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Just in: Canada will force USA to pay for a wall…

… to keep out the floods of undesirable US celebrities fleeing the USA following a Trump victory.

Just sayin’.

18 comments to Just in: Canada will force USA to pay for a wall…

  • Laird

    Well, if anyone is on the fence and looking for reason to vote for Trump, the prospect of Lena Dunham leaving the US should do the trick.

  • Richard Thomas

    If past performance is anything to go by, the border crossings will be conspicuously absent of celebrities whichever member of the current electoral freak show makes it in.

  • As a wise man once said, “If Trump was really a great negotiator, he’d build a wall on the US/Mexico border and get Canada to pay for it”.

  • Incunabulum

    Don’t forget it will also be necessary to keep out all those filthy dopers since the US is now failing to fulfill its duties (and leadership role) in the War on Drugs.

    Its amazing how much hypocrisy you can fit into a country as large as mine (America, not Canada).

  • Cal

    It’s like panto, isn’t it?

    “I’ll leave the country if X wins”.

    “Oh no you won’t”.

    “Oh yes I will”.

    “Oh no you won’t”.

    “Oh yes I will”.

    Etc. Continue until X wins and celeb stays put.

  • Mr Ed

    How many of these goons would renounce their US citizenship whether in protest, or even as a act of principle, like Tina Turner, the best-known Swiss singer since William Tell?

  • PersonFromPorlock

    So: “Dunham Ultimatum Causes Progs to Abandon Trump!”?

    Can’t imagine any other effect.

  • Douglas2

    It has been a source of frequent amusement to me that when Facebook posts and news articles bother to mention the logistics of moving to Canada, they restrict themselves to discussing legal means of immigration.

    After all, if it is so offensive to insist that immigrants to the US come via the “front door”, would it not be more consistent to alert readers to methods of formatting a plausible Canadian social-insurance number, and tell them about the Akwesasne “ice road” and other means of entry that skip the formalities of crossing at a regular border post?

  • Dyspeptic Curmudgeon

    Crap. We *gave* you Peter Jennings, and Leslie Neilson, and William Shatner. We even threw in Justin Beiber (ok: that was a fifth round draft choice).
    And you want to give us Al ‘All-race-baiter-all-the-time’ Sharpton?
    And Whoopi Goldberg and Lena Dunham?

  • Nicholas (Excentrality!) Gray

    Canada, there’s no need to worry- a show called ‘The Last Leg’, with Australian comedian Adam Hills, in Britain, has already started a donate-a-brick contest website in the U.K.! It’s got millions of donators! So the wall is practically built! But I thought Canadians were good little refugee-lovers? Wouldn’t you welcome even Hollywoodsters? What have you got against people who never grew out of play-acting?

  • Eric

    Well, if anyone is on the fence and looking for reason to vote for Trump, the prospect of Lena Dunham leaving the US should do the trick.

    Only if she can get over the wall. Canada isn’t going to have to build a very high wall to stop Lena Dunham. A meter or so should do it.

  • Vinegar Joe

    The US should give the entire US West Coast to Mexico. It’ll be entertaining watching how Canada deals with Mexicans pouring across into BC. And Hollywood (like Canada) loves diversity, right? A win-win-win situation I’d say.

  • Eric


    What did you do to us? I have two words for you: Celine Dion.

    We could have nuked you under the laws of war.

  • Nicholas (Excentrality!) Gray

    Dyspie, Canada beat the Yanks in two wars, the war of Independence (when you would have been incorporated into the Union), and again in the war of 1812, when you had the disagreeableness to refuse to let them include you into their superior way of life. You know how Americans love to win. I’ll bet they even claim they didn’t lose the Vietnam war- they came an honourable second.
    That’s what Canada did- you didn’t let them win!!!

  • Paul Marks

    If Mr Trump becomes President (and pigs were flying…..) these celebs would find they have a LOT IN COMMON with his opinions.

    The real Donald Trump is a New York leftist – who is very much part of the celeb culture. Going to all the parties and so on.

    The people who would really be flung into despair are the people who are voting for Donald Trump – thinking he is a conservative.

    But, sorry, I have no sympathy for people who think that Mr Trump is a conservative – that he would “appoint Constitutionalist justices” and so on.

    Five minutes research would show them what Donald Trump really is – a life long Progressive.

    If they are not prepared to do five minutes research before deciding who they should support – then they deserve all they get.

  • Julie near Chicago

    Paul, it’s not that anybody thinks Trump is a conservative, or is concerned about Constitutionalist judges as such — it’s just that he might put up one or two by accident or because he thinks somebody he’s schmoozing would like it, whereas Shrill would leave off blatant malfeasance and theft only long enough to be sure her nominees will burn the thing and send the ashes to the bottom of the Mindinao Trench.

  • Vulgar Madman

    I don’t think conservatives care what he is at this point.
    The right people hate him.

  • Mitch

    Screw Canada. Sending Celine Dionne to Lad Vegas was an act of war.