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Stupid ‘security’

During my recent travels in the US, I encountered many a ‘security’ measure at various airports. By the end of my stay and a fair number of flights, these were beginning to really get on my nerves. I am not singling the US as the only security-mad country, although it seems that something certainly got out of hand there. The airport searches are interminable – going through metal detectors that seem to have the highest sensitive settings was most annoying as my travel companion is one of those people who will fail to fish out the last quarter from their pockets or forget to take off his watch/belt/keys. (By the way a dime in my pocket did go through just fine…)

Another inexplicable measure is the never-ending checks of one’s boarding pass. After the full check-in with bells and whistles on – passports and security questions, our boarding documents were checked no less then five times before we finally settled down in our seats. Most of them happened within three yards of each other.

My harping on about this may be a bit off the point especially as I was not subjected to anything as drastic as overzealous security personnel and most people seem to accept the ordeals. The flights were uneventful and most likely not delayed by the searches and checks and screenings. What is most frustrating is the fact that none of those measures are effective or make much sense. They certainly are not efficient, spawning a huge mass of regulation, petty rules and turning customers into a fair game for any hung-up, power-crazed ‘little official’. While they may provide an effective therapy to thousands of sufferers of inferiority complex and to the ordinary people who would otherwise never have ‘tasted power’, the costs, born by the airlines i.e. their customers, act as a throttle on the demand for air travel.

It is a sad ocurrance that airports, the hubs of modern travel and civilisation, have become Kafkaesque worlds where bureaucracy has been allowed to run amok. To be fair, there are other places and institutions that manage similar achievements as the winners of Privacy International Stupid Security Contest testify.

31 comments to Stupid ‘security’

  • S. Weasel

    Oh, we’ve definitely got the whole airport security thing badly wrong in the US.

    Seeing how much harassment my frail and elderly but well-dressed parents get compared to my scruffy self, it seems the worst of it is down to yesterday’s MacDonald’s workers in today’s rent-a-cpp uniforms playing out their dearest class warfare fantasies. Feh.

    And, as you say, none of this nonsense is at all helpful in providing any real security, anyway. The lesson of September 11 is not that we need more incompetent bozos shaking down more citizens in more places. The best lesson is that you can’t expect ‘the authorities’ to protect you at all times in all conditions, and sometimes you might have to look out for yourself.

    But they don’t want us learning that lesson too well, do they?

  • A_t

    “The lesson of September 11 is not that we need more incompetent bozos shaking down more citizens in more places. The best lesson is that you can’t expect ‘the authorities’ to protect you at all times in all conditions, and sometimes you might have to look out for yourself.”

    lol… what, like keeping a SAM handy in case someone tries to ram your office building with a jet liner?

  • S. Weasel

    No, like not assuming cooperating with plane hijackers is the best survival strategy.

    But you knew that.

  • Alfred E. Neuman

    I have been consistently putting off anything requiring flying since I started to hear the horror stories of Napoleanic security screeners, incredibly long waits, and people getting interrogated for hours for becoming testy.

    I have done this because I know I will get arrested if I try to fly; I cannot stand petty officials and their attitudes and if I cannot avoid them, I often insult or fight with them. And in the case of air travel, that will immediately get me arrested and treated like a criminal.

    My wife wants to take flying lessons. I wholeheartedly approve.

  • Dave O'Neill

    My wife wants to take flying lessons. I wholeheartedly approve

    If you want to see petty officialdom, wait until you see what its like to set up and file a flight plan post 9-11. Yeugh!

    US airport design has a lot of problems which need to be resolved. Seattle has only recently stopped searching all passengers *arriving* from long haul flights – although, there is some satisfcation in taking off your shoes and handing them to some guy after you’ve been wearing them for 16 hours.

  • Alfred E. Neuman

    lol… what, like keeping a SAM handy in case someone tries to ram your office building with a jet liner?

    Try not being an ass for just once, A_t. I know you have a childish need to contradict nearly everything said on this blog, but we’re not in high school anymore and it doesn’t make you an l33t HaXxOr.

  • It really depends which airport you use. Los Angeles was the worst. You’d think the New York airports would be the most strict, but they aren’t. Then you’ll encounter some oddball airport in the Midwest, some tiny one, where they’ve gone all officious. It fits with the Midwest “follow the rules” thing.

    My experiences at Gatwick and Heathrow still top anything I’ve had in the U.S.–with the Inquisitor asking all sorts of questions and checking bags. The armed patrols of Gatwick, with their MP-5s and riot gear, were a solid reminder that the Brits are serious about airport security.

  • Dave O'Neill

    I’ve had realy problems with security checking in for AA flights at Gatwick, but never BA at Heathrow. Part of the problem is the airlines and airport authority get fined by the US for any problems so they tend to be pretty extreme. Although since 9-11 I think it has reversed. The pre-boarding search I keep getting stopped for in US airports is a pain.

    The two worst airports I have ever used are SFO and O’Hare.

    Weirdly I find the seriously armed police to be relatively comforting at airports. I flew from SFO shortly after 9-11 when they had the National Guard in the airport and there was nothing remotely comforting about watching overweight guys in their 50’s in combat greens and carrying their riffles in dress parade position.

  • Katherine

    Having just returned from a trip to Fiji via LAX I can attest to the truth of “the never-ending checks of one’s boarding pass”. What exactly is the point?

    While all those checks on pasengers were being conducted we kept wondering who was loading our luggage on the plane and how easy it would be slip something extra there.

  • speedwell

    Flying to LA from a point within the US or Canada? Two words of advice:

    Burbank airport.

  • A_t

    Alfred… i knew i shouldn’t have put the “lol” at the beginning; i’ll settle for a smiley next time then… & no, I don’t have a need to contradict everything on this blog; i’d have my work cut out for me. I just question the stuff i don’t get/can’t see the sense in. If i mock things occasionally, i’m just fitting in with the general tone of my surroundings.

    Admittedly, not thinking of the lesson as being “dont’ cooperate with terrorists on planes” was maybe dumb on my part, but @ the same time, this doesn’t have much to do with people trusting the government to sort it out, so much as people expecting the terrorists not to be the mass-murdering bastards. Sadly, they turned out to be just that. This perception has definitely changed now, but on the larger protect-us-from-terrorism front, it still looks as though most people are looking to the government for their protection.

    I apologise if you took offense @ the tone of my comment, but it just seemed an amusing thought, & no disrespect to the victims was intended.

  • Amelia

    Hartsfield/Atlanta security really bites. Recently, I missed flight to Biloxi for annual sin session at the black jack tables due to long lines at security, a very necessary metal component in my clothing, and then being singled out for special random computer selected search. I was there hours before take-off and it did no good whatsoever. The whole experience was so frustrating and humiliating that I have no intention of flying anywhere anytime soon.

  • Good points. As a resident of Washington, DC who is in and out of government buildings all day long, I can attest to the useleness of most of the security measures taken and the sheer incompetence of many of the guards.

    Many of my friends refer to the hiring of six security guards to watch one normal door with moderate traffic (such as Department of Labor) as “Washington Welfare”, because it is clearly make-work with taxpayer funds.

  • Richard Thomas

    I have to assume that you are talking about flight plans for commercial flights when you talk of the hassle post 9-11. Flight plans for general aviation (which I assume what the guy talking about his wife taking flying lessons was talking about) are pretty simple.

    Rich

  • R.C. Dean

    The armed patrols of Gatwick, with their MP-5s and riot gear, were a solid reminder that the Brits are serious about airport security.

    With all due respect to Kim’s Mrs., MP-5s and riot gear have very little to do with airport security, and fall firmly into the category of feel-good security measures. MP-5s and riot gear would be just the ticket if our airports were beseiged by armed mobs, but that isn’t the security problem we face. MP-5s and riot gear can do nothing to ferret out explosives or incognito highjackers or saboteurs.

  • Alfred E. Neuman

    A_t, I was just being pissy just like you were being snarky. It seems we agree that people should look to themselves, and not the governement, for protection.

    Speaking of protection, I just got to shoot my new toy today. It’s a big sucker.

  • Guy Herbert

    R.C. Dean has it right Mrs du Toit: the British authorities are keen on effectiveness, but the effect desired in this case is not to stop terrorism but to alarm the public by being seen to be doing something, and to enhance opportunities for officiousness and intrusiveness by (already pretty officious and intrusive) customs offficials.

  • Jim

    The mentality that runs airport so-called security has infected Amtrak passenger train service between Washington and Boston. For “security” purposes, all passengers over the age of 18 must show photo ID when purchasing tickets (or when picking them up at the station if purchased on the Internet).

    Let’s see — what are the odds that terrorists might highjack a train and… and… and what? Run it into a building? Take it to Cuba? What? And didn’t most of the 9-11 terrorists have driver’s licenses, so they could have met the photo ID requirement?

    This security requirement is even more ridiculous in action.

    My teenage son was accompanying my wife and me on a trip to New York City. He was still a bit short of his 18th birthday — I told that to the ticket clerk and he accepted my word — which, I suppose, was nice of him, except that although my son was, indeed, 17 yrs old, he is big and wears a beard and could easily pass as being in his early twenties.

    Another time I was in the Philadelphia Amtrak station where people were lined up waiting to purchase tickets at the ticket counters beneath signs commanding them to have their photo ID ready to show to the ticket agent while announcements on the public address system kept exhorting customers to use one of the many ticket vending machines (which, of course, did not check photo ID). Duh….

  • I think the thing that’s floored me the most are the reports on TV, less frequent now, but still rather often, about the lines at security in airports, where they interview some person standing in line, and they’ve got this attitude like ‘Yeah, it’s a hassle standing here for an hour, but if it’s gonna make us safer then it’s ok.’

    !!!!!

    I guess if the purpose of the TSA is to put on a big show, cause obviously hassling people is ‘making them secure’, then they’re doing an admirable job. But as far as actual security, and making sure people don’t sneak guns or box-cutters, or other objects, I think Nat Heatwole (Washington Post age entry required) has shown us just how effective those measures are. That kid’s gonna get the book thrown at him, and give all the rest of us an object lesson in what happens when you pants the government.

  • R. C. Dean

    I hope the kid who “tested” TSA’s security has the balls to go all the way to a jury trial. I think he has a very good chance of getting off if he can tell his story to ordinary citizens, rather than a bunch of bureaucrats who he just embarassed the hell out of. I for one would vote to let him walk.

  • Ken

    The key to airline safety is the same as the key to safety on our city streets:

    Let the good guys go armed!

    The best way for the powers that be to improve our security is to stop taking away every last little item that might possibly hurt a terrorist.

  • John J. Coupal

    I almost fell off the sofa laughing when the TSA official in response to the Heatwole incident said, seriously, to the effect.. “we don’t need amateurs testing the system; we know where the problems are”.

    When Nat e-mailed weeks in advance to the feds with the date, time, flight numbers, and airline that he was going to put contraband items on, signed his name, and the feds did…..nothing…..,then it’s pretty clear who the “amateurs” are.

  • A few years ago, some guy packed a portable radio with marzipan and took it through Gatwick. (Marzipan looks and smells exactly like Semtex, apparently.) Having got through all the security checks with no trouble whatsoever, he went back to security, opened up the radio, explained what he’d just done and asked them to improve their security. They did improve their security, and they didn’t arrest him.

  • Verity

    For sheer jobsworths, it’s hard to beat Britain. This morning in The Telegraph, Sam Leith describes how he was stopped by airport security because he had, on his keyring, a tiny plastic replica of a gun he got off a Glock stand at an exhibition. The barrel of this little keyring trinket is just under an inch long. Herewith the exchange with the “security guard”.

    “That,” he said, “is a replica firearm.”

    “But it’s made of plastic.”

    “I know.”

    “And it’s tiny.”

    “Yes, tiny,” he agreed.

    “Teeny tiny.”

    “I’m sorry, sir. Those are the rules.”

    Leith closes by saying that once on board, along with his inflight meal, he was presented with a four inch plastic replica of a knife.

  • Cydonia

    This story about a couple being locked up and abused by airport security staff, made my blood boil. It gives a good sense of what is going on:

    http://www.lewrockwell.com/orig3/monahan1.html

  • Biased Observer

    Recently traveled into and out of Las Vegas. The American security processes were quick, professional, and the staff was even friendly! I was pleasantly surprised-having expected the Spanish Inquisition (yes- I know nobody expects the S.I.).

    On the other hand Canadian Customs was glacially slow and irrelevant to providing actual national security!

  • Tim Haas

    Another time I was in the Philadelphia Amtrak station where people were lined up waiting to purchase tickets at the ticket counters beneath signs commanding them to have their photo ID ready to show to the ticket agent while announcements on the public address system kept exhorting customers to use one of the many ticket vending machines (which, of course, did not check photo ID). Duh….

    Duh, but no more duh than requiring IDs in line — each ticket machine at Philly (and presumably elsewhere) has a camera trained on it from above at an angle that catches the user’s face. I always wear a big hat when using them.

  • Kevin L. Connors

    Flying to LA from a point within the US or Canada? Two words of advice:

    Burbank airport.

    Tickets to/from Burbank and Long Beach always seem to cost more. But there’s always John Wayne (Orange County) and Ontario. Either of these will mean a bit more of a drive if your final destination is in LA proper though.

  • Just a Lurker

    Guys,

    I’ve read the website for a long time, and usually agree with what you say. But maybe I’m flying different airports or something, but what I’ve experienced is completely different.

    In the last 3 months, I’ve been on the road constantly. I’ve been in airports in San Francisco, Oakland, Chicago, Tampa, Nashville, LaGuardia, etc. If anything, things are faster than before 9-11.

    Because of those new kiosk check-ins, I’m checked in in 5 minutes. Security can be a hassle, but they only ask for my boarding pass once. I’ve only had to wait once in security for more than 10 minutes. All the other times, I was through in 2 or 3.

    When you get on the plane, they check your boarding pass a second time, but they’ve always done that.

    Getting on to a plane has always been a hassle, but it’s no worse (that I can see) than it ever was, and in some ways it’s easier. Now, the seats are too close together, the flight attendents are grouchy, and too many flights are late, so it isn’t all good. And, there’s the bigger question of whether this does any good. But I hear a lot more complaining about security than I think the situation requires.

    But that’s just my opinion. I could be wrong.

  • Andrew Milner

    No sense of humour at Portland Airport. The metal clips on my braces were setting of the metal detector. “It’s your suspenders”. “Thought that was your department, love.” Lucky I didn’t get charged with sexual harassment. But with women that fat and ugly, would be hard to make that rap stick.
    Obviously my last trip to USA, at least for this lifetime. Seriously guys, when you discover Asian women and compare with the domestic product, in another three generations it will be hard to find any all white kids in school.

  • taki

    It’s a good thing most of you folks have decided NOT to fly anymore. The most annoying thing about flying is being sandwiched between a couple of people that won’t stop complaining about security measures. Take a train, take a bus, drive, better yet– stay at home and noone else will here you complaining. Are you really so simpleminded as to think that all these guards are there to chase down a couple suspected terrorist? Well, they’re not. They are called a “deterrent”. Most people think twice about doing something stupid when they can’t tell the difference between rentacop, trained security and marshalls. Not everyone in street clothes in the airport is a customer. They are the ones that terrorist feel comfortable around if they think they’ve passed the uniform guards. We don’t want them to get to that point, but, if suicide is on their minds the deterrent factor doesn’t work. There is power in numbers and there always will be. Maybe this country should drop the security and you clowns can start complaining about the lack thereof.