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An issue of grave concern Whilst perusing Fevered Rants, as I am wont to do, I came upon an article relating to how NORAD helps make certain that Santa is safe when operating over North America.
However, what really concerns me is that due to interference from Al Sharpton and Jessie Jackson, Santa’s policy of only hiring elves from Northern Finland has been replaced with a more ‘multiculturally inclusive’ system that does not permit ‘racial profiling’. As a result many of the packages in Santa’s North Pole grotto which are destined for your home, have been packed by efreets and djinns of decidedly Middle Eastern appearance.
Think about the implications of that whilst you are opening those ‘nice’ presents on Christmas day. Check the soles of those new Adidas shoes very carefully before you go jogging around the block to break them in.
Merry Christmas.
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