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I am a yacht-fondler

Brown does not really understand libertarianism, but this is an accolade:

One of the words Brown uses most often in private to describe the Tory leader is “libertarian”: a word that conveys his belief that Cameron’s “compassionate conservatism” is mere window-dressing, but also hints at a decadent strain of Tory libertinage, drug-taking and yacht-fondling.

I expect I shall be arrested for loitering around marinas as yacht-fondling will be outlawed in the next Parliament.

25 comments to I am a yacht-fondler

  • Alisa

    Men are fondlers, period. Objects of fondling may change, but that’s all. Now all you guys need to find out is what is the preferred object of Broon’s fondling.

  • RAB

    If Broon thinks Cameron a Libertarian, he must think we are all the Spawn of Satan.

    There is no finer pleasure than to fondle a pair of rollocks in the afternoon!

    Please God he is not thinking of being an Economics teacher, we are in enough trouble already.

  • Alisa

    RAB, you…man!

  • John K

    I am qute proud that a fascistic moron like Brown considers “libertarian” a term of abuse, however much Green Dave fails to meet the definition.

  • Men are fondlers, period. Objects of fondling may change, but that’s all. Now all you guys need to find out is what is the preferred object of Broon’s fondling.

    I would imagine that like all good puritans, he only fondles his turnips.

  • Pa Annoyed

    I thought it was obvious. He fondles power, and the prime-ministership. He waited years to get his hands on it, and he’s not letting go, no matter how much it kicks and screams.

  • RAB

    Come now,

    We all know what the Broon fondles

    With his big gnarled digit erect!

    His Bogeys of despair….

  • Laird

    RAB, you sent me scurrying to Google(Link)! Thanks.

  • Orson Presence

    Just been yacht fondling myself this pm. Hard on the heels of the fox thing, I can see your point.

    But then again, I needn’t worry too much.

    I’m in Ireland.

  • Laird, I figured RAB had simply made a typo and really meant to write, “There is no finer pleasure than to fondle a pair of bollocks in the afternoon!” Whatever floats one’s yacht, I suppose. 😉

  • Kevin B

    Well I spend Saturday morning fondling* balls. Hopefully only one, but too often several.

    *(If hitting them with a long stick with a metal head counts as fondling.)

    As for drug-taking, I try to confine myself to caffeine, nicotine, alchohol and ibuprofen, so I’m not sure that I qualify as a libertine on that score either.

  • Johnathan

    I wonder if Brown ever mentioned this to Edward Heath, who, for all his faults as a politician, knew how to handle a boat in a rough sea, which is more than can be said for that Scottish creep now in power.

  • Rob

    Brown fondles only the result of his endogenous growth.

  • You wonder whether Gordy boy considers Dave to be a “libertine”…and that’s how he perceives the idea of a libertarian. He certainly exudes an air of puritanism.

    Disregarding all the obvious, surface stuff, I’ve always thought there was something not quite right about Gordy.

    He reminds me of Susan Boyle too. Not a good loser and a bit mad.

    But, then again, if Gordy took up with SuBo in a wild illicit affair he’d probably win the next election.

  • Nuke Gray!

    There’s nothing wrong with yacht-fondling, so long as the bad wife doesn’t find out. (The good wife, of course, won’t worry, or will forgive you the indiscretion.)
    Maybe yacht-fondling will be compulsory when Camewrong and the Terrors sweep into Govmint?

  • Brown is a mere puppet of Lord [insert endless grandiosity] Mandelson, who is a serial yacht-fondler. I think you may all relax.

  • As long as the PM only says these sorts of things in private, fair enough. But if he calls David Cameron a libertarian in public, libertarians will rise up and sue for defamation.

  • Richard Thomas

    Yes. This is an obvious attempt to discredit libertarianism before its concept can begin to take hold in the public consciousness. It’s the way these people work. Control the language, control the people.

  • Regional

    I take exception to your assetion, we’re gropers!

  • Paul Marks

    It may be a confusion between “libertarian” (non aggression principle) and “libertine” (endless vice).

    Or it may be simply that Prime Minister Brown is an idiot.

    But it is not just Brown.

    Only the other day Lord Tebbit (a man I greatly respect) said that (now Speaker) John Bercow has “changed” – that he was no longer the good man that “took on student extremists” in his youth.

    As one of the “student extremists” (i.e. libertarians in then Federation of Conservative Students) it is depressing to see that Lord Tebbit is still decieved.

    John Bercow has not “changed” – he was backstabbing, dishonourable nonenity when he helped destroy F.C.S. (the organization of which he was Chairman), and he is a backstabbing, dishonourable nonenity now.

    Lord Tebbit understands that John Bercow is treacherous and dishonourble now – but he does not understand that he was treacherous and dishonourable then (there has been no “change”).

    Clue – I was one of the least “libertine” young men it is possible to think of (the word “puritan” springs to mind) and yet I was one of the “extremists” (if by “extremist” one means libertarian) in the organization (and I knew most of the other “extremists”). But Lord Tebbit was not told the truth about people like me (and he still does not know it).

    Lord Tebbit was decieved by people who viewed the destruction F.C.S. (Mrs Thatcher’s “bodyguard”) as a practice run for the destruction of the “extremist” Mrs Thatcher herself.

    Whilst F.C.S. existed Mrs Thatcher could not be falsely depicted as an “extremist” (as the lady was a moderate compared to the student movement).

    And if the F.C.S. could be destroyed (by the forces of “compassionate conservativism”) by manipulation of the rules of the party – then so (later) could Mrs Thatcher herself.

    Sadly the true recent history of this country is still unknown to most people.

  • Peter Mc

    You only have to listen to Gordon Brown to know that he would not stop and smile and nod approvingly at the sight of a Contessa 32 at anchor, that an old gaffer breaking out a snow white topsail would not move him.

    We are ruled by a clod. He would like motorboats.

  • RAB

    Thanks Laird.
    Sending people scurrying,
    is my life’s work. 😉

    As for you Ted,
    There’s this thing called humour,
    If it has to be explained
    Well you know what I mean!

  • Alisa

    Regional: dare I ask?…no, I do not.

  • Steve

    Sorry I found the thread so late, but I had to chime in:

    Yacht-fondling’s not a crime, unless the yacht is less than eighteen feet. (Obligatory dinghy joke here)

  • Ah well, that’ll be the London and Southampton Boat Shows going west, then.

    Maybe Mr Cameron could think more laterally when it comes to the next shadow cabinet reshuffle; Robert Braithwaite, MBE hasn’t done too badly, when it comes to transport :-).