Hilarious (H/T, Glenn Reynolds).
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December 21st, 2009 | One comment - (Comments are closed)
 “John, talking about a Hare Krishna group who’d been painting a little temple in the grounds of Tittenhurst Park near Ascot, which was briefly his home, was typical. “I had to sack them. They were very nice and gentle, but they kept going around saying ‘peace’ all the time. It was driving me mad.” John Lennon, as remembered by Ray Connolly. I have mixed feelings about John Lennon – who could support some strenously foolish things at times – but I loved his razer-sharp wit. September 7th, 2009 | One comment - (Comments are closed)
“An old guy’s wife tells him to go to the butcher shop and get some meat. He goes to the butcher shop and stands in line for hours. Finally the butcher says, “We’re out of meat.” The old guy blows his top. He yells, “I am a worker! I am a proletarian! I am a veteran of the Great Patriotic War! I have fought for socialism all my life, and now you tell me you’re out of meat! What kind of a system is this?! You are fools! You are thieves! . . . ” A big man in a trench coat comes up to the old guy and says, “Comrade, Comrade, not so loud. In the old days you know what they would do if you said such things.” The big man in the trench coat makes a pistol motion with his hand. He says to the old guy, “Calm down and go home.” The old guy shrugs and leaves. He comes back empty-handed, and his wife says, “What’s the matter, are they out of meat?” “Worse than that,” says the old guy, “they’re out of bullets.” An old Russian joke, as told by the one and only PJ O’Rourke. August 28th, 2009 | 17 comments - (Comments are closed)
I came across this gem of a comment by an Obama supporter – assuming the commenter was sincere and not a troll, and it is just too good to go unremarked. The comment was made on a suitably acerbic column by Matt Welch, one of those Reasonoids who have gone very sour indeed on the US president. Here is the comment: “I´m american and not angry. i´m happy with our new president. vladimir putin likes him, too. looking forward to his next 3 years as president.” Priceless. August 24th, 2009 | 5 comments - (Comments are closed)
BREAKING NEWS It has just been reported that the head gardener at The White House has been dismissed after 28 years of loyal service to the many US presidents. When interviewed the elderly, Caucasian gardener protested his innocence and said:
August 2nd, 2009 | 5 comments - (Comments are closed)
Check out this hilarious analysis of what you can infer from how people sleep after a one night stand. Was it as good for you as it was for me? June 19th, 2009 | 7 comments - (Comments are closed)
June 19th, 2009 | 8 comments - (Comments are closed)
May 13th, 2009 | 14 comments - (Comments are closed)
Via this website is a list of the ten most annoying taxes. I am not sure if I agree with the rankings, but still. The website does seem to have many attractive features (absolutely! Ed). April 14th, 2009 | 23 comments - (Comments are closed)
I must say it is about time that we found out what the South Park kids made of the bailout. This is probably not entirely work-safe. March 30th, 2009 | One comment - (Comments are closed)
There is no stated national consensus that as a country we should substantially reduce overall masturbation, but such a reduction would benefit the health of many who wank – and those affected by passive wanking- the concept I invented a few sentences ago and am now treating as a genuine problem. In 2006, 180,000 people died from pornographic-related causes. Wanking has a major impact on individual wanker’s health: it causes cancers of the liver, bowel, breast, throat, mouth, larynx and oesophagus; it causes blindness, hairy palms, a pale pallor and insanity … Some point to the potential benefits of self-pleasuring, but these tend to be greatly overstated. Despite its known harms, one-quarter of the adult population – about 10 million people – now wank above the recommended low-risk levels. I made this figure up but as the Chief Medical Officer I can cite myself because I am in a position of authority. Here is a graph to illustrate how many people are killed by masturbation. It actually represents something completely different, possibly cat food sales, but I’m guessing that most of you are actually too stupid to actually look at the graph in any detail … – some Unenlightened Commentary sadly not actually supplied by Sir Liam Donaldson (with thanks to Obnoxio the Clown) March 21st, 2009 | 3 comments - (Comments are closed)
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