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Samizdata, derived from Samizdat /n. - a system of clandestine publication of banned literature in the USSR [Russ.,= self-publishing house]

Agents dispatched to California

It is over. Arnold basically has kicked in the teeth of the opposition with a margin of nearly a million votes over his nearest competitor, former Hispanic secessionist Cruz Bustamante.

Through the use of our secret Illuminati time communication technology (Codename Peabody), the Samizdata Editorial staff prepared deep cover for its two covert agents in California well ahead of time.

With a libertarian intelligence matter of such extreme importance facing us – regime change in one of the largest economies on this planet – we have unstintingly sent two of our finest undercover agents: Perry “007” deHavilland and Adriana “Lara Croft” Cronin to look into the matter.

They have left these shores and are expected to remain ‘in theatre’ for several weeks. We hope they will uncover details of the new governor’s purported Weapons of Mass Employment (WME’s).

Good luck and good hunting!

Agent 007 practices laying down protective covering fire…

…while Agent Lara handles team self-extraction from maddened hordes of LA socialists

I was given the names and details by an unnamed high Samizdata administration official who will remain unnamed but should of course be the target of a lengthy Blogosphere investigation so long as it is damaging to the administration and no one dares ask me any questions.

21 comments to Agents dispatched to California

  • Alfred E. Neuman

    Is that Perry shooting an M-4 Carbine?

  • R.C. Dean

    I believe so, although he would be well advised to knock it off with the “protective covering fire” and go with aimed fire, center of mass.

    After all, when shooting at someone, do you want to scare them, or kill them?

  • Justme

    Lara is a babe.

  • Dale Amon

    Ah, but there are those times when you simply want the conscript horde to keep their heads down while your buddy moves.

  • R.C. Dean

    Perhaps so, Dale, but nothing keeps your head down like a hole in your sternum.

  • Dave J

    As for the hordes of LA socialists, their numbers appear to have been overestimated (as I always suspected). The CA Secretary of State’s electoral map currently shows LA County having voted against recall by only 51%, radically different than, say, San Francisco’s 80+%

  • stopgo

    The great thing about the M4 is that many of them have been delivered in the ‘A1’ version… meaning FULL AUTO. None of that three-round burst crap.

    So while you’re unleashing a barrage of 5.56 fury to make your enemy wet his pants, your battle buddy can take a few moments to draw the bead and find center of mass.

    Administrative note to the Samizdata editorial staff: Please consider warning your readers the next time you choose to publish a photo of Ms. Lara in such a pose. I think I’m in love.

  • Chris Josephson

    Huh, you guys laugh. But, if anyone cares to pop over to democraticunderground.com, you’ll see there are posters suggesting some sort of ‘covert op’ as the reason Arnie won.

    No fooling. I was perusing that site this AM and saw some gerneral paranoid posts (“what did THEY do?”)
    and some specific (“It’s the Jews/Zioinists’.)

    Seems to be no way to convince the ‘true believers’ that ordinary people are fed up with how things were run in California. I can’t wait until the 2004 presidential election. THAT will be NASTY. I can’t wait to read the theories about how Bush rigged the election.

  • R.C. Dean

    stopgo, stop it, you’re cracking me up:

    . . . while you are unleashing a barrage of [poodleshooter] fury . . .

  • Alfred E. Neuman

    . . . while you are unleashing a barrage of [poodleshooter] fury . . .

    Oh no. Now you’ve done it. If this were a gun forum you’d have a flame war on your hands.

  • R.C. Dean

    Bring on the poodleshooters! If they can keep their lace panties from getting all bunched up, they might learn something from the devotees of the manly .30 caliber.

  • Adolf H. Banana

    Jesus H. Christ,

    That’s some bike. Only having experienced the illicit pleasure of doing 101 mph along the A4 between Reading and Maidenhead on a Honda CBR 600, and having fallen madly in love with Carrie-Ann Moss, in the first Matrix film after I saw her on that bike, I can only say.

    Bejesus! Gotta get me one of them monsters! 🙂

  • fnyser

    The lizard army is in place.

  • I thought I had an incriminating photo, but perhaps Adriana was just deep undercover

  • David Hall

    Yeah. That Che is so dashing. What woman wouldn’t fall for his charms? 😉

  • Funny thing in this case is, the only “THEY” up to much mischief appears to be…the DNC! Large Dem donors were told not to donate to Bustamante, and there were a WHOLE bunch of Kennedys (oops, I mean Shrivers!) behind Arnold for his acceptance speech.

  • stopgo

    R.C., Al…

    Maybe I should’ve said 5.56 “FURRY”?…

    Sorry for my underdeveloped ability to convey irony. That stuff always sounds funnier in my head. Ya know… before I type it.


  • Gray Davis probably did something at last that a majority of Californians approved of, when he conceded to Arnold, and HE DID IT IN A MOST GRACIOUS MANNER. Now that’s what’s so good about American politics, and it proves that not all of us Californians are Liberals, and it also proves that a lot of Democrats are not either.

    It also proves that the Liberal Rag’s (called the L.A. Times) deliberately timed hatchet job failed them. I’m sure it made more people sick of them and their swarmy staff.

    We not only have cross-dressers in California, but cross-overs as well. Ain’t we lucky!

  • Alfred E. Neuman


    You had better not be referencing these furries. Because unless you are a Something Awful goon, you are a sick man.

  • stopgo

    Thanks a lot, Al!!..

    now I need to go scrub my eyballs with some Comet and a Brillo pad.