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The UK has declared a “climate emergency”, apparently

Jeremy Corbyn on Twitter:

Labour has just forced the UK Parliament to declare a #ClimateEmergency.

Real politics comes from the ground up, and that’s what today has shown.

An emergency does not have to be a catastrophe – we now need a Green Industrial Revolution that will reprogramme our economy.

All flights are grounded, today’s local elections have been indefinitely suspended, and jury trials will be replaced by military tribunals for the duration of the emergency. Citizens failing to report to their local branch of the Sustainable Farming Commission for voluntary labour service will be docked ten points of social credit.

Commenting on this post is forbidden. The internet will be closing shortly.

21 comments to The UK has declared a “climate emergency”, apparently

  • Mark

    Reprogramme

    Very telling use of language.

  • Gavin Longmuir

    Is there any chance of persuading Labour to hire a full-time spokesperson to raise public enthusiasm for the reprogramming? You know, someone who is young and attractive and vivacious and absolutely totally devoted to a New Green Deal?

    The US would be happy to send the UK the perfect person for the job. Only one condition — you cannot send Alexandra Occasional-Cortex back. Not ever!

  • Jim Jones

    I mowed my lawn today, am I now a criminal?

  • Natalie Solent (Essex)

    Jim Jones asks, “I mowed my lawn today, am I now a criminal?”

    Well, that depends. If the current emergency is taken seriously then you are doubly a criminal, first for mowing your lawn contrary to the Climate Emergency Powers Section 25 subsection 4 (a) (viii), and secondly for commenting on this post when you were clearly notified that doing so was forbidden.

    But if the declaration of an emergency was all just a piffling exercise in virtue-signalling, then you’re probably OK.

  • Phil B

    He forgot to add in the slogans like:

    “Advancing forward into the past” (i.e. back to medieval serfdom times)

    “The chocolate ration has been increased from 1 1/2 ounces to one ounce”

    etc. and so forth.

  • Stonyground

    I find it quite frightening to see how successful the climate catastrophe propaganda has been at brainwashing the masses. Anyone over the age of fifty can’t help but be aware that the climate has hardly changed over their lifetime. Have people got such short memories that they can’t remember the predictions of disasters that have failed to happen?

  • bobby b

    “The internet will be closing shortly.”

    You intended a jest, but Putin took you seriously.

    “Russian President Vladimir Putin signed a bill into law on Wednesday that will tighten government control over the internet. The new law requires that internet service providers in Russia unplug from foreign servers. It also calls for the creation of a national domain system that would allow the country to stay online if it was ever cut off from the global internet. The law will go into effect on November 1st, the Financial Times reports.”

    I fully expect the EU to follow shortly.

  • Brian Swisher

    Well, the UK crippled its economy by voting in socialists in 1945. Time for Round 2, I guess.

  • Mikesixes

    I’m sorry, Britain. You were great while you lasted.

  • CaptDMO

    Sustainable agriculture? Where do I report?
    I have fabrication skills.
    I can pound Labor MPs (DemSoc in US) heads into plowshares!
    Then , when they’re dragged through a field by oxen……

  • Fred Z

    We are watching the birth of a new religion.

    A knowledge of history will be useful.

    Me, I’m not going to buy indulgences, no, no, no, I’m going to sell them.

    The voters are about to get what they have asked for, good and hard, plenty often, and I hope to have my part in delivering it. I am tired of worrying about my fellow man. Fuck ’em, when they are not being idiots, they are being assholes.

  • Itellyounothing

    This seems like an obvious distraction techniques to try and restore credibility to politicians.

    Expect more.

    Democracy Deniers don’t stop at climate bullshit

  • David H Bolton

    The Earth is now noticeably (from space) more greener. This was reported in nature. Apparently some deserts have become shrunk and greener. This is all thanks to increased Co2 (or carbon as the scientific illiterates deliberately miscall it) is a greenhouse gas (a minor one compared to Methane and Water vapour) and greenhouses are good for growing things.

    And yet this is considered a bad thing?

    Has anyone considered there might just be another agenda going on here? This from 2015. “At a news conference last week in Brussels, Christiana Figueres, executive secretary of U.N.’s Framework Convention on Climate Change, admitted that the goal of environmental activists is not to save the world from ecological calamity but to destroy capitalism.

    “This is the first time in the history of mankind that we are setting ourselves the task of intentionally, within a defined period of time, to change the economic development model that has been reigning for at least 150 years, since the Industrial Revolution,” she said.” Source

  • Marius

    The wikipedia page for Christiana Figueres is a fascinating illustration of much that is wrong with the world.

    She’s the daughter of a former Costa Rica president. Her brother was also president. Her first job after university was deputy ambassador to Germany. She’s married to a guy who works for the World Bank in a sustainability role. She has had a number of appointed roles in Costa Rica and (presumably when no-one related was in office) elsewhere.

    No wonder she doesn’t believe in Capitalism. She has never been near a proper job, never mind a wealth creating job, in her life.

  • Rudolph Hucker

    All flights are grounded, except for the Virtue-Signalers.

    Bing Bong – Service Announcement (VIP Lounge)

    Will passengers Greta Thunberg, Emma Thompson, Owen Jones, Greg Clark, John Gummer, Ed Miliband (and children) please report to VIP Gate One for your flight to the next Climate Change Protest About Flying. Your Tesla cars have been parked in the high-security VIP electric recharging area. Please collect your Air Miles Rewards and Expenses Claim Forms before you leave the VIP Lounge.

  • This seems like an obvious distraction techniques to try and restore credibility to politicians. (Itellyounothing, May 2, 2019 at 11:38 pm

    To some politicians, I suppose it would indeed be an ‘obvious’ way to regain credibility – so obvious that the politicians who devised it will be very surprised when a future poll reveals that parliament’s popularity is still falling. 🙂

    To other politicians, I suspect, it was an obvious way to virtue signal and the future poll will just remind them how thick we all are.

    A third group of politicians can probably believe both at different times in the day – during a speech versus during a committee meeting, say.

    Natalie, I think your post (fights grounded, elections suspended, jury trials replaced, commenting forbidden) would need to have been much more exaggerated before it could parallel the exaggerations of climate alarmism. (Whether it would need to have been much more exaggerated before it could parallel the intentions of Christiana Figueres is another matter.)

  • Runcie Balspune

    today’s local elections have been indefinitely suspended

    This would never happen under a Labour government, Corbyn is a proud supporter of democracy, he said so himself right after saying he was not anti-Semitic. Of course, voting is permissible under a Corbyn government, even encouraged, as long as you vote for the party-approved Labour candidate that is, not that you have a choice after the opposition candidates are either assassinated or imprisoned.

  • Runcie Balspune

    Your Tesla cars have been parked in the high-security VIP electric recharging area

    You mean the one powered by the (out of sight) bank of diesel generators?

  • Rob

    The new law requires that internet service providers in Russia unplug from foreign servers

    Would they still be on the Internet if they did that?

  • Paul Marks

    I make the point I always make…..

    Even James “Gaia Man” Lovelock admitted that if people were serious about the C02 emissions are terrible theory – they would support the MASSIVE EXPANSION OF NUCLEAR POWER. And that can only come by DEREGULATION – so that cheaper and SAFER designs can be used.

    Very few of these “Climate Emergency” people support the MASSIVE EXPANSON OF NUCLEAR POWER. So a few of these people are sincere – but most are just power mad “control freaks”.

  • bobby b

    Rob
    May 3, 2019 at 11:41 am

    “The new law requires that internet service providers in Russia unplug from foreign servers

    Would they still be on the Internet if they did that?”

    Frankly, I was left confused, as this sentence:

    “The new law requires that internet service providers in Russia unplug from foreign servers

    seems to conflict with this sentence:

    “It also calls for the creation of a national domain system that would allow the country to stay online if it was ever cut off from the global internet.”

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