We are developing the social individualist meta-context for the future. From the very serious to the extremely frivolous... lets see what is on the mind of the Samizdata people.
Samizdata, derived from Samizdat /n. - a system of clandestine publication of banned literature in the USSR [Russ.,= self-publishing house]
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SCENE: A secret chamber underneath Whitehall. ‘Q’ is busy directing a gaggle of technicians when the sliding doors swish open. In steps OO7.
Q: Ah, Bond
BOND: Good morning, Q
Q: Off on another mission I hear
BOND: Yes. Her Majesty’s Government has gotten wind of a conspiracy by an International Hate Speech Syndicate. Seems they’re plotting to flood the civilised world with language that might be perceived as offensive.
Q: The Fiends!
BOND: Precisely. They must be stopped.
Q: You’ll need the proper equipment, Bond
BOND: Have you got my standard issue Walther PPK?
Q: Good grief, Bond! Are you mad? We can’t have people running around with guns. You might hurt someone. No, we’re going to issue you with these.
[Hands over a pair of brand, new trainers]
BOND: That looks like a pair of running shoes, Q
Q: Very observant, Bond.
BOND: Are they rocket-powered?
Q: No, but they are air-cushioned. If some snarling, evil henchman comes at you, you just slip them on and run like the blazes.
BOND: Hmm. I see. What about my Aston Martin?
Q: Sorry, Bond, but we’ve had to scrap that.
BOND: WHAT??!!
Q: It’s all part of our commitment to meet the targets for environmental protection agreed at the Johannesburg conference. You’re going to be issued with this bicycle.
[Wheels up bicycle]
BOND: Does it have any special features?
Q: It certainly does; it comes with a safety helmet and a set of knee-pads. Now do pay attention, Bond; you must never attempt to ride this bicycle without the proper safety equipment.
BOND: What about that silver gadget on the handle?
Q: Ah yes. Now if you press this little silver button here….
BOND: It fires a heat-seaking missile?
Q: No it’s a little bell that goes tring, tring, tring. Let’s everyone know you’re coming. Effective up to 5 metres.
BOND: I feel safer already
Q: Now remember, Bond, this is all the property of HM government and it has to be returned in one piece.
BOND: I’ll do my best, Q
[BOND turns to go]
Q: Oh and Bond……
BOND: Yes, Q?
Q: Do try to avoid seducing any beautiful, exotic women on your travels.
BOND: Is that because it may compromise the mission, Q?
Q: No, it’s because you may well end up in prison, Bond. Dismissed.
Anyone who recalls reading my report on the ‘Liberty and Livelihood March’ that took place in London (although ‘took over London’ is more accurate) in September may have been as struck as I was by the militant tone of the participants. They were very angry people.
Of course, such belligerent postures often turn out to be more an expression of bravura rather than a forewarning of intentions but if this report in the Telegraph is anything to go by, then maybe they did really mean it:
“Militant hunt supporters are threatening to sabotage essential services, including electricity pylons, gas supplies and food deliveries, in reaction to the Government’s decision to introduce a Bill that would ban foxhunting.”
Home-grown insurrection about to begin?
“The Real CA were hopping mad, really furious, and the talk was very serious indeed. They are talking about highly criminal acts, but they feel they have been driven to it.”
I can corroborate that the people on that march were, indeed, hopping, jumping and skipping mad but is the ‘Real CA’ real? One can never entirely discount the possibility that this is a Security Service operation designed to smoke possible insurrectionists out of the woodwork and neutralise them before they start actually embarking upon any campaigns of damage or disruption.
Certainly, if the Security Services were not aware of the ‘Real CA’ they most assuredly are now and, if the insurrectionists are good to their word, what is HMG going to do about it?
Tonight three North African Muslims were arrested by MI-5 and charged under Section 57 of the Prevention of Terrorism Act, with conspiring to release cyanide gas in the London Underground (the subway train system).
The arrested men were said to belong to an organization that is part of Al Qaeda.
If only the British State would spend a great deal more of its appropriated money on this sort of legitimate operation and building up our highly professional but vastly under-funded military… and spend vastly less time and stolen money distorting our economy, abridging our liberties and generally screwing things up, we would be a great deal safer than we currently are.
I walked past the headquarters of the Metropolitan Police Service in Victoria Street yesterday and saw giant banners telling citizens not to call the emergency services number 999. The advice was that “unless a crime is being committed or a person is in immediate danger” one should call the local police station.
If I understand this notice correctly, if I should observe a murder being committed in the street outside my window, and I am quite sure the victim is dead (e.g. by being decapitated with a machete), and the murderer flees the scene of the crime, then I must not call the emergency services or risk being arrested for wasting valuable police time. Instead I should attempt to contact my local police station which is normally either shut, or the fearless crimefighters are hiding in back offices compiling hate crime statistics. As the typical response time for calling my local police station is never (at least on the three occasions in the past five years that I tried that route), this means that the police don’t want forensic evidence, and the corpse is presumably a problem for the road sweepers.
With the abolition of the right to silence, police licence to shoot people in the street for no good reason, and the removal of double jeopardy, there doesn’t seem to be much point in wasting time on detective work to actually try to find out who is really committing a crime.
Meanwhile hate crimes have their own hotline. This is useful. I’ve been bored with the usual tiresome ethnic jokes for some time. The fact that one can be arrested for telling a joke which someone finds offensive on the grounds of race, gender, and sexuality will obviously make London a safer place to live.
Moors murderess Myra Hindley has just died and is hopefully now burning in hell. Good riddance.
…does not mean it is not true!
In Brian‘s earlier article about why railways are the width they are, there has been much commenting about the veracity of the theory that it can be traced back to Imperial Roman times. But in those comment, it was claimed the English V-sign is also of largely mythical origin. I disagree.
The meaning of the V-sign is quite well known and I have not seen any better explanations.
The US gesture of extending the middle finger is clearly just a phallic reference (i.e. “f**k you”), but the English V-sign, which has some similar connotations (i.e. it is not a sign of endearment), has historical roots dating back to the 1400’s. If the middle finger is a gesture of anger, the V-sign is a gesture of defiance and above all, a threat. “It is with these two fingers that I use my longbow!”… Up yours, with an arrow!
Of course as with anything of this nature, it is more or less a matter of folk lore yet I have not seen any evidence to contradict the contention that the V-sign was indeed a gesture of defiance by common English soldiers towards the French, though my understanding is that it was not just associated with the Battle of Agincourt but was in general use during the Hundred Years War.
 
Both versions of the gesture made perfect semiotic sense and
were calculated to resonate with the ‘common man’ circa 1940
Since World War Two the V-sign, knuckles inwards, has come to mean V-for-Victory far beyond the shores of Britain. Knuckles outwards, it retains its more ‘earthy’ meaning. Yet Churchill would have been well aware of both the gesture’s significance and history. He intended to coopt both to use against Nazi Germany: Defiance and, to put it bluntly, Up yours.
The V-sign considerably pre-dates the European Union…
but do not think it is can only be aimed at foreign enemies
I do not know whether the news of the fire service strike has travelled beyond the UK, but in case anyone is interested, here is the truth behind it: Today’s London firemen’s strike is the most outrageous bid for money since the Fleet Street print disputes of the 1970s. The system is being milked of money, and the public of sympathy. I admire the firemen’s gall and enterprise. They need no sympathy.
[…]
The Fire Brigades Union demand for 40 per cent in the face of the Bain Report may seem outrageous. But money is not really the issue. The issue is reform. Were the present shift system to go, 40 per cent is probably fair compensation and cheap at the price, especially if other Spanish practices go too.
[…]
Last year’s Tube strikes ended in capitulation by London Underground after a preelection call from a terrified Downing Street. This call sent an excited tremor through every London trade union. Tony Blair was an intervener. He would give in if pushed. The fire strike is the result.
It’s worth reading the whole article – it is the best analysis of the wave of strikes hitting London and the UK. London is chaotic at best of times, it is beyond chaos during strikes, but words fail me to capture the situation with an increased threat of terrorism thrown into the bargain…
Update: John Blundell of the Institute of Economic Affairs has some suggestions about how to run fire brigades.
In a comment to David Carr’s post, Alan K. Henderson asks whether Elizabeth the First would have delivered a speech like the one we got to hear yesterday by Elizabeth the Second. A pertinent reminder as the famous speech of her ancestor (in throne, not blood) attests not only to more balls but timelessness of (some of) the sentiments expressed: My loving people, we have been persuaded by some, that are careful of our safety, to take heed how we commit ourselves to armed multitudes, for fear of treachery; but I assure you, I do not desire to live to distrust my faithful and loving people. Let tyrants fear; I have always so behaved myself that, under God, I have placed my chiefest strength and safeguard in the loyal hearts and good will of my subjects. And therefore I am come amongst you at this time, not as for my recreation or sport, but being resolved, in the midst and heat of the battle, to live or die amongst you all; to lay down, for my God, and for my kingdom, and for my people, my honor and my blood, even the dust. I know I have but the body of a weak and feeble woman; but I have the heart of a king, and of a king of England, too; and think foul scorn that Parma or Spain, or any prince of Europe, should dare to invade the borders of my realms: to which, rather than any dishonor should grow by me, I myself will take up arms; I myself will be your general, judge, and rewarder of every one of your virtues in the field. I know already, by your forwardness, that you have deserved rewards and crowns; and we do assure you, on the word of a prince, they shall be duly paid you. In the mean my lieutenant general shall be in my stead, than whom never prince commanded a more noble and worthy subject; not doubting by your obedience to my general, by your concord in the camp, and by your valor in the field, we shall shortly have a famous victory over the enemies of my God, of my kingdom, and of my people.
Elizabeth I of England – 1588
The police in Britain have been busy smashing down doors and dragging people from their beds.
Yesterday it was wicked people who were connected to child porn (at least the police said they all were – even though hundreds of people have been arrested over the last few days).
Today however it will be people guilty of ‘hate crimes’ – after all, posters on the London Underground warn that to ‘verbally abuse’ people on grounds of race, gender or sexual orientation�is a crime and will be punished.
So who will defend people who have said nasty things? After all they must all be guilty – otherwise the police would not have dragged them into the street (with the other people who live in the street looking down from their bedroom windows).
Yesterday the Prime Minister made a speech (after the Queen’s opening of Parliament). The Prime Minister explained to us that Britain is stuck in the past with a silly devotion to 19th century concepts of civil liberties – such things as trial by jury obstruct the modern state and must be further ‘limited’.
My word, HMG has been busy of late. You’d think the prospect of impending Middle East conflagration might slow them down a tad, but no, not this lot. They’ve still found the time and dedication to set hundreds of monkeys loose on thousands of typewriters and they’ve whipped up a thunderous swarm of new laws and initiatives with which they hope to cure All The Problems in the Known Universe.
So what, exactly, are the primates gibbering on about now? Let’s see, shall we:
“This approach will enable my Government to continue to invest in the public services, while supporting major programmes of reform on health, education, transport and crime.”
They’re going to whack up taxes again so they can feed the public sector while endlessly tinkering around with the Soviet-style systems in a vain attempt to get them to work properly.
“New types of sentence will be introduced to protect the public from dangerous offenders, help reduce re-offending and deal with young offenders.”
None of which will stop our houses getting burgled, our cars getting stolen or our loved ones getting mugged for their loose change.
“The Bill will also allow retrials for those acquitted of serious offences where new and compelling evidence emerges. It will also simplify the rules of evidence to allow judge and jury to hear all the facts, including relevant previous convictions of a defendant.”
Yes, because abolishing the right to a fair trial is a sure and certain way to keep the crime figures down!
“My Government will introduce a Bill to tackle anti-social behaviour that damages communities.
?????????????????????????
“A Bill will be brought forward to modernise the laws on sexual offences and to strengthen the framework of penalties for sex offenders to protect the public.”
Be afraid. Be very afraid.
“A Bill will also be introduced to improve international co-operation in tackling crime, including drugs trafficking, and to modernise the arrangements for international mutual assistance to catch criminals.”
Hello to the European Arrest Warrant, goodbye to Habeas Corpus.
“My Government will bring forward legislation to streamline the licensing system for premises selling alcohol.”
Alright, I’ll give them that one. Long overdue actually. Still, if you toss around enough mud, some of it hits the right spot.
“Legislation will be brought forward to devolve power and resources to frontline staff; give greater freedom to successful hospitals while increasing their accountability to local communities; and to introduce an independent health inspectorate.”
More jobs for Guardianistas!
“University reform proposals will be published to improve access and build on excellence.”
More semi-literate cretins taking degrees in ‘Cake Preparation’ to keep the unemployment figures from rising.
“A Bill will be brought forward to establish a Railway Accident Investigation Branch…”
More jobs for Guardianistas!
“Legislation will also be introduced to provide for the holding of referendums on the issue of regional governance in England.”
We set about abolishing England, keep our masters in Brussels happy and provide even more jobs for Guardianistas!! An HMG Trifecta!
“Measures will be brought forward to protect our environment, including legislation on the conservation and proper management of water.
And even more jobs for Guardianistas plus the added benefit of crippling industry with lashings of unnecessary red-tape. What’s not to like?
“A Bill will be introduced to enable Parliament to reach a conclusion on hunting with dogs.”
You realise, of course, that this means war.
“My Government will make a decision on whether to recommend entry into the single currency on the basis of the assessment of the Five Economic Tests to be completed by next June.”
Because Europe is heading down the toilet-bowl of history and we are determined to bravely follow them.
“My Government will work for rapid and effective implementation of the agreements reached at the recent World Summit for Sustainable Development in Johannesburg and will focus on tackling climate change and finding new ways to meet our energy needs.”
We’re going to abolish breathing.
“Britain’s aid budget will be increased and we will work to implement the Africa Action Plan in response to the New Partnership for Africa’s Development.”
And we’ll even save time and paperwork by remitting your money direct to the numbered Swiss bank account of Mr. R. Mugabe.
It’s all getting a bit much, it really is. I think it’s beginning to overwhelm me. Living in Britain is like taking part in a 24-hour Grumblethon. Phone in with your generous pledges, ladies and gentlemen. All receipts to HM Treasury who will syphon it all off into the infinite black hole of the public purse, never to be seen or heard from again. Just keep paying and smile like you’re having a good time.
I’m fed up, I’m tired, I’m seriously grumpy and I’m going to bed; perchance to dream of a better world where Saddam Hussein is a cab-driver in South London, Al Qaeda is a gameshow host and where all the monkeys have been rounded up and put in the zoo where they belong.
Crime seems to be a flavour of the day in the UK. Today a battle plan to fight crime was unveiled by the government in the Queen’s speech opening the new parliamentary year. And a new advertising campaign was launched on Monday by the Metropolitan Police Service named “Help us cut out hate crime”.
I noticed such posters on Monday and at first I thought they were designed to change the attitudes of the potential perpetrators of hate crimes by yet another ‘awareness’ campaign. (The New Labour seems to be very fond of ‘awareness’ campaign managing to spend prodigious amounts of tax-payers money on pointless and expensive advertising.) My immediate reaction was that of incredulity that anyone could imagine that plastering posters on the Underground would change anything, let alone someone’s bigoted and hateful opinions. Or do they believe in subliminal advertising?
No, the truth is far less subtle – the campaign urges victims of hate crime or those who have information about it to come forward. A name, an address or even a description of offenders will enable police to target criminals and stop the ‘abuse’. Adverts will appear in newspapers and in a number of gay, ethnic and disabled press titles, and on the Underground. There will also be a hate crime and domestic violence radio campaign as well as posters appearing on washroom panels, the underground, and on trains.
Yes, it may seem a good thing to encourage victims to come forward. But that would be more effectively and properly achieved by restoring our confidence in the criminal justice system by making sure that criminals are arrested, sentenced and jailed in timely and effective manner and that victims are not ignored or forgotten in the process.
The effect, if any, of the campaign will be an atmosphere of paranoia at the local community level. Abuse of the system will ensure that. Imagine the trouble you could cause to a neighbour you dislike by simply reporting on him for alleged domestic violence:
“reported cases of hate crime and domestic violence received by the MPS will be, where appropriate, passed to local Community Safety Units (CSUs) for investigation, otherwise handled by local borough police.”
But the scary bit is the bit about the hate crime itself, defined as abusing people because of their race, faith, religion, or disability, or because they are lesbian, gay, bisexual or transsexual. The danger is in the shift from the emphasis on one’s actions that can be classified as criminal acts – murder, rape, theft etc to an entirely different and vague area. Yes, it says ‘abuse’ but so does ‘substance abuse’ and nobody is encouraging drugs to come forward to report on their junkies. Suddenly, the crime is in the eye of the beholder and although it is correct that the victim is the obvious one to do the seeing, it is not correct to encourage the seeing of crime without providing a clear definition. It is precisely such vagueness of definition of hate crimes that encourages victim culture.
As I checked the on-line version of the Evening Standard, a London daily, for an update on yet more travel chaos in the capital, I ended up in the newpaper’s chat room. The posts covered a range of topics from strikes in the UK to German economy, Gordon Brown, the EU, etc. I was fascinated by the following opinions and encouraged by an unexpected degree of common sense they contained.
On Gordon Brown, the UK Chancellor of the Exchequer:
Comparatively other European economies are worse off than ours… for now. The strikes [ed.note: London tube drivers, fire fighters, airport staff] were inevitable. As soon as Brown started raising huge amounts of tax (direct, indirect, stealth, overt, personal & corporate) and making such a great play out of how he was intending to chuck vast quantities of cash at public services without insisting on reform, the unreformed public sector was always going to demand its ‘fair’ share.
In a way, we can thank Brown. He has finally proved, beyond all shadow of a doubt, that old-fashioned socialism with a Treasury-centred tax-and-spend doctrine is a failure. In the past, plenty of excuses have been trotted out about how enough money wasn’t spent to really make a difference. Now, Brown has thrown unimaginable amounts of money, particularly at the NHS… and there is no visible benefit.
It is long past the time when Brown should put the brakes on spending until reform has been carried out. He is throwing good money after bad… our money. He intends to raise taxes further and further because his pride won’t allow him to admit that he has got it wrong. He will end up sacrificing British jobs, industries and competitiveness on the altar of his own enormous ego.
Great Chancellor? Ha! The man has the economic instincts and ability of a whelk.
On German economy:
It’s Economy has tanked. Many small Businesses are closing down due to massive tax and bureacracy. The Unions have way too much power here and the cost of employing people is outrageous. We need a Maggie Thatcher here to deregulate everything and make Germany competetive again. The only light at the end of the Tunnel is the success of the Euro.
Reply: Christ, it must a f***king dim light then.
On the EU:
Every new regulation from the EU seems to add to the pile, and the language of the EU is that Britain should become more like these countries, not that Europe should become more competitive.
[ed.note: to a Europhile in the thread] Do you understand? Do you see why so many of us find your seemingly blind adoration of all things Euroepan so laughable?
What we have now [in the EU] is a ‘club’ for failed socialist politicians where ineptitude, corruption and waste are rewarded by monolithic undemocratic structures. The main political agenda is set by France, whose selectivity in implementing the outcomes are legendary and Germany, which is drowning under the very rules it has helped to create.
How sound is that?! 
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Who Are We? The Samizdata people are a bunch of sinister and heavily armed globalist illuminati who seek to infect the entire world with the values of personal liberty and several property. Amongst our many crimes is a sense of humour and the intermittent use of British spelling.
We are also a varied group made up of social individualists, classical liberals, whigs, libertarians, extropians, futurists, ‘Porcupines’, Karl Popper fetishists, recovering neo-conservatives, crazed Ayn Rand worshipers, over-caffeinated Virginia Postrel devotees, witty Frédéric Bastiat wannabes, cypherpunks, minarchists, kritarchists and wild-eyed anarcho-capitalists from Britain, North America, Australia and Europe.
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