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Samizdata, derived from Samizdat /n. - a system of clandestine publication of banned literature in the USSR [Russ.,= self-publishing house]

M, call your office

It turns out that Daniel Craig, the latest man to play 007, might not be cut out of the sort of material that Ian Fleming might have imagined. The guy doesn’t even like the Bond-style martinis!

Never mind. Whatever happens to the series, we will always have the early Sean Connery films to treasure.

Bob Bidinotto is unimpressed.

18 comments to M, call your office

  • Julian Taylor

    I saw one of the outtakes of the new Bond movie the other day, and I have to say that Craig looks far more suitable to the part of a biographical portrait of the life of David Moyes (Everton FC’s manager) than the role of 007. All he needs is the sheepskin jacket, cheap trilby and the ability to spout, “the lads done good” … or not, as in Everton’s current dismal league performance.

  • Kim du Toit

    Of course, the Bond movies glorify violence (and gunplay especially), but that was never going to be enough to stand in the way of making a boatload of money.

    Hypocritical twerp.

  • Claxton

    “I played every role tongue-in-cheek because I don’t really believe in that sort of hero. I don’t like guns.”

    Heroes should stop villains with hugs and kisses and rainbows and happiness!

  • ThePresentOccupier

    Load of apologist clap-trap. “ooh, guns are scary and evil” – pillock.

    New Bond, please – that one’s clearly broken. They almost got it right with Samantha Bond as Moneypenny.

    Well, I can hardly *not* follow what is going on…

  • Johnathan Pearce

    BTW, one of the best things Ayn Rand wrote in non-fiction was her analysis of popular fiction in her book, The Romantic Manifesto. She specifically targeted “tongue-in-cheek” humour and the pervasive mockery of heroism in contempoary films. Worth a read.

  • John K

    If you use a working hypothesis that all actors are dingbats you will never be disappointed, and will occasionally be pleasantly surprised.

    So poor diddums hates guns but is quite happy to make a few million quid acting in a film where gunplay is a central motif. No wonder Hitchcock thought all actors were cattle.

  • John K

    By the way, I wanted to be rude about “Sir” Sean Connery too, but your ridiculous anti-spam software seems to think he is spam, so has done my work for me.

  • Rob Fletcher

    If you read it, it appears he does like martinis the proper Bond way, it’s just the stupid journalist who wrote the piece up that’s got it confused.

    But yeah, what he has to say about guns is pretty ridiculous. Ho hum. Nothing could be worse than the last Bond movie anyway. Invisible car indeed.

  • Alfred E. Neuman

    No wonder Hitchcock thought all actors were cattle.

    Actually, John, Hitch was only accused of saying that–to which he responded:

    “No, I said that all actors should be treated like cattle.”

  • Sigivald

    Martinis are drinks containing gin and some non-zero but not necessarily large amount of vermouth, possibly an olive or some olive brine.

    They are not made with vodka, no matter what Steven Green tries to tell you.

    (On the other hand, our hoplophobic actor here speaks only of liking his martini straight, not mentioning its ingredients.)

  • Michael Farris

    I’ll play devil’s advocate and say that of the candidates mentioned in the press, Mr. Craig looks the most plausible as the character, though how he actually works out on the big screen and box office is yet to be determined (and I haven’t seen any of his movies so I can’t comment on his acting ability or screen presence).

    I’d also say that an actor’s personal opinions have very little to do with how well they do their job, which is, after all, called acting. I do find it interesting that his distaste in part stems from actually seeing/dealing with the effects of bullets on human flesh, an experience I suppose few samizdatistas have any experience with.

  • John K

    I do find it interesting that his distaste in part stems from actually seeing/dealing with the effects of bullets on human flesh, an experience I suppose few samizdatistas have any experience with.

    The poncey little wuss said he’d seen the effects of a bullet on a shoot, nothing about seeing a human being shot. So bullets damage flesh do they? Thank God we have actors to tell us the bleeding obvious.

  • Midwesterner

    “That’s a simple fact. I’ve seen a bullet wound and it was a mess. It was on a shoot and it scared me. Bullets have a nasty habit of finding their target and that’s what’s scary about them.”

    On set accident? Sounds like a good reason to keep real guns away from actors. And that bit about

    “nasty habit of finding their target”

    certainly says something about who he thinks should have the guns.

  • Charles

    Hey, has he seen what multiple partners and no condom can do?

    But maybe he has a point. SPECTOR has always been ahead of the curve in terms of employee saftey. Ever since Blowfelt introduced manditory helmet laws for all employees, No 2 has continued with manditory eyewear protection, high viz saftery suits with fire resistant aramid fibers, even for all reactor and launch control personnel. Out sourced assassins are required to wear ANSI/Snell approved head gear and saftey leather suits on all SPECTOR contract work… excepting for Jaws and knife booted Russian ladies.

  • Larry Anderson

    Well, I guess they will see when we refuse to view this film in droves. I mean really.. The Bond films have ALWAYS played to the red blooded, meat eatin’ gun totin’ male. Once we see what he’s made of, he’ll be out faster than that chap from “On Her Majesty’s Secret Service.” (YES, I know his name.. I just choose not to feed the Google Engine)

    Bollux to the lot of them. Cubby Broccoli must be doing high RPM by now. I say, let Bond age a bit, and bring back Timothy Dalton (NO, sit down, and hear me out). I have been a fan of the series since I was a nipper, sneaking out of bed to watch them with my Dad on the sly. I loved Old Sean, was amused by Moore (I still say he’s “The Saint”, not Bond), but I have to say, after reading the Flemming Novels, and the later Gardner efforts, I think Dalton played the character very close to the novelizations. With better scripts, we might have had nearly twenty years of excellent Dalton lead Bond flicks (Though I did quite like Brosnan.. But still thought of him as Remington Steele).

    Here endeth the rant

    Corsair, The Mostly Harmless

  • Julian Taylor

    I should think he meant on a shoot as in pheasant shoot. I’m aware of major FUBARs on filmsets (one pleasant memory of the armourers messing up on the set of the opening battle in The Gladiator, where they issued the harmless swords to the stuntmen and the real ones to the extras) but they wouldn’t allow real bullets anywhere near a movie set – too much involved in insurance etc.

  • Joshua

    I hereby whole-heartedly second EVERYTHING Larry Anderson has to say about Timothy Dalton. Horribly underrated, that one. The only thing that kept him from being the perfect Bond was the ridiculous script for “License to Kill” *shudder*. I have been waiting to meet someone else who thought Dalton was a good Bond since about 1987.

    Thank you, thank you, thank you!

  • Larry Anderson


    My pleasure..

    I Live To Serve…