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Proud to be a Britney

Of all the many consequences of the 9/11 atrocities, I have noticed one that has hitherto gone unheralded and probably unnoticed. Amidst the long periods I have spent reading and scrutinizing the many voices of America that are broadcast over the internet, I have noticed with mounting bemusement a highly prevalent use of the term ‘Britney’

At first, I must confess that I was at a loss to grasp the meaning or significance of this term but, upon examining the context in which it is most frequently used its true meaning soon made istelf abundantly clear; the term ‘Britney’ is, of course, one of affection and endearment for us, the British

How could it be anything but, when used with such visceral relish by so many of our American cousins when they say things like:

Oh man, I really wanna rock with Britney


Me and Britney gonna paaarteeeeee


Wow, I dreamt about Britney last night and woke up with, like, a major woody

Hot salty tears of pride and gratitude roll down my cheeks as realise that our ‘special relationship’ has not only been undiminshed by time and circumstance but rather has deepened and solidified. How my heart swells with pride when I think of all those Americans in bars from Boston to Philadelphia and Chicago raising a glass of Pabst Blue Riband to toast the memory of Winston Churchill, a truly great Britney

This is nothing short of an inestimable gift, for, while the French are Frogs, the Germans are Krauts, the Canadians are Kanuks and the Russians are still Commies, we British are ‘Britneys’; the donees of a idiomatic expression that carries within its pithy cadence all those qualities that Americans have come to expect from us; steadfast and redoubtable, yet chirpy and easy-going

I exhort all my fellow countrymen and women to embrace and celebrate this term and make it our own and I urge our American allies to go forward and conquer their enemies for us ‘Britneys’ are with you

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