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European devolution

In the last few days Britain has been depicted as the Paradise (soon to be) Lost in the clutches of the Federasts. Hope has been expressed that the British public may stir eventually and oppose Blair’s finishing touches on handing over the country’s sovereignty. The word “bovine” has been mentioned in descriptions of the UK public and the adjective is excruciatingly close to the truth.

Only with a public as sleepy and ‘tolerant’ of the destructive antics of its politicians and bureaucrats as the British public has been, a particular breed of Homo politicus characteristic to these isles could have evolved.

The species, known as Bureaucrat idioticus can be found in most governmental bodies, with highest density around local councils. In the last 50 years, it has adapted to a change in its original natural habitat from large forested ministerial departments to smaller, murkier quango marshlands.

It belongs to a larger family of Homo collectivicus, sub-group Homo nonsensicus, indigenous to Great Britain, a genetic dead-end variation on Homo socialist (see below).

However, the most famous branch of Homo collectivicus family is Homo communist, spread around the globe in the last century but currently experiencing an evolutionary hiatus.

The ubiquitous Homo socialist, another influential branch, occupies the same evolutionary niche in its biological family as the cockroach in the insect family. Finally, the recently prospering Homo transnationalis has made some headway to the top levels of the British public institutions, the Government and the Courts.

In the last decade, the Bureaucrat idioticus has been inter-breeding with Bureaucrat corruptus (its continental variety, as well as with its closely related Bureaucrat sanctimonis), which resulted in a virulent Bureaucrat federalis whilst facilitating deeper and wider entrenchment of Homo transnationalis in Great Britain.

Oh, we are so ready for the EU primeval soup!

Note: The ‘family tree’ for Homo Liberalis (original meaning) to follow.

23 comments to European devolution

  • Becky

    “Federasts” – How I love you wacky, zany “rational” libertarians! In what way exactly are people who favour a federal Europe like people who sexually abuse children?

  • G Cooper

    Becky enquires:

    “In what way exactly are people who favour a federal Europe like people who sexually abuse children?”

    Well, just for starters, because there’s a lot of both in Belgium?

  • S. Weasel

    Becky: in the same way audiophiles are like philanthropists. Don’t they teach no etymology in them there schools?

  • snide

    Becky has had a sense of humor by-pass I guess. And the fact is the fedarists abuse everyone, not just children.

    But I think the object of them using the term is to upset people who are seen by the authors of the blog as liberty’s enemies, not to literally ascribe pedarist sentiments to them… I mean after all, who could possibly think that grave crimes against children might be treated shockingly lightly in, say, the EU’s capital Belgium? Surely not, right?.

    You may not like the tactic, particularly if you fit the bill yourself as a supporter of super-statism, but while it may not be nice, there is nothing irrational about using ridicule as a weapon!

  • Toni

    Your tree implies that the Homo Communist not contributed to the advent of the Bureaucrat Federalis.
    That’s preposterous!
    You don’t even mention the Great Green Contribution to the Euro Red Haven!
    And what about Womyn!?
    Even in your nightmares your idea of Europe is too rosy. Europe is not that decent!

  • Toni… note the colour of Homo Collectivist!

  • BTW I came up with the word “Federast” back in the early-90s during the Masstricht debate. Any resemblance between the word pederast and federast is purely conicidental…;)

  • Jacob

    “Only with a public as sleepy and ‘tolerant’ of the destructive antics of its politicians and bureaucrats as the British public has been…”
    Why do you keep insisting that a sleepy, or unaware, or bovine public is beeing cheated and led by malicious politicians into the EU ?
    It is a little haughty to treat the “people” as imbeciles, nay, it’s characteristic of the leftish intellectuals.
    Calling those who have an opinion different from your’s “bovine” or “sleepy” or “bureaucrat idioticus” may be nothing but the truth, still it is impolite to use such terms, and helps not one iota in convincing them that your position is the correct one, which is what you must do if you want to prevail.

  • I disagree Jacob. It is not a foolish tactic as it is only likely to upset people with well developed contrary views… and we do not really care about upsetting them.

    It is indeed true even although there is considerable evidence that more people are now belatedly starting to wake up, one hell of a lot of people are still in a stupor… and after all, if people want to think of themselves as not bovine because they agree with our views, that is just fine by me.

  • Jacob,

    This is war, old chum, and not time for pleasantries. We are not trying to win these people round, we are aiming to defeat them. We have a nation to save and better a few harsh words now than bullets later.

    And, by the way, you should hear some of the insults they use (racist, xenophobe, fascist, bigot, etc).

  • Toni


    I agree that some harsh words can keep undecided people away. But Carr thinks this is World War Three. He has an article about it.
    If he is right, is the Left is out to end with us…
    no quarter!
    no mercy!

  • Yank

    You Brits drive on the wrong side of the road and you put the comments at the top instead of the bottom. Ignore my comment on the last post and let me put it here where it belongs.

    Why are you people doing this? And, by “this”, I mean, subordinating yourselves and your nation to the French and Germans who dominate the EU? I don’t get it.

  • We have our comments at the top because we are a group blog and so need to put the name, topic, etc where people can see who is the author before they read the article (not really a problem on most blogs given that they are one-man-bands).

    Likewise the honking great yellow edged divider is a subtle hint where one article ends and the next begins.

  • John

    Actually I agree Jacob, in practice. I run in to many, many folks who have had their sensibilities crippled by PC universities. Their idea of polite conversation precludes any nasty words (no matter how accurate the description) They turn white at the mere mention of certain words, they won’t even bother with finding out the context. While I may not be bothered, they are. Unfortunately they are the folks you must awaken from their slumber, and calling attention to their faults will not help.

    One other quibble, evolution is not directional, so devolution of a species is not really possible. Though I am curious what the family tree looks like for the trans-Atlantic species

  • Jacob,

    The political discourse in both countries — US & UK — has been PC’d to death. Satire and ridicule can be effective if it is done well. Just think Frederic Bastiat — yes, a Frenchman.

    As for the British public being “bovine”, they’re not the only ones. The U.S. is famous for letting things fester before acting decisively. The World Trade Center is a perfect example.

    We’ve seen Islamist terror incidents since 1979 — the Iranian hostages — and it took a major catastrophe for us to wake up. A short list: Beirut barracks bombing, Khobar Towers, African embassies and the U.S.S. Cole.

    Apparently bovine behavior is not limited to Britain.

  • Absolutely brilliant satire! And very timely considering Senator Rick Santorum’s recent effort to prevent the word “homo” from spreading to new populations. I linked these two stories at my site, and will keep readers posted about the coming linguistic and taxonomic showdown!

    You are just great!!!

  • Hi Gabriel,

    One comment on collectivist family tree: Superb! 🙂


    PS: Can’t wait to see Homo Liberalis 😉

  • I love the diagram. Is that the minister of silly walks on Homo nonsensicus?

    I am now addicted to this site and I will keep on returning if only to read the latest viscious attacks on socialism.

    Keep it up!

  • Yes, it is the minister of silly walks. Well spotted, Chris. 🙂

  • Johnathan

    Nice graphic! Good to see that we are focussing on the sheer godawfulness of the euro-federalist vision on the grounds of its illiberality.

    At a recent Bruges Group meeting (anti-federalist group), I got the impression that many euro-sceptics would be quite happy to see Big Government at home so long as it is British Big Government. Let’s make it clear that we want to roll back the state, of whatever hue, and that the main objection to a EU state is that the rollback process is likely to be even more of a struggle than at the national level.

    Just seen the latest economic data in from Germany. Terrible.

  • Tremor

    On the subject of pythonian humor, Can you “Spot the Loonie” in the Diagram??? BZZZZZZ… Time is up! Yes, that’s right, they are all loonies!

  • bruxelles

    An alternative, intellectually stimulating viewpoint might be worthwhile in order to recover from the demeaning attempts at satire designed to belittle actual debate as employed on Samizdata…

  • bruxelles: to quote your blog regarding us Eurosceptics… Their mythologising has done the document much discredit,

    And we are by no means done yet as we intend to do it a great deal more discredit.