebian masses. They are in the know, they are woke and health conscious. This impression is squared for people who drink green tea. This may be totally unfair, but sometimes I have to let my little prejudices peek out from the parapet. How many people who drink green tea voted for Donald Trump? Not too many I think. FWIW this only applies to the USA, it is not at all like that in the UK.

  • Snorri Godhi (June 29, 2022 at 7:27 pm),

    1) ‘mask’ the teapot [thanks to Snorri below – I carelessly wrote ‘kettle’ instead of ‘teapot’ in the first draft of this]: rinse the inside of the teapot with boiling water to take the edge of its non-boiling temperature. Having poured out this water,

    2) put the leaves or tea bag in the teapot and immediately pour boiling water over them.

    3) When I am in a hurry for a single mug of tea, I confess to skipping (1), putting a tea bag in a mug and pouring boiling water into the mug. (You may compare this with drinking instant coffee versus real coffee.)

    4) The fraught issue of prelactarian versus postlactarian I will pass over. It could I suppose be argued that either approach is compatible with a good cup of tea. (I respect nonlactarians but am not of their faith.)

    So I am sorry to have to tell you that your PhD supervisor was simply wrong and his Polish colleague correct.

  • You’re all cultural barbarians.

    Twining’s “Lampshade Shoeshine” is the only tea worth drinking as advised to me by overeducated tea monger Stephen Fry.

    Having said that though the box next to the kettle has been sitting there, unopened since 1983, so maybe cultural barbarianism is more common than I think.

    Beats that Earl Grey cobblers…”Flavoured with Bergamot” my arse.

  • Natalie Solent (Essex)

    I learned an interesting tea-related fact from an article by Arthur Scargill. (One should be willing to learn from anyone.) He explained that pre-lactarianism was practised by the proletariat and the aristocracy, whereas post-lactarianism was a bourgeois habit. Why? Because the aristocrats drank tea from delicately sculpted fine china cups that were likely to crack on contact with boiling water, the proletariat drank tea from the very cheapest, thinnest china cups that were also likely to crack on contact with boiling water, whereas the middle classes drank tea from china that was sturdy enough that you didn’t have to worry whether water or milk went in first.

  • “Are you pre- or post-lactarian, vicar?”

    Yeah. That ain’t happening.

  • Snorri Godhi

    I am keen to test what i shall call the “Polish method”. That means that i shall probably do so before the end of July.

    PS: where Niall wrote “kettle”, he probably meant “teapot”.

  • llamas

    As said, boiling water is the key – so critical that I imported an electric kettle from the UK and installed special wiring in my house to run it, so that the water is still actively boiling when it hits the tea. US electric kettles rarely reach this point, due to the 115V/15A limitation.

    Absolutely, post-lactarianism, as tending to avoid scalding the milk. The best tea used to be made using ‘top-of-the-milk’ from gold-top bottles, but the product sold in the US as ‘half-and-half’ is so close as makes no odds. A surprisingly-good cuppa char is made using the product sold in the Netherlands as ‘koffiemelk’.

    That being said, milk is optional – I drank my tea without milk or sugar for more than 30 years – but there’s still nothing more sublime, or effective, as a good cup of ‘builders’. The best taste is obtained using a teapot that has been unwashed a good long time, using water heated over an oxy-acetylene torch, and tealeaves kept in an airtight tin. Bacon butty optional.

    llater,

    llamas

  • Bacon butty optional.

    You mistyped “Bacon butty mandatory”. Please revert.

  • bobby b

    Who Are We?

    The Samizdata people are a bunch of sinister and heavily armed globalist illuminati who seek to infect the entire world with the values of personal liber-tea . . .

  • Natalie Solent (Essex)

    bobby b,

    It’s time for The Joke again:

    Why do socialists drink herbal tea?
    Because proper tea is theft.

    And the Other Joke:

    Why do Randians drink herbal tea?
    Because proper tea is sacred.

    (I know that’s been a Samizdata QotD at least once, but I can’t find it quickly.)

  • Stonyground

    I stayed in a Hotel in France that had a thermostat in the kettle. It wouldn’t boil, it turned itself off before it got there. Then after it cooled down for a bit it would switch itself back on.

  • Paul Marks

    Snorri – Earl Grey did not really like politics, and took the first opportunity to retire to private life. This is a point in his favour.

    Of course – he had the money to retire to private life, some of us do not.

    As for the money spent paying off the slave owners – it was very large, a vast sum by the standards of the time.

    However, the amount of money spent by going down the American route (ending slavery by war) was vastly greater. And there was a terrible cost in human lives to the American Civil War – more than all other American wars put together (and out of a vastly smaller population).

    People often confuse “19th century” and “Victorian Age” in British history – they should not confuse these terms.

    For example, most of the things that I like about the 19th century happened BEFORE Victoria became Queen – not all, but most.

    As for “reform” – that depends on what DIRECTION the reforms are in.

    If the reforms mean more liberty then good – but “reform” in the mid to late 19th century came to mean more (not less) government, less freedom.

    It was not just Disraeli – it was also Lord Derby (the leader of the Tories before Disraeli – the person who really pushed out Sir Robert Peel), J.S. Mill rightly summed up the reforms this man “achieved” and wanted to “achieve” (which started with the establishment of state education in Ireland in 1831) with one word – the word J.S. Mill used was “liberticide”.

    Of course, Mr Mill himself (and other Radicals in the Liberal Party) also had a whole list of statist “reforms” they wished to impose.

    Their claims that “everyone agrees” that government (national and local) should spend more money on XYZ things, and impose more economic regulations, were just not true – everyone did not agree.

    And the claim that economic freedom was a “different principle” from personal civil liberties, and that regulation on a trader were different from regulation on a buyer, is wrong – t is a philosophical confusion.

    As for their economics – the influence of David Ricardo was the key problem. His Labour Theory of Value (which is false) and his ideas on LAND (which are also false).

    But even Adam Smith had lots of confusions in his ideas – on economic value, on land, and the idea that the benefits of government spending counter balances the costs of government spending (that idea was the source of the antics of Sir Charles Trevelyan in Ireland in the late 1840s), the benefits of government spending do NOT counter balance the cost of it (the cost is vastly greater than the benefit).

  • I stayed in a Hotel in France that had a thermostat in the kettle. It wouldn’t boil, it turned itself off before it got there. Then after it cooled down for a bit it would switch itself back on.

    Which is why I always bring a micro kettle with me on holiday or business travel. If you’re stuck or arrive after the kitchen is closed you can always make a cuppa or add boiling water to an emergency dehydrated pasta meal packed for the occasion. It ain’t perfect but it beats starvation / thirst.

    I carry about 25g of instant coffee, a dozen tea bags and 50g of sugar in a little box of items along with wooden cutlery (since airlines don’t like metal knifes and stuff) and chopsticks. Doesn’t take much space or add much weight and useful in emergencies.

  • Eh, I just get my caffeine from Rockstar brand energy drinks.

    Hey, where’d you get all those bayonets?

  • Token Californian here, but my summers were in the American South (Mobile, Alabama – the state the size of England).

    I liked sweet tea when I was young and had a kids taste. For kids you can just add color to sugar and they’ll love it. Pixie Sticks, anyone? But I didn’t like tea any other way, and hated coffee.

    Decades later I’m in Saudi Arabia during wartime and coordinating with some UK soldiers. They offered tea, and being polite, I accepted. Thus I was introduced to “prapah British teah” and enjoyed it.

    I later discovered I am a “supertaster” for bitterness, which explained my aversion to most teas. To me, they are over-steeped. What is pleasantly sharp and bitter to you is like gargling tannic acid to me.

    Boiling water, PG Tips or Lyons, steep 3 minutes (4 max) for me. Add half-n-half (I think that’s “light creame” in archaic… I mean UK English… 😉 and some sucralose. What can I say? I like it milky, rich, and sweet. Done. You want it straight? Go ahead!

    Green tea is WAY too bitter for me (see above), white tea is… too delicate. And Earl Gray? Save the flowers for the bouquet.

    But banishing tea in an effort to combat obesity? Dear Lord, that’s blaming the pencil for spelling mistakes.

    P.S. An English expatriate co-worker saw me steeping some PG Tips, and pointed out that while he couldn’t fault my preference for milk and sweetener, he did fault my use of a double-walled glass mug. Is that even a thing? Is tea “not proper” if it’s not in a ceramic mug?

  • bobby b

    If you go into a large US grocery store and wander into their rather large tea section and then look for “English tea”, you find “Earl Grey.” And that’s about all.

    So maybe I’ve just never had a good tea. It’s all been just flowers or tanins or (ugh) orange. (Or something called English Breakfast Tea, which was . . . .)

  • the other rob

    Our local supermarket chain (United, in the Texas Panhandle) carries PG Tips as a regular grocery item. Heinz beans too!

  • Fraser Orr

    @the other rob
    Our local supermarket chain (United, in the Texas Panhandle) carries PG Tips as a regular grocery item. Heinz beans too!

    You can get British (and other, what they’d call “ethnic cusine”) where I live, however, based on the price they fly it over on a first class seat on Concorde. A pack of chocolate Hobnobs? $8. Six tunnocks tea cakes? $6. However, I’ll splurge sometimes just for nostalgia sake. Much as Britain isn’t renowned for its cuisine, I can say for sure that the thing I miss most about Scotland, besides my family, is the food. Right now I’d kill for a Gregs Cheese and Onion pasty, or an onion pakora on the way home from the pub. Oh, and most of all, an M&S treacle tart heated with single cream.

    Any of you nice Brits want to help an old ex pat out with a bit of a care package?

  • Gregs Cheese and Onion pasty… (insert sound of Homer Simpson drooling)…

    At least, due to the large influx of Cornish miners in the foothills of the Sierra Madres, I can get good Cornish pastys in Sacramento and the small towns east of it. Pasties? Whatever the plural is. Pasteaux.

    And Amazon, while being evil, does carry PG Tips and other good British Teas. Or English, Irish, and Scottish teas. Possibly Welsh and Cornish teas, I guess. Exeter teas… North Sunderland teas… that would be East North Sunderland, shop nearer to Seahouses and the old school, not those west side shops…

    I do enjoy British Regionalism a bit much.

  • bobby b

    If someone just wanted to see what the fuss was all about – why do the English love their tea so much? – which Amazon offering would be the best representation of the genre? The mentioned PG Tips?

  • llamas

    @ bobby b. – happy to, it’s our Christian duty to help the afflicted ;-).

    Start gently. PG Tips is as good a place as any. If you’re of a sensitive disposition, you could try Yorkshire Gold. If you’re feeling bold, you could go for Barry’s, the choice of the savage Hibernian.

    Don’t get all tied up with the whole ceremony of loose tea leaves. Get some teabags. Toss one in your favourite mug, preferably pre-heated by swilling with hot water. Then pour boiling water on it – not ‘water that was boiled once’ but ‘water that is boiling right now’. Let it steep for about two minutes. You can help it along by stirring if you like. Remove the bag. Add half-and-half to the colour of a perfectly-firing spark-plug – you know, of course, what that is. If you like sugar, add to taste – the classic ‘raise the dead’ ‘builder’s tea’ takes two heaped teaspoons to the mug. Start to drink as soon as it is cool enough to tolerate.

    If you don’t like this – oh, dear, how sad, never mind. Your probably wouldn’t like baked beans or Marmite either.

    llater,

    llamas

  • bobby b

    Thanks, llamas. I’ll look for those.

    (Baked beans I make and eat regularly. Consider them to be American food. But . . . Marmite? Isn’t that the yeasty sludge I clean out of my brew kettles? Probably loaded with Vit B, but. . . )

    Oh, and . . . two-cycle or four-cycle plug?

  • llamas

    @ bobby b. – oh, four-stroke, of course. You’re not yet ready for the unique, sweet-and-sour tang of Castrol R in your tea. You need to spend two days in the rain at Brands Hatch first.

    Regarding beans – no, you don’t understand. I don’t mean the mixture of road aggregate, pig feed and sump oil that masquerades in the US as ‘baked beans’. I mean Heinz baked beans, in the blue-green tin. On toast. White toast. Cheap white bread toast.

    Marmite? Well, it’s one of those things – I can explain it for you, I just can’t understand it for you :-). Our always-generous host might be able to.

    llater,

    llamas

  • Nicholas (Unlicensed Joker) Gray

    Thanks, Natalie! I can now prove that there are jokes worse than any I thought up!

  • sonny wayz

    “I confess to skipping (1), putting a tea bag in a mug”

    This is my morning go-to. Just use a large mug.

    “unique, sweet-and-sour tang of Castrol R”

    There’s smell not to forget. Bugger, seems I’ll be sleeping in the garage tonight, just for posterity.

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