We are developing the social individualist meta-context for the future. From the very serious to the extremely frivolous... lets see what is on the mind of the Samizdata people.

Samizdata, derived from Samizdat /n. - a system of clandestine publication of banned literature in the USSR [Russ.,= self-publishing house]

Osama bin an Idiot

It seems that the great audio-tape recorder maker has been at it again, casting aspersions and making threats from his luxurious cave in the better parts of the Pakistani badlands.

Apparently Sudan is preying on the old boy’s mind. One would have thought that anyone that the ghastly regime there wanted to kill would be dead by now, but just in case the UN make sure of it by sending a force to help out, Osama is going to rally the faithful against them.

I call on Mujahedin and their supporters, especially in Sudan and the Arab peninsula, to prepare for long war again the crusader plunderers in Western Sudan

Hmm. Geography was never my strongest suit, but I must confess I was bemused to see ‘plunder’ and ‘Western Sudan’ together in the same sentence. Osama, as an old Sudan hand, should be aware of this. Perhaps he’s losing his grip?

41 comments to Osama bin an Idiot

  • Verity

    Dead people don’t have a grip.

  • “They send their sons to armies to fight us and they continue their financial and moral support while our countries are burned and our houses are bombed and our people are killed.”

    Hmmm, and this with the media and the lions share of Europe, Africa, Asia, et al against us…fighting with a few percent of the troops we had in Vietnam, and with our hands tied behind our backs by socalled allies and moonbats.

    I don’t think he really wants us to see what we could do with true anger and a bit of will.

    Dear WetSpotOnACaveWall

    – Your best strategy is low intensity sniping (which doesn’t win anything) and high intensity use of the moonbat media (which bore people to tears after a while). Another attack like 911 gets you more trouble than you need…hows livin’ in a cave, anyway?

  • Verity

    Papa Moonbat is not livin’ in a cave ‘coz he be daid. And if you don’t believe me, Mark Steyn also thinks he’s mold.

  • Nick M

    Shame if he has croaked it. I’d like to claim the 25M bones before the USD slides any further… And the opportunity to stick a Koran sideways up his…

    (best stop there –ed.)

    Have I been living on a different planet, but isn’t the whole Darfur stuff about ethnically Arab muslims killing ethnically black African muslims? Quite where Crusaders (and the inevitable Zionists) fit into this whole sorry mess is beyond me. Are AQ & OBL reduced to inventing totally imaginary causes? I suspect they’re mighty pissed because they’ve been sidelined as players in the Iraqi insurgency. Islamist groups these days – they last about as long as boy-bands!

    Surely, I’ve been on a different planet from the camel-pokers…

    Planet Islam – come for the Intifada, stay for the Jihad

  • I’m not convinced he is dead. Mark Steyn’s analyses can be patchy. Take his opinions on the future of Russia, most notably Siberia.

  • Verity

    I think he’s sound on this Islamic crap, though, James. But I agree, once he moves away from the US, Canada, the UK and terrorists, his grasp sometimes fails. Nevertheless, the mind boggles at what he does manage to encompass and be right about. And then finds time to analyse lyricists – and do it most entertainingly!

    I share his belief that Osama bin Daid is no longer with us, and the theory that al-Qeda has turned wispy. Just strands, threads, little patches here and there, but there doesn’t seem to be one driving force any more.

  • Nick M

    AQ hasn’t been an “organisation” as such since the fall of the Taliban. It only really existed as such for a short period of time – from the late 90s to the back-end of 2001.

    AQ has become something more ethereal. It has become an idea. A rallying point for muzzies who are disaffected.

    It is gone, but the idea remains. I suspect OBL was smart enough to realise that he’d shot his bolt with 9/11 when it became obcious that the US was in a fightin’ mood. The whole point of the 9/11 attacks was to encourage the myriad disparate groups of Islamic nutters to aim higher.

    It differs from earlier terrorism caused by muslims (eg the PLO). Previously, Islamic terrorism was generally localised and about specific causes, post 9/11 the bin Laden doctrine that you go straight to the butcher and not the block has caught on big-time. Before 9/11 Islamic groups mainly saw their own governments as their enemy, or Israel directly. After 9/11 increasing numbers of them have come round to OBL’s raised-stakes game of targeting “The West” directly. Before AQ, Islamic terrorism had a very strong leftist political/social agenda (even Khomeini made claims of a socialist utopia which, of course, were never realised). After AQ the focus is on millenarian, Salafi*, nihilism.

    *A strong movement within conservative Islam which regards the Umma’s woes as being the result of moving away from the harsh life-style of Mohammed and his companions. It’s pretty much the same as Wahhabism to all intents and purposes.

  • Millie Woods

    Am I mistaken or didn’t the living Osama need regular dialysis and if Osama is still among us how’s he getting his regular needs attended to in the cave dwellings.
    Is the WHO on to how emergency cave dialysis operates successfully in the Pakistani hinterland and when are they going to share this knowledge with the rest of the world?

  • Verity

    Nick – the current wave of Islamonutter violence began when the Iranians – them again! – seized the American embassy in 1979 and killed American citizens. Then the Islamics bombed the US Marine barracks in Lebanon, I think in ’83. Then there was the Achille Lauro and a hijacked plane. Around the same time, the Gadaffi hijack and plane crash over Lockerbie. Then the first attempt on the WTC (which, although it “failed” nevertheless killed over 1,000 souls), then the Israeli embassy in Argentina, then the second WTC followed by Bali, Madrid and London. Then cartoon rage.

    But I don’t believe it is being driven by Osama bin Daid or any notional henchmen. Gosh, I certainly hope those folks that adhere to religion of peace never take it into their heads to get violent.

  • I don’t think Bin Laden is dead. At least he recently offered to give himself up.

  • Verity

    rantingkraut – Why doesn’t that work on my computer?

  • J

    “Then the first attempt on the WTC (which, although it “failed” nevertheless killed over 1,000 souls”

    Really? I thought it caused a lot of smoke and destroyed a good few cars – plenty of smoke inhalation injuries, but fewer than 10 dead, as far as I recall.

  • >Why doesn’t that work on my computer?

    Don’t know, but you could try:
    http://www.boreme.com/boreme/z-viral-tools/download.php?id=6252&page=1

    Or go to http://www.boreme.com and search the site for ‘bin Laden’.

  • Verity

    J – Yes, I was shocked to read that figure as well, and regret that I didn’t note where I’d read it. But I think I’ve read it more than once because it’s lodged firmly in my mind. It surely wouldn’t have been known as a failed attempt if it had killed 1,000 in one fell swoop, though. You’re right. It cannot be correct.

  • About the WTC figure, Wikipedia gives 6 fatalities and around 1000 injuries here:

    On February 26, 1993 at 12:17 PM, a Ryder truck filled with 1,500 pounds (682 kg) of explosives was planted by Ramzi Yousef and detonated in the underground garage of the North Tower, opening a 100 foot (30 m) hole through 4 sublevels of concrete. Six people were killed and over a thousand injured.

    Verity: I tried to send an alternative link but this seems to have fallen foul of the spam protection. Try going to the boreme homepage and search for ‘bin laden’ you can then use the download option if the plug-in doesn’t work.

  • Uain

    rantingkraut-
    Quite entertaining!

    Verity-
    It could be a cookie handling issue or maybe your Flash Player needs an update.

    I too suspect old Osama, or what was left of him, has been at cave temperature for some time now. I recall how the gaunt images of him released in late 2001 were followed by videos of a sleek and younger looking OBL. Not very convincing.

  • Nick M

    Verity,
    I stand by what I said in that Islamic terrorism has changed. It has changed from being essentially left-driven political terrorism aimed at fairly specific goals into a general inchoate rage against all kufr, but generally The West, and especially America. The Iranians are nut-jobs, but a different kinda nut-jobs, playing a longer and cleverer game. They have to because Shia muslims form a distinct minority of the Umma.

    The Iranian revolution was in many ways a switch-point – I’ll agree with you on that. It was a political movement to get rid of a nasty and corrupt regime. The Ayatollah provided leadership and a rallying point. Many sided with him tactically, just as many Germans sided tactically with Hitler in 1933. Alas, extremists play for keeps and use their tactical position to just stay put and do whatever they want.

    I’ll make a two-year prediction. Sunni terrorists, inspired by AQ, will turn to the East. They’ll hit Japan and China and (if they can – considering what a buttoned-down place it is) Singapore.

  • It is amazing that these pathetic audio tapes from Osama are still getting play across the national airwaves. He just says the same crap over and over again. In reality, he’s been hiding in a cave for years and has lost any power he may have had.

  • Nick M

    Shawn,
    True. Perhaps, in a way, it’s appropriate justice. Except the people who are probably laughing loudest at OBL’s plight are his rivals and replacements: al-Zarqawi and al-Sadr in Iraq. Ah, the hydra of Islam… don’t ya just love it?

  • Verity

    Uain – Cave temperature! V good! Yes, a sleeker, younger, jauntier OBL. Perhaps Torah Borah has curative powers, like Lourdes.

    Shawn – He hasn’t been “hiding in a cave for years”. The Americans got him. Who is supporting him in this cave if he has lost all his power (which dead people tend to do)? Who hauled the dialysis equipment up the mountain, strangely undetected by American surveillance?

    Nick M – Although, according to the late, great OBL, they are attracted to the strong horse, they’ll hit the weak horse.

    Hit China and the response would be unrestrained. America would hold back out of respect for innocent human life. China would not. I know nothing about Japan’s military capabilities, or even if they have yet been allowed to build up any, so I cannot comment. But you attack Singapore, and although they don’t have the bomb, so far as we know … their revenge would be ruthless. They are Chinese too, don’t forget. And they have one of the most powerful, up-to-date, best trained militaries in the world. Trained by the Israelis, incidentally, for just such a happenstance.

    Plus, attack Singapore and before the bombs had hit Orchard Road, the Australian Airforce would be in the air.

    Sorry, Nick, your scenario is just too unrealistic. They will hit the weak and appeasing nations who will not dare assert themselves with appropriate responses and have, in any event, divested themselves of the means to defend themselves. In a word, Europe.

  • Billll

    My money says he’s the jelly in a rock sandwich, somewhere in the Tora Boras. He has sons in the biz, and I’m sure some of them sound like him on a badly done audiotape. I’m surprised someone promenent in the govt or media hasn’t taken that position and challenged him to appear with a recent newspaper, on video.

  • Verity

    How many sons in the biz, Billl? Twenty? Thirty? Note to the civilised world: We really do need to get rid of this breeding system.

    He wouldn’t appear – if alive, which he is not – he would not respond to a challenge to show himself. Why should he? Why should he diminish the uncertainty and the mystery?

    They’ll target Europe. Except for France, a piece of cake.

  • Nick M

    Verity,
    Japan is militarily capable enough. If Singapore doesn’t have nukes they will know exactly where to get one by return flight of a C-17.

    Europe hasn’t seen the last of them. Islam is playing a slower game in Europe though. In Europe Islamic intimidation is lower-key and more pervasive. They’ll pretty much stick with that because it has worked so well. Yeah, they’ll whack us if we stick our head above the parapet. Especially as it proved so successful a tactic with Spain. I’d be seriously pissed with the Spaniards if it wasn’t for the UK’s own total dhimmitude. I suspect they’ll be gunning for France big time. The forced revelation of girls faces will tempt them to reveal commuters intestines.

    Of course, the Chinese, Japanese and Singaporese will hit the buggers with extreme prejudice. Perhaps, that’s what they want. It can act as a recruiting sergeant for them. They also want to make this whole thing as global as possible. East Asia use lots of oil, the muzzies will see an opportunity there. Sunni Islamists are totally committed to the cause and do not think beyond the devine program they are a part of. Iran is a different ballgame – they’re playing the older game of establishing themselves as an untouchable regional power.

    No, I still think they’ll hit the East Asians, not least because of the destablisng effect it will have on global financial markets and the capacity such a strike has to drive the oil-price through the roof. Oil, after all is Allah’s blessing to the Arabs, and it would be almost blasphemy not to use such a gift to bring about the caliphate.

    I will admit, though, a hint of wishful thinking on my part, in my thesis. Terrible though the provocing attack may be, I’d love it if the likes of the Chinese really decided to stick the boot into the camel-jockeys…

  • GCooper

    Nick M writes:

    “Terrible though the provocing attack may be, I’d love it if the likes of the Chinese really decided to stick the boot into the camel-jockeys… ”

    I suspect they might be the only people with sufficient guts to do it. Europe and the USA won’t and ‘the great white hope’ (Russia) seems to have lost the plot entirely.

  • Nick M

    provocing

    I hang my head in shame. And so to bed…

  • Verity

    GCooper and Nick – D’accord. That’s what I was saying above. If they hit America, America would be careful about its response because it wouldn’t want to harm more people than absolutely necessary.

    Yurrop can’t do it because the only country with real military and nuclear weapons is France and they would have to sit in committee meetings with Finland and Hungary for several months before retaliating (actually, they wouldn’t; that’s the theory, though).

    Britain is ruled by the iron fist and jackboot of the Great Cowardly Appeaser Tony Blair and his henchman Jewish Lithuanian Dhimmi with huge Muslim constituency Jack Straw. (“Postal votes”, anyone? Maybe get another 20,000 printed up, just in case, Ali, there’s a good chap.) As GCooper says, Russia seems to have lost the plot. (“Sashenka! Where is that plot? How many times do I have to tell you …!”)

    The Chinese have been ruthless buggers for 5,000 or more years and it has served them well. And they are extremely intelligent, which is an attribute that many may not be able, in good faith, to apply to the Saudi Arabians and Yemenis.

    Sadly, I think the Iranians are intelligent enough to know this. They won’t attack China or any country within China’s sphere of influence. That leaves …

  • Verity

    Meanwhile, the bin Telegraph wrote: “Terrorist leader Osama bin Laden has issued ominous new threats, ..”.

    Hello? An anonymous voice on a tape issued “ominous new threats”? And The Telegraph, one of the oldest and most respected newspapers in the world doesn’t say “A tape claiming to be..”. No. They want the tabloid drama of “Osama bin Laden issued ominous [aren’t most threats ominous?] threats. No attempt to verify the provenance. For sure it was the long dead Osama. When will they begin reporting on people returning from driving through the Fens or over the Yorkshire moors and having had the side experience of being abducted by aliens? They can call it The National Telegraph Enquirer.

    What is it about brothers? The Hinduja brothers, the Barclay brothers … I dunno.

  • It wouldn’t surprise me if Al Qaeda tried to get something up and running in Xinjiang. The fundies have a strong (and not altogether unreasonable) grievance regarding the treatment of the Uyghurs by the Han Chinese. I believe the Chinese have been typically ruthless about rounding up Islamic terrorists and agitators and dispatching them post haste in the province, which should no doubt piss off the AQ types.

    There have been murmurings of explosions in Urumqi (capital of Xinjiang) in recent times, although the Chinese news outlet Xinhua would obviously not report such news unless it became impossible to deny. If these rumours are true – and they seem plausible – the counteroffensive is probably already in play.

    I wouldn’t expect the Chinese to reach beyond their borders to chase Al Qaeda – but within them they will act in an utterly unscrupulous manner against anyone trying to destabilise the state. AQ should be extremely wary about starting operations within China. In fact, I imagine they are.

  • I’m not convinced he is dead. Mark Steyn’s analyses can be patchy. Take his opinions on the future of Russia, most notably Siberia.

    If you mean his fear that China could annexe eastern Siberia at some point, I don’t think he is all that far out. Certainly, a lot of Russians (not the most un-paranoid lot, I know) are worried about the idea, and I can see why.

  • Nick M

    James,

    The Chinese have a long-term plan to “Chinese-ify” Islam in their western provinces. Basically they’re attempting to gradually change Chinese Islam into a different religion and one more tractable from Beijing’s PoV. This also, of course, splits Chinese musilims off from the rest of the umma because some of the differences are quite marked. For example, they have female imams. This is certainly more than enough to get AQ hot under the turban.

  • Nick – I don’t think AQ will find a Chinese theatre so easy to operate in as Northern Pakistan. I’m sure the Chinese are doing plenty to piss of AQ. It’ll be interesting to see how expediency plays a part in the application of their religious convictions.

    Tim Newman – I think it’s a ridiculous fear, and a crazy call to make. Consider that an enormous chunk of Russia’s export earnings come from Siberia, and that number is only set to increase. Consider also that Russia is armed to the teeth with nuclear missiles, and will no doubt continue to field a sizeable nuclear deterrent into the future. It will not tolerate the loss of Siberia.

    Irrespective of the threat of nuclear annihilation, China’s engagement with the world deepens, the possibility that it will go to war with another significant power like Russia for the purpose of conquest recedes enormously. Stealing Siberia buys China pariah status, along with all the economic and political consequences.

    China taking Siberia might make for an interesting scenario to base an airport novel on, however a serious analyst wouldn’t touch it with a bargepole.

  • I meant :

    “as China’s engagement…”

    Must proof read.

  • Verity

    What James Waterton said. (You really must proofread!) Just kidding. Your post above. Common sense and realistic.

  • Nicolas

    The only plunderers in Sudan are muslim terrorists killing off innocent black villagers.

  • Nick M

    No, Nicolas, they’re heroic mujahadeen involved in a noble jihad for the one true faith. It is a merely an unfortunate side-effect of these brave warriors’s relentless struggle that 150,000 have been killed, countless more raped and had their already meagre livelihoods destroyed. But, hey! You can’t make an ommelate without breaking eggs.

    And they are oh so brave. It takes real 4am guts to shoot defenceless, starving men, rape their wives and daughters, torch their few possesions and throw their infant children onto the fire. Such selfless bravery should never be stopped! Indeed Kofi Annan and his glorious United Nations have shown themselves to be true statesmen by giving their tacit blessing to this fine enterprise.

    Of course, there are a few bad apples involved. They are obviously the stooges of a Crusader/Zionist alliance. The West is clearly intent on taking Sudan for strategic sand purposes. It must be obvious to anyone that whoever controls that much tractless desert can control the entire planet.

  • permanent expat

    Yeah…………whatever. Tick,tick,tick…………

  • Verity

    With permanent expat … tick, tick, tick, tick, tick ….. As he says ….. ‘whatever’ ….

  • Julian Taylor

    What James Waterton said.

    Please do stop using Tom Clancy novels as a fount of international strategic policy.

  • rosignol

    Tim Newman – I think it’s a ridiculous fear, and a crazy call to make. Consider that an enormous chunk of Russia’s export earnings come from Siberia, and that number is only set to increase. Consider also that Russia is armed to the teeth with nuclear missiles, and will no doubt continue to field a sizeable nuclear deterrent into the future. It will not tolerate the loss of Siberia.

    Dunno. While I concur that Siberia is Russia’s best chance to enter the 21st century, I’m less confident in the capability of their nuclear deterrent. IIRC, there have been several excercises that were supposed to culminate in a test launch… and all of them have been botched.

    http://www.bellona.no/en/international/russia/navy/northern_fleet/incidents/32597.html

    I’ve also heard that Russia’s warning system is in such a state that a first strike by the US would have a pretty good chance of success (at a tactical/strategic level, at least. Politically, it would make Iraq look trivial in comparison). That’s got to be keeping some people up at night, and I don’t mean the ones in Cheyenne Mountain.

    I also have to wonder if a 21st century incarnation of Russia would be a good thing overall. The place seems to be backsliding of late, it’s leaders are nostalgic for the bad old days of the Soviet Union, and they’re reverting to the old ’cause problems for the Americanskis’ cold-war mode. This is not encouraging.

  • Nick M

    rosignol,
    a first strike by the US would have a pretty good chance of success
    And that’s the kinda risk you’re prepared to take? The Sov bear may’ve been largely de-clawed but, throughout successive defence cuts which left subs rotting and tanks rusting the Russian Startegic Rocket Services always got top dollar treatment.

    I also very much doubt their EW systems are anything other than highly competent.

    Wondering whether or not a C21st Russia is intrinsically a force for good or not is fantasy diplomacy. There’s 160m of them and they’ve got resources to die for. We need to engage them and if we manage the (admittedly very) difficult task of getting them on our side that would be truly sweet. They are a proud nation which has accomplished much. We ought to treat them as such because none of the alternatives are too palatable.

    Russians as our pals would be a major spoke in the wheel of the Chinese and the Islamists.

    Having said that, let’s bring the Chinese (and Indians) on board and crush the middle-east. Alas that’s not an original thought. I must hat-tip for that one to Gary Kasparov – a man (I hope you agree) who has a certain capacity for strategic thought.

  • rosignol

    rosignol,
    a first strike by the US would have a pretty good chance of success

    And that’s the kinda risk you’re prepared to take? The Sov bear may’ve been largely de-clawed but, throughout successive defence cuts which left subs rotting and tanks rusting the Russian Startegic Rocket Services always got top dollar treatment.

    …and they still haven’t had a successful missile test in years.

    Do I want to take a chance? No. But I am not confident that other parties will decide it’s worth the risk, either.

    Something that needs to be remembered is that not everyone thinks the way the US government does. As le hyperpuissance, with the world’s largest economy, strongest military, and a quite high standard of living, the US has a hell of a lot to loose, and is quite logically risk-averse where actions that might cause major uphevals in the established international order are concerned.

    That is not true of everyone. Quite a few parties stand to gain from a major upheval in the international order, and some of them may be willing to take risks the US would consider insane.

    I also very much doubt their EW systems are anything other than highly competent.

    I’ve heard too many stories of false positives from their detection system that were not responded to because the human overseeing it thought they weren’t detecting enough inbound missiles for it to be a real attack to think that.

    There’s a good reason there was never much of an export market for soviet electronics.

    Wondering whether or not a C21st Russia is intrinsically a force for good or not is fantasy diplomacy. There’s 160m of them and they’ve got resources to die for. We need to engage them and if we manage the (admittedly very) difficult task of getting them on our side that would be truly sweet. They are a proud nation which has accomplished much. We ought to treat them as such because none of the alternatives are too palatable.

    I doubt they want to be on our side. IMO, Russia’s attitude on such things has a lot in common with France’s- they are on their side, first and foremost. Same with the Chinese.

    Russians as our pals would be a major spoke in the wheel of the Chinese and the Islamists.

    IMO, that’s the fantasy.

    Having said that, let’s bring the Chinese (and Indians) on board and crush the middle-east. Alas that’s not an original thought. I must hat-tip for that one to Gary Kasparov – a man (I hope you agree) who has a certain capacity for strategic thought.

    Mm. Isn’t he the guy who wanted to sell Mongolia to China?