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Samizdata, derived from Samizdat /n. - a system of clandestine publication of banned literature in the USSR [Russ.,= self-publishing house]

And 100% of people who drink water eventually die

Ah what a gem this is:

A photo showing the suspect – named by police as Marcel Hesse – bragging about the killing was circulating on the so-called darknet, which is invisible on the open internet and used by criminals.

Unlike the not-so-dark net, which is never used by criminals?

22 comments to And 100% of people who drink water eventually die

  • Julie near Chicago

    It’s much worse than that, Perry. There a some people who drink spirits, or ichor perhaps, and they still die.

    No, the real truth* is that everyone who breathes dies.

    OXYGEN is the real killer. Avoid it at all cost. Even when I was confined to the nursing home, people kept assuming I was being “weaned off oxygen.” Unfortunately, the habit proved unbreakable and I still breathe the stuff. On a regular, and quite frequent, basis. :>(((

    *Which reminds me. Can anyone in this assorted and highly erudite readership explain to me what is an unreal truth? Thanks for your attention.

  • Watchman

    An unreal truth is a truth that is so mindblowing that it is literally unreal, man… 🙄

  • Jacob

    “unreal truth” is what you usually read in the newspapers.

  • Julie near Chicago

    Watchman, Jacob, thank you so much for enlightening me with good, solid information! This is why I am not merely a reader but actually a devotée of Samizdata. 😉 😉 😎

  • Paul Marks

    Yes – it is the “any excuse for censorship” movement at work again Perry.

  • NickM

    Any of you guys pulled a tenner from a cashpoint? You used the DARKNET!!! Oh, yes you did. It’s just the not public internet. The last time I got paid that was the darknet. Yes, I fixed a computer network and got paid by bank transfer. Like a drug dealer or Jimmy Saville. That was the evil darknet.

  • Alisa

    Don’t listen to them Julie – everyone knows that unreal truth is synonymous with fake but accurate.

  • Julie near Chicago

    Ah! Thanks, Alisa — I didn’t think of that. ;>)

  • J.M. Heinrichs

    Unreal is what occurs when the cat plays with a ball of knitting wool.


  • William O. B'Livion

    Julie near Chicago:

    There are a billion or so moslems in the world who accept the word of Mohammad as the literal truth and that everyone else is wrong.

    There are nearly a billion Christians in the world, many of whom believe the bible as the literal truth, others a figurative truth and that everyone else is wrong.

    Ditto Hindus and the Bhagavad Gita. Not sure about their attitude towards other religions.

    At least two sets of those people believe unreal truths.

    All three if you count the however million atheists out there, who *also* might believe in an unreal truth.

  • Nicholas (Unlicenced Joker) Gray

    Yes, I could explain it, Julie, but then I would have to terminate your oxygen addiction permanently.
    Real truth would be like real estate- something you can easily point to. Unreal estate would be intellectual property. Unreal truth would be things that are hard to prove, but true, like the fact that I know I an the real Emperor of All humanity, across all time and space. One day, the whole world will know this! Just not right now.

  • Julie near Chicago

    Gee, Nicholas … and here I thought those guys who think they’re Napoleon were a bit over the top. On the other hand, as I understand it Napoleon was of the same opinion himself. With some justice, I suppose. What’s worrisome is that it sounds as though he may have been in competition with you for the Unreal Truth. Just hang in there — in your heart you know it’s true!


    And don’t go messing with my O2 addiction. I loves the stuff and I gots no intention of EVER giving it up. *SNARL*

  • Nicholas (Unlicenced Joker) Gray

    See, those most in love with their addiction are the ones most in need of a permanent cure! I know that my Imperiality is an unreal-ised truth right now, but, like Napoleon knowing he was Napoleon, it is still true!
    Q. How many Napoleons would it take to change a light bulb?
    A. None! He was a politician, and politicians love keeping us in the dark!

  • Julie near Chicago

    Why N(UJ)G, one of your funnies, and a very good one too! I’m glad to see you haven’t lost your form a bit! :>)))!!!

  • Nicholas (Unlicenced Joker) Gray

    Thank you, Julie! I hope to be known as a great wit, one day, and everyone who knows me assures me that I’m halfway there!

  • Cal Ford

    Aren’t Twitter and Facebook darknets?

  • Alsadius

    To be fair, using the dark net is the sort of thing that isn’t usually needed for legal purposes. I had a buddy who was showing me some stuff on there in university one time, and it seemed like it was mostly drug dealers, child porn, and other similar sketch. The tamest thing I saw on there was a bunch of guides to things like lockpicking, safecracking, improvised explosives creation, and a bunch of Scientology doxxing. (Which, to be fair, are all legal to read about, and make absolutely fascinating reading)

  • Watchman

    I suspect most criminals don’t use the darknet, and don’t use the internet for crimes. That’s because most crimes are still physical.

    And most online crime is simple phishing I believe? Which by definition requires not using the darknet (although NickM might point out any transfer of money would use a darknet).

  • Eric

    Reminds me of a line from The Princess Bride:

    Because iocane comes from Australia, as everyone knows, and Australia is entirely peopled with criminals, and criminals are used to having people not trust them, as you are not trusted by me, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of you.

  • Eric

    Is “darknet” effectively a synonym for Tor?

  • Paul Marks

    The connection of crimes to the “Dark Net” is an excuse for governments (nationally and internationally) to impose more control (censorship) of the internet.

    What is sold as “preventing children getting raped and murdered” will end up as people arguing for less government spending being forced off the internet.

    It is an old tactic.

    Sir Robert Walpole got censorship of the theatre through the House of Commons by showing Parliament a terrible play….

    The play advocated rape, murder, incest (and on and on) – Walpole knew it did because he-had-it-written.

    The real reason for censorship was Walpole’s desire to have a weapon against political dissent.

    History repeats itself – as long as people are ignorant.