How many Islamists does it take to change a lightbulb?
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None.
They prefer to live in the dark ages.
Q: How many libertarians does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None, the invisible hand will do it.
How many Bill Gates does it take to change a lightbulb?
None. He changes the rules to make darkness the standard.
How many guitarists does it take to change a lightbulb?
Ten, one to do it and nine to stand around with their arms folded saying `yeah I could do that’.
How many dyslexics does it take to change a lhigty blub?
How many Islamists does it take to change a lightbulb?
What’s a light bulb?
None. They’d sooner sit in the dark and blame the Jews.
How many Derry woman does it take to change a lightbulb?
None. They form a support group to help each other learn how to deal with the darkness.
How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?
One—but the bulb has to really want to change.
Twenty Three Islamists…
One to issue a blood-chilling rant blaming the original bulb blowing on a Zionist Conspiracy.
An ayatollah* to produce a fatwa based upon the Koran and the Hadith declaring that the use of such Crusader devices is halal (as long as they are used against the enemies of the Umma).
A third to change the bulb (while screaming “Allah Mazda!”)
Another twenty to dance around, chanting threats and firing AK-47s into the air in celebration of this Great Islamic Achievement. Incidentally, a stray bullet shatters the new bulb and we’re back to the first stage – ad infinitum…
*or mullah, imam, mahdi, sheik, emir, “community leader” or failing those any other self-appointed gobshite.
Q: How many Islamists does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Just one to hold the bulb in place while the rest of the world revolves around them.
Q: How many Islamists does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Infinite: Nothing ever changes in Islam.
Also:
Q: How many Programmers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None, it’s a hardware problem.
Islamists? Lightbulbs? I have no idea.
How many Samizdata authors does it take to fix your Trackback system?
Q:How many Islamists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: One, as long as it is Osrama bin Laden.
How many Islamists does it take to change a lightbulb?
—As many as it takes to blow it up.
A: None. A dhimmi can do it as part of the jyzia.
A: None. The bulb will change by itself, Allah willing.
A: None. If the first two answers fail, Western socialists will take pity upon them and organize a comitte in order to start a very inefficient program to change the bulb supported by Western tax payers (at gun point).
A: None. If the Western socialists fail (most probable outcome), the light bulb is declared haram by multiple fatwas.
A: None. 100 years after the light bulb is declared haram, Western dhimmi revisionist historians declare that Muslims were the first to invent the light bulb, and that all the above answers are nothing more than right-wing propaganda designed to further oppress the noble savages/overlords.
One… as long as he has a copy of, and is good enough with photoshop to clone it in
How many Irishmen does it take to change a lightbulb?
Ten. One to actually change it, nine to sing about how much they miss the old one.
The lightbulb is not blown! This is a zionist plot to say the lightbulb has blown!
ULULULULULULUL
How many Freudian psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?
Two.
One to change the bulb and one to hold my penis, I mean my mother, I mean the stepladder!
Q. How many members of an indeterminite ethnic minority does it take to change a lightbulb?
A. n, where n is any real, positive integer. 1 person to unscrew the bulb and
(n-1) to behave in a stereotypical ethnic manner.
Q: How many Islamists does it take to change a lightbulb?
A. None. That work is done by Filipinos.
How many magicians does it take to change a light bulb?
Depends on what you want it changed into.
How many members of an indeterminite ethnic minority does it take to change a lightbulb?
None. When the light bulbs burn out, move to another apartment before the rent comes due. Note that allegation this is based on personal experience of a property owning friend.
How many Irishmen does it take to change a lightbulb?
26. One to hold the bulb and 25 to drink until the room spins.
How many Extropians does it take to change a light bulb?
None, they just wait with boundlessly expanding anticipation and dynamic optimism for the nano-santa to spontaneously reorganize the filament into an intelligent technology that knows when to be on, when to be off, and when to change itself.
How many Free Staters does it take to change a light bulb?
None, they all conclude the darkness is a government plot, and move to New Hampshire, where the burning light of Reason still shines brightly, and individuals are still free to make their own damn bulbs that last forever because they aren’t regulated by the government or part of the Dimminati Conspiracy of the Cheap Bulbs.
Q. How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Fish
How many bloggers does it take to change a light bulb?
A blogger sees the light bulb is out and posts on it. Glenn Reynolds links, and 6,000 follow the Instalanche. Atrios directs a “dim bulb” joke at President Bush. Daily Kos blames Karl Rove and/or the IDF. LGF responds by linking to reports about Palestinian destruction of light bulbs. Andrew Sullivan rants about how light bulbs are used as torture devices at Gitmo, and is linked (once again) by Shrill Blog. Rand Simberg and Jay Manifold blog on light pollution, and Eugene Volokh muses on the legal implications thereof. Samizdata enters a post on light bulbs and free markets, illustrated with a photo of Adriana, gazing at a light bulb while a thought bubble filled with half a dozen currency symbols hovers over her head. Michael J. Totten, the most widely-traveled of all bloggers, goes out and changes the light bulb.
How many ADD children does it take to change a light bulb?
Want to go ride bikes?
Q: How many appraisers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: How many do you want?
How many neocons does it take to change a light bulb?
First, Ann Coulter notices how the radical left moonbats broke the light bulb during one of their protests, Peter Schweizer publishes documents showing Michael Moore holds stock in Sylvania and Phillips, and Shaun Hannity puts ATM security cameras showing the bulb was broken by a muslim wearing a T-shirt showing Che Guevara and Osama bin Laden smoking a bone together, with the motto “FUGB”. Then President Bush declares light bulb breakers “vicious evildoers” taught by Islamofascists to destroy the Enlightenment, and orders Homeland Security to get to the bottom of the story. NSA spies on a muslim emailing a picture of the Statue of Liberty to his cousin in Karachi, and immediately raises the threat warning color to red, predicting an imminent attack on the lightbulbs in the torch of the statue. This of course causes ten school groups to cancel trips to the Statue of Liberty, which ticks off the kids that they have to stay at school doing fractions instead, and they organize a national grassroots movement to change lightbulbs…
Trackback is gone for good as we were getting in the region of 200 spambacks for every legitimate trackbacks and it was just gumming up the system. Trackback was a great idea but until someone fixes the spam problem, a high volume site like us is just too much of a spam magnet for it to work.
The answer has to be none – you blow up the infidel house that dares to be Western and have electricity installed.
Best lightbulb joke I ever heard was,
How many Reuters journalists does it take to photoshop a light bulb?
How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Two, but how you’d get them in there in the first place, I don’t know.
OK, let’s count these up….
Five to kidnap the lightbulb
One to write out the script
Four to hold the guns at the light bulb
One to videotape the light bulb’s public conversion to Islam
One to deliver it to Hamas TV (now in hi-def!) for broadcast
One to serve as PM yet be a known jihadi mobster dealing with the kidnappers and not press charges against the kidnappers, yea, even making it into a phot op to receive the light bulb’s gratitude
But did the light bulb really change? I mean, the public conversion to Islam was coerced at gunpoint. Broadcast Koran quotes notwithstanding.
Better to shoot the light bulb. There’s rolling blackouts anyway, and it’s an invention of the infidel. Make sure we have enough lamp oil.
is quiz net haram or halal?