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Khalid Sheikh Mohammad transcript

You have all heard excerpts from Khalid’s testimony… now you can
read the transcript.

Personally I think burying him up to his neck in a pig sty and leaving him there until he dies of excrement ingestion would be the minimum level of punishment he deserves.

22 comments to Khalid Sheikh Mohammad transcript

  • Midwesterner

    Dale, if you know pigs, that is not what he would die of. All the same, I think you would find your plan satisfactory.

  • Dale Amon

    Hey, I’m a results oriented type of guy. What can I say?

  • Nick M

    I almost emailed Perry about this. While it is certainly the case that KSM is an utter scumbag what amuses me more is that he appears to have confessed to everything bad ever done with the possible exception of the Great Fire of Chicago.

    Frankly he know’s he’s as fucked as a Bankok whore on a payday just before a major Thai bank-holiday so he’s ‘fessed up to everything to look like a big-hard jihadi rather than the sleazy git he really is.

    Yup, KSM was on that grassy knoll in Dallas in ’63.

    He drove the fabled white Uno through the Paris Underpass in ’97.

    Guess who faked the moon-landings?

    Anyway, this got me thinking. What is the most outrageous fake confession you folk can think of? I’ll set the ball rolling. I locked little Jimmy Krankie in a tumble-dryer in May 1985 and didn’t let her out for over two hours.

    I didn’t turn the machine on. That would have been murder which is something KSM seems to know more about than me. Second-hand though it may be.

    Like all the rest of you, I saw his disheveled carcass being hauled out of the flat in Pakistan and I just don’t believe he looked like the sort to carry out the beheading of Daniel Pearl. Order it, perhaps, but not actually do it.

    Dale, much though I think your idea for KSM’s fate is a laudable try I have some other ideas for putting jihadis to death. Please ask if you wish to know.

  • Midwesterner

    Nick M,

    Read my first comment again and then think ‘halal’, and then think if certain digestive by-products from sus scrofa domesticus are elgible for the virgins.

    I think Dale’s plan actually suits your goals quite well.

  • A drive by commenter

    The confession of one being tortured is only as detailed as the imagination of the torturer/interrogator.

    With but a bit of copper wire and a cigarette lighter, in the right hands, any one of you would confess to anything.

    Is KSM a rotter. Most likely.

    And that’s the only certainty there is in this instance.

    Thank you for your kind attention.

  • Julian Taylor

    I notice there is no confession to arranging the assassination of Princess Diana and Dodi Fayed. Can we have a suitably amended statement please and would the Marines please stand on the other hand this time – it makes it so hard for the man to sign the paper with crushed fingers.

  • A driveby commenter

    VERY briefly.

    Governments lie as easily and as naturally as we breath. The Bush administration has proved to be no exception.

    What reason have we to believe there is a sudden outbreak unimpeachable veractiy from them now, concerning the “confessions” of KSM?

  • Dale Amon

    Midwesterner: I think I would go with your amendment. However I would want to make sure it was slow enough for a full reading of all 3000 names from WTC and the several hundred from Bali and other places.

    A bullet in the back of his head is simply too kind for this bit of decomposing excrement.

  • Nick M


    My 3am ideas for these creatures are all definitely not halal. It disgusts me that I can think of doing such things but something crossed-over in me on 9/11 and nothing I have seen since has made it want to cross-back.

    9/11 wasn’t a “wake-up call” for me because I already knew enough about militant Islam to despise it. 9/11 was more of a rallying cry. Gondor lit the beacon that day and I felt the Rohirrim were about to ride.

    I want victory for our nations and philosophy and I want the Islamic world to change and cease to be the cess-pit it has become but I can’t forget Beslan, Madrid, Bali and 7/7 and sometimes, even more than victory, I just want revenge.

    Horrible isn’t it, to be able to hate so much?

  • Midwesterner

    Nick M, on a (hopefully brief) serious note, you know from my other comments elsewhere what my real opinions are about us commiting these kinds of acts and I admit that my opposition to these forms of violence is purely a selfish one. I don’t want to be, or live among, people who would actually do the things we are talking about.

    However, when a group of people uses their ideology to wage their war on us, I think to the extent we can do it within our principles, we can use their ideology to wage war back on them. To that end, if by cremating or feeding the deceased terrorists to pigs causes them to forfeit paradise in their ideology, then I think we should do every thing we can to make sure they don’t reach paradise and make sure potential terrorists know what we will do to the bodies of dead ones.

    On a much lighter note (but in a similar vein) my aunts lived in Indonesia on the island of Borneo during most of the advance of Islam inland. You may know what third world busses are like. They seriously fill up the roofs with passengers and packages. One day one of my aunts is riding on such a bus. She realizes something warm is dripping on her. She sees the man next to her, a muslim, who is receiving the same ‘baptism’ becoming completely hysterical and about that time realizes what the warm liquid is. Pig urine from a crated animal on the roof. She was quite chagrined by the very un-Christian amount of glee she felt (in spite of her own like treatment) by his misfortune. Years later she still giggled at the recollection.

  • A much lighter note indeed:-)

  • Sunfish

    I’d set him loose and introduce him to one of those virgins. Some candle light, Barry White records, glass of wine, silk sheets etc.

    And ten seconds before he, um, reaches gratification, I’d gut-shoot him.

    With my ammunition rubbed in bacon grease.

  • Nick M

    Without the shooting I’d quite like Sunfish’s version of Guantanamo Bay.

    I apreciate we should be using their ideology against them and I think mistake #1 in the War on Terror was to attempt to portray these scumbags as very bad people who just happen to be muslim. I think this was absolutely wrong and I thought so at the time. I think this is especially the case because almost any action we took would be seen as anti-Islamic by muslims anyway. So if they’re going to hate us anyway, we might as well get some advantage from it. I suspect Bush & Blair just look at religion as a “good thing” and don’t distinguish between religions hence all that “religion of peace” nonsense.

    Your annecdote illustrates a key difference between Christianity (which sees a nobility in suffering and forebearance) with Islam which doesn’t really have the same concept. On a similarly line, what do you think would have happened if Robert Mapplethorpe had produced “Piss Mohammed” rather than “Piss Christ”?

    I further suspect that very few people in the UK or US governments know (even now) that much about Islam. I suspect they think it’s a bit like Christianity with different food, nice tiles and very expensive rugs (I hope Cherie doesn’t take a fancy to one!) The extent to which all sides conflate race, religion and culture is staggering. Sometimes they do this to further an agenda and sometimes it’s just muddled thinking.

    I don’t see us winning this war until we appreciate it’s at least as much an ideological confrontation as a military or policing issue. I think it odd that the inmates at Gitmo get Korans and prayer times called out on the speakers. I don’t recall each German PoW in WWII receiving a copy of Mein Kampf or captured Soviet agents getting the Complete Works of Lenin Box Set (although that would be torture enough). I have actually read some Lenin and it’s turgid stuff – he was by all accounts a crushing bore. My wife has seen Lenin and she said it looks like “they stuffed an accountant”.

    Much has already been said on this thread about the porcine execution of terrorists. Well, can anybody confirm if this story about Gen. Pershing is true?

  • Terry Wrist

    So if KSM has confessed to 9-11, doesn’t this put OBL in the clear? Surely there can’t be two “masterminds”. One does so despair of an administration that can’t get its story straight.

  • Nick M

    They’re both just second echelon operatives. It’s Professor Moriaty who is clearly behind all of this. The whole idea of Bond villian evil-geniuses is patronising nonsense that the likes of Bush and Blair use because they don’t think we can take the truth (or because they’ve convinced themselves that this will all end when Team America and Mr Bond parachute into the extinct volcano).

    Let’s face it: terrorists use very simple military tactics, 9/11 cost about $500,000 and that was the apex of their sophistication. You can make a bomb with stuff you can buy at the local chemists. Quasem rockets cost next to nothing and get built in basements in Gaza. As far as the technical and tactical qualities are concerned these people are less sophisticated than many hobbyists and back-shed inventors.

    So why isn’t the Gaza strip full of people building R/C planes or Tesla coils or models of the Al-Aqsa Mosque in matchsticks? It’s because they have political, social, religious and economic grievances and because of the nature of the overarching Islamic ideology in which these grievances are conceived they believe they’re engaged in some vast cosmic struggle against the forces of evil and therefore express themselves in the most explosive manner possible.

    The root of the problem isn’t restive poor muslims, or masterminds, or nutty imams “radicalizing” the youth it is quite simply that fundamentalist Islamic ideology is viscous, backward and tends to see jihad as the only way forward. Salafi Islam is a meme virus and it’s spreading.

  • Midwesterner

    I found this quote from the 1938 book to be worthy of note. This is what it said happened in response to Colonel Alexander Rodgers of the 6th Cavalry using the tactic attributed to Pershing.

    The juramentados were replaced by the amucks. .. who were simply homicidal maniacs with no religious significance attaching to their acts.

    Running amok derives from the malay word for going into a rage. In a different thread I mentioned one of my aunts donning a red bandanna for a motor bike ride and causing great consternation. It is because in the place where she was living, you wore a red piece of cloth to signify that you were ‘amok’, or in a rage.

    The bottom line is we can only achieve anything if we stop focusing on (non-existent) individuals and focus our efforts against the generators of the terrorists. This is similar to your approach, Nick, except that I look at many religions that have been able to grow past seemingly insurmountable ideological barriers (notably Judaism) and become not just tolerant, but highly beneficial contributors to the progress of our ideals. (Some time I would like to hear some credible historian of Judaic law explain it. Links, anyone?)

    For this reason, I think we need to focus our actions against the funders, trainers, and shelterers of the terrorists. This is what we were doing in Afghanistan before it became an extension of the war on drugs. Some how, this admin doesn’t seem to be able to get anything right.

  • Nick M


    I didn’t realise that was the origin of “Running amok” and though I had read that about Col Rodgers but I dismissed it as a joke along the lines of something from Carry on up the Kyhber. If you haven’t seen it, do.

    …(notably Judaism) and become not just tolerant, but highly beneficial contributors to the progress of our ideals.>/em>

    Is that perhaps why the muslims are so down on the Jews?

    While I think the war on drugs is a distraction I do wonder to what extent the Taliban etc use drug money to fund themselves. If they do then they probably don’t do the opium farming themselves but extort cash from those who do. We could enable the farmers to arm themselves against the Taliban from their heroin proceeds and let them run the stuff into Iran in order to get the Ayatollah’s wonderland perpetually bombed out of it’s collective boxes rather than making bombs.

    That’s Machiavellian and probably amoral but it would wind up Mr Armanidinnerjacket something chronic.

    And there’s going to have to be some sort of reckoning with the “Man at C&A” sometime soon.

    But then I did play a lot of Alpha Centauri – Civ’s deeply amoral sequel.

    (I heard a very similar idea around here a bit back so I’m not taking either credit or blame for it).

  • Bernie

    This might invite a few flames and maybe even deserves a few. I don’t know anything at all about this guy. Never heard of him before reading the original post. I downloaded the pdf. When I opened it I saw that the location for this happening was the concentration camp in Cuba where the inmates have no rights whatsoever and may never get out. At that point I disregarded the rest of the file without reading it.

  • Sunfish

    Nick M:

    That’s the difference between “Guantanamo Bay: Place to keep suspected terrorists where they can’t file stuff at the US District Court clerk’s office” and “Guantanamo Bay: Tourism Capital of (free and stinking rich) Cuba.”

    I have high hopes for the latter to come about shortly after Castro’s appointment to explain his misdeeds to St. Peter. Although I find that, in my 30’s, neither virgins nor Barry White hold any interest for me. 33-year-old single moms, OTOH…

    Now, to be serious for once…

    I don’t like confessions as evidence. Even under the best of conditions, people lie. They lie for attention. They lie to divert the blame away from someone else. They lie, frankly, when the truth might serve them better. Look at the assclown John Mark Carr, who claimed to have killed JonBenet Ramsey in Boulder, Colorado, most of a decade ago. Who the hell would claim to have committed capital murder if he didn’t do it? Nevertheless, there it is.

    Give me a huge pile of circumstantial evidence. Give me someone who saw KSH in person with Muhammad Atta. Show me a bank statement indicating that KSH paid for the 9-11 airline tickets, or ordered someone else to do it. I LOVE big piles of circumstantial evidence:

    Actually, circumstantial evidence and confessions go well together, and that’s what we appear to have with KSH. But I don’t like all the classified crap. That’s no way to run a court with any pretense of fairness or justice, by preventing the accused from seeing evidence or examining witnesses. That odor of “cover-up” is tainting what looks to me like an otherwise-legitimate arrest and prosecution. Even though it probably is just an odor, it’s not helping the accuser’s credibility.

  • Dale Amon

    Keep in mind that Khalid ‘Piece of Pigshit’ Sheikh Mohammad has not gone to trial, hearing or anything else, nor has his statement been used in a court of law. He has merely gone through an adminstrative process to decide how to classify him.

    There will be very different proceedings when this scumbag gets his Nuremberg day.

    I hope we give him a completely fair trial before we shoot his balls and other appendages to pieces. Or hang him. It will be one or the other.

    He will not go before a district court in DC in any case. I do not seem to remember calls to try Goering and Goebbels there, or any of the Japanese leaders who were likewise executed… although not nearly enough in that case. There are Japs still alive who took part in horrendous ‘medical’ experiments with biological and chemical weapons using Chinese for subjects. At least we hung all of the Nazi criminals.

    I fully expect (and hope) any al Qaeda we get our hands on, if they are still breathing after our soldiers are done with them, gets a stout rope in Guantanamo.

    I know it is against the Geneva Conventions or something, but I really wish we could have live TV and a viewing stand where victims can buy pork sausages and throw them at the pigs as they walk to their noose.

    Like the Iraqi’s did with their head pig. They had the right idea how to treat this sort. Or the Italians with Mussolini. I think he was hanging in public until he stunk more than his life history did.

  • Nick M

    Yeah, I know. People make the wierdest stuff up. Just look at that nut-job “20th hijacker” and fantasy-jihadi.

    I once had an argument with a lesbian-feminist who claimed that no woman would ever invent a bogus rape claim. Well, I knew better. I knew a lad who spent three months in jail because some deranged cow claimed he’d raped her. Everyone on the med course knew that she was demented and had been stalking him. He said that she made this up out of spite when for the umpteenth time he turned her down. I believed him. The entire medical faculty of Nottingham University (approx. 50% female) believed him and vociferously attempted to defend him but still he was remanded for three months in chokey which is an absolutely hilarious position to be in if you’re a suspected “sex-offender”.

    Now here’s the kicker – there was no forensic evidence that he’d ever laid as much as a finger on her. Furthermore there was no forensics that she’d had sex (forced or otherwise) with anybody that night (she reported sufficiently after the “attack” that medical examination was deemed irrelevant). The whole thing was based entirely on her accusation and it took his solicitor three months to discover this fact.

    After that the case was thrown out. He was released and had to skip a year at med-school. She was kicked out of med-school and was last heard of being in psychiatric care. I don’t know if she had “issues” or was just pretending she had to avoid a civil suit.

    BTW. It was me on the grassy knoll in November ’63. Report me directly to the Texas State Attorney. Just gloss over the fact I was born in ’73. I mean, obviously I used a time machine. Or better yet get over here and get me pro-actively because I’ve got to re-polarise the dilithium crystals and won’t be able to shoot Kennedy until Tuesday next week at the earliest. If I can find my posidrive I’m also planning on driving a white Fiat Uno through a Parisian underpass in August ’97 next Friday. On Sunday I’ve got to sell theatre tickets to a guy called Abe. It just never ends.