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Sound investment advice

From the Spectator:

If you had purchased £1000 of Northern Rock shares one year ago it would now be worth £4.95, with HBOS, earlier this week your £1000 would have been worth £16.50, £1000 invested in XL Leisure would now be worth less than £5, but if you bought £1000 worth of Tennents Lager one year ago, drank it all, then took the empty cans to an aluminium re-cycling plant, you would get £214. So based on the above statistics the best current investment advice is to drink heavily and re-cycle.

This is from two weeks ago, so adjust for the financial turmoil since… the advice still stands.

10 comments to Sound investment advice

  • llamas

    Er – nonsense.

    £1000 of Tennents lager is about 500×500 ml cans – more or less.

    Each can weighs about 15 grams, so 500 cans weigh 7500 grams or 7.5 kilograms. With aluminum can scrap fetching between £0.70 and £1.40 per kilogram in the UK (depending upon the state of the material), that’s between £5.25 and £10.50-worth of aluminum scrap. The math in the US is similar – it’s between $12 and $18-worth of aluminum.

    No fact-checkers at The Spectator, then?

    As another commenter at The Spectator has already noted, this is a rehash of a similarly-incorrect piece of netlore from severla years ago, only that one was denominated in dollars and referred to signal US market failures like Enron.



  • the other rob

    Notwithstanding llamas’ fact checking, one can’t help feeling that the missing example is: “and if you had invested £1000 in home improvements, then agents of the state would have forced their way into your home to inspect it and then ass-raped you for extra taxes due to the added value”.

  • naman

    Interestingly enough, I received the American version of this joke. The company names and beer were replaced with American counterparts (and currency was in US dollars).

  • Kevin B

    Can you get a new liver on e-bay for £200?

  • Ivan

    Different versions of this joke were popular 6-7 years ago in the wake of the dotcom bubble and the Enron bust. Here in Canada, their favorite target was Nortel. Here you can find some concrete numbers, but I don’t know how reliable they are:

  • I think there’s a decimal point missing somewhere Adrianna, the cans would be worth something like £2, not £200.

  • bobby b

    Sheesh, people, it’s a joke.

    (Precisely accurate or not, the joke has always been a humorous comment in an equity-shorting environment.)

  • Yep, bobby b, that’s exactly what it was meant to be.

  • Julissa

    Of course, the joke was interesting and humorous. I do expect much more different versions. What do you think about the best current investment advice suggested?

    Make Money

  • This does sound like interesting advice. Depending on one’s personal finances, one may be able to invest in a few different types of investments ranging from preferred stocks to OTCs. Thanks for sharing.