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It’s a tough job but somebody has to do it. I have been doing my bit for the War against woman-hating, religious bigotry by checking out the Miss Universe finalists. Personally I think the registered Republican Miss USA looked much better than Miss Australia, the eventual winner. Useful sociological experiment: check out Miss Sweden and try to focus on horrible tax rates in that country. So if Sweden had the burqah, perhaps they would have lower taxes. Tough call. June 3rd, 2004 | 11 comments - (Comments are closed)
 The summer movie season in the US used to start on the Memorial Day holiday, and the box office statistics used by the major studios until recently reflected this fact. However, ever since Twister was a big hit when released two weeks before Memorial Day in 1996, the studios have started rolling out their big summer movies starting from two weeks before Memorial Day. A couple of years ago, the box office statistics compiled by AC Nielsen EDI were adjusted to reflect this fact. However, this year the first big summer movie was released three weeks before Memorial Day. (This may be a one off thing. Memorial Day is late in the month this year. Or perhaps the summer movie season is now always going to start three weeks before EDI tweaked the definition of summer again to take this into account. Perhaps in a few years “summer” will be statistically redefined to start in February). That first move was Universal’s Van Helsing. That was now three weeks ago, and we can start to see the first few indications of what the summer would be like. The story of last summer has been told. Hollywood released lots of sequels, lots of high concept movies based on comic books, old television series, video games and theme parks. With one or two exceptions grosses were down from the summer before. There was lots of speculation as to whether the advent of DVDs meant that people were less likely to go and see movies in the cinema, or whether it just meant the year’s movies weren’t very good. Certainly, though, people were and are watching lots of movies on DVDs, and Hollywood was making unexpectedly immense amounts of money due to this, which sort of made up for the decline in box office revenues. (Of course, when the DVD format was introduced in the first place a few years back, a number of Hollywood studios waited a couple of years before releasing any movies on the new format. Studio people were frightened that the high quality digital nature of the new format meant that releasing films this way would make them more vulnerable to piracy, and they could not see any upside, as obviously all that would happen is that people would rent movies on DVD the way they had on VHS until then, and giving people a high quality digital experience at home would not cause them to rent or buy more movies. Obviously. Hollywood always runs away from new technology like this, and has an amazing inability to see upside in it. But the upside almost always seems to come). Hollywood went into last summer believing that sequels were going to gross substantially more money than did the original films they were sequels to, but it didn’t happen and they get their noses bloodied a little. It takes two years for the lessons of a bad summer to sink in to Hollywood, but none the less this summer has fewer sequels and the like scheduled than last summer did. The lesson they should probably have learned is that sequels to good films can gross more than sequels to bad films, but the trouble with Hollywood being run by corporate types rather than people who genuinely love movies is that they are sometimes slow to see things like that. One other thing that has been happening this year is what is often called “day and date” international programming. Traditionally, films were released in the US first, and would be rolled out throughout the rest of the world over a period of months. This is now happening less and less for big movies. Films are being released on the same weekend in most major markets. There are two reasons for this. The first is that Hollywood as always is afraid of piracy. Certainly they are losing some money to pirates. Once upon a time I was frequently offered illicit CD and VCDs and VHS tapes when walking down the streets of Asian cities, but if I wanted them in developed countries they would be harder to find. These days I cannot walk down Oxford Street in London without encountering someone selling illicit DVDs of movies current in the US that have probably not been released in the UK yet. Releasing movies in large swathes of Europe and Asia on the same weekend as in the US certainly reduces the window in which this activity is profitable, and this is the main reason given for the fact that there are now simultaneous worldwide releases. But in reality this is more of a symptom than the cause. → Continue reading: The Summer Movie Season gets going May 28th, 2004 | 7 comments - (Comments are closed)
This is tragic. Truly tragic. In fact I am extremely surprised that David Carr has not had a chortle about it at least six hours ago:
No no no. This was not “devastating”. This was an art happening. These people need to dispense with their outdated ways of seeing so-called “reality” and instead look at the world in a new way. This fire did not destroy, it merely moved some objects from one state of being to another … We need to think beyond “specific pieces” to the totality of life … As for all this “uncertainty”, well, what I say is can one ever really be “certain” about anything? Surely we have learned by now not to seek an illusion of certainty in an inherently uncertain world. There is no certainty. There are only different ways of looking at things. We need to get away from the single point of view, the one fixed, bourgeois way of seeing everything, within one fixed frame … blah blah blah … etcetera etcetera etcetera … insert Carr-isms at will. Sometimes Modern Art contrives a happening which really hits the spot and grabs the headlines. Sensational or what? Although, I would advise Buckingham Palace to think about making other arrangements for its art transport needs. May 25th, 2004 | 42 comments - (Comments are closed)
Michael Moore must surely rank as one of the hottest properties in showbusiness. The guy only has to show up to get an award:
So they chose a wanker over a Wong Kar but it is pointless to pretend that there was ever going to be any other outcome. And giving him yet another gold-plated bit of object d’art to place on his buckling mantlepiece is one thing but a standing ovation??!! In truth this was not merely a nod of recognition but an act of worship by a gathering of the faithful. Nor is this starry-eyed circus any longer about the merits (or otherwise) of any particular manifestation of Moorish propoganda for the detail is irrelevant. It is the ‘vibe’ that counts. No, this is not about the films or books of Michael Moore, it is about Michael Moore himself and what the luvvies believe he represents. He is the icon and the muse of anti-everything who tells them what they want to hear and dresses it up as revealed truth. His flock gathers at ceremonies to offer up their tributes and commune with him while he bestows his benedictions upon them. He is St. Michael of Moore. Peace be upon him and may flowers bloom where he treads. May 23rd, 2004 | 99 comments - (Comments are closed)
Our “Quote of the day” below, links to an information page about a new film called ‘Slap her… she’s French’. I was sufficiently intrigued by the title to inquire further and, judging from the serious reviewer, it would appear to be nothing more than a run-of-the-mill, formulaic teen comedy which I shall most likely never see. But, for some people, it is something far more sinister. Beneath the professional review is a comments box where members of the public (and the clinically insane) can leave their own reviews and where I stumbled upon this hilariously deranged rant:
But, apart from that, how was the film? May 22nd, 2004 | 43 comments - (Comments are closed)
Something rather remarkable has just happened. I am watching Baddiel and Skinner Unplanned, and they have just had a serious discussion about how they really did not like the fact that the Government can tell exactly which internet sites you have just been visiting, and read all your emails, and send you to prison if you encrypt them and do not tell them the key, or whatever it is. Baddiel and Skinner never have serious discussions. A bloke in a beard (of the trimmed sort rather than ZZ Top style) asked a question about this, and instead of him being laughed out of the studio, they found themselves discussing it quite seriously. Bearded bloke was allowed to add a further comment (about the emails). Baddiel in particular seemed quite upset. Interesting. May 20th, 2004 | 5 comments - (Comments are closed)
After taking in a movie in Times Square a few days ago, I was suddenly struck by a desire for that most classic of New York City cuisine: the hot dog. I had visions of a fat, juicy frank, smothered in cheese and dripping chilli. I was near drooling at the thought. New York, Coney Island, Baseball, Times Square, Hot Dogs. They are stream of consciousness free associations central to Gotham; icons of the Apple, core Americana. One can argue whether this was caused by subliminal advertisements placed in ‘Troy’ by evil global fast food capitalists. Or perhaps it was the recent cable TV ad for ‘Girthy’ hotdogs starring a beer bellied, back yard barbecuing, flag saluting All American character named Frank. Regardless of the source of this sudden desire there was but one problem. I could not find any. → Continue reading: Where have all the hotdogs gone? May 17th, 2004 | 26 comments - (Comments are closed)
Last night I watched the latest episode of Make Me Honest, in which Howard, a night club entrepreneur, completely and totally failed to make Lawrence honest. “Lawrence” is a fat young Jamaican conman, born and raised. (Last week I watched the previous episode in the same series.) Nevertheless, Howard, for all the fatuous optimism that he brought to the project and to a large degree because of it, did a job on Lawrence and on all the other Lawrences who now infest Britain, and on the present pathetically feeble legal arrangements in Britain that make life so easy for all the Lawrences, that was sweetness itself. As an exercise in trying to rescue Lawrence from the errors of his ways, it was an abject failure, with ABJECT FAILURE stamped all over it, from day one. It was never going to work. But the last laugh in this saga may not be Lawrence’s, because Lawrence’s true character is now nailed down in video for all the world to see and complain about. Lawrence’s life is probably now about to get a lot more complicated and nasty. In short, the tabloid pack will now be after him. → Continue reading: Howard fails to make Lawrence honest May 14th, 2004 | 13 comments - (Comments are closed)
For several decades now I have been seeing people I was at school with become semi-famous, the most completely famous of whom is now Richard Branson, with whom I shared a prep school, and even a rugby team for a term. (I was the worst in the team. He was a force of nature whom you really did not want to get in the way of, even then.) Now, something else along similar lines is happening to me again. I am starting to notice what you might call graduates of the Alternative Bookshop/Libertarian Alliance/Free Market Think Tanks operation of the 1980s. And Greg Foxsmith is definitely a name I recall from those days. He was a customer, subscriber, name I remember in filled in forms, and I think I must have met him quite a few times, although I could not put a face to him until last night. How completely his thinking aligns with mine on all those precious issues, I do not know and do not care, but I would be very surprised if he did not pass the Perry de Havilland metacontext test with some ease. He is, in short, One Of Us. And last night, Greg Foxsmith was on the telly, and I would have missed it had not a friend (thanks – she knows who she is) rang me and made me watch it. The programme was called Make Me Honest, and if you follow that link and you get to this:
With Mike the story was very mixed, and by the end Greg was no longer in touch with him, and was fearing the worst. But Mike had been shown making some progress, and there was definitely cause for hope at the point in the story where the programme left things, as well as foreboding. With Carla, both the story and the outcome of the story were positively Dickensian, and by “postively” Dickensian, I mean Dickensian, but in a very, very good way. → Continue reading: How Greg Foxsmith helped Mike and Carla May 7th, 2004 | 3 comments - (Comments are closed)
The notorious right-wing, Reaganite, propoganda machine of Hollywood is crushing the dissent of Michael Moore:
A sobering day indeed when even the ‘limousine-liberals’ of Hollywood decide that Mr. Moore’s recipes of fabrication and manipulative agit-prop are too much even for them to stomach.
And right there is Mr. Moore’s next best-selling book (“Stupid Movie Moguls”). May 6th, 2004 | 44 comments - (Comments are closed)
Here is an excellent piece of political and cultural commentary, about the excellent TV show South Park and its excellent political and cultural commentary, from Michael Cust.
All of which is very noble and very true. But what I like about South Park is that it is so damn funny. What I believe this shows is that “Hollywood” is not nearly as biased against our kinds of opinions as people with our kinds of opinions, who happen to be talentless bores, often claim. It is just that Hollywood is biased against them and against all other talentless bores, for being talentless bores. What Hollywood is biased in favour of, as is often pointed out here – especially by this Samizdatista in these two much admired postings – is making money. If people with our kinds of opinions can help Hollywood to do that, Hollywood will welcome them with open arms. Hollywood, like Cartman’s mother, is a dirty slut. Cust also has some interesting and provokingly positive things to say about Michael Moore, and about the fact that South Park‘s Matt Stone contributed (in a good rather than anti-gun way) to Bowling for Columbine. May 1st, 2004 | 8 comments - (Comments are closed)
I do not understand how this works, but it sounds like fun, or at any rate like a ripple of the future:
So if there’s there is no CD, what does the word “album” mean in this connection? And, if Super Smart are a “band”, what is a Super Smart live gig like? A bunch of Germans waving their portable phones at the audience?
“Shrouded in mystery” presumably means that Super Smart is actually one person, and anybody can be a Panda for the photo shoots. The individual, by wearing a uniform, is subordinated to the Greater Whole, dominated by one “Super Smart” individual. Germans eh? – they never change. But I suppose much the same could be said of the Wombles. I have yet to acquire a mobile phone, so none of this will make any difference to me. But I do have some questions. For example: Can mobile phone music play more than one note at a time, or is it like solo violin music without any double stopping? How long can it go on for? Is any of it any good? And can I buy a compilation CD of mobile phone Greatest Hits? April 30th, 2004 | 8 comments - (Comments are closed)
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