Ill fares the land. Ominous tidings abound, such as MPs giving ministers powers to restrict the entire internet, World War III breaking out, and Winston Churchill being replaced by a badger.
But who could fail to feel hope stir in their bosom when the headline “Zack Polanski repeated claim hypnosis can increase breast size, BBC interview reveals” is a serious and genuinely consequential piece of political news?
Polanski the politician can be judged by the fact that he wants to arrest the president of Israel and build a relationship with Vladimir Putin. Before he was a charlatan in politics, he was simply a charlatan. But I am not convinced that his claim to have inflated women’s breasts by mesmerism is truly that culpable. He seems to have half-believed it himself, alongside a more plausible theory that what he was actually doing was increasing the women’s self-confidence. There do not seem to have been many complaints from his customers. At some level I expect they understood that what they were buying from him was an hour with someone who would listen to them and then say soothing words. He should have stuck with his previous, more honourable profession. “You can wish your boobs bigger” is a less vicious lie than “This time, rent control will work”.
I’m not familiar with the idea that hypnosis can increase breast size. The only thing that has ever done that for me was beer and whiskey.