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Cooking with the Ceasars

In a few days’ time, I am seeing friends and the theme of the evening meal is that all the food is going to follow Roman recipes. No, I don’t mean the kind of thing you order in a restaurant now, I mean the sort of food that Marcus Aurelius might have eaten. Or as described in this book about the Romans by Ferdinand Mount.

Togas, I am told, are required.

Okay, time for all those Animal House comments.

24 comments to Cooking with the Ceasars

  • RRS

    Ah! Lucullus Redux!

    Bye the bye, Does anyone know what became of the eponymous 1980s London dining spot?

  • steve

    Don’t forget the doormice.

  • To be truly authentic, the eel must have been fed on sewerage.

  • RAB

    Best of luck with the lark’s tongues and the Garum.

  • Gerry N.

    Don’t forget the bronze wine cups lined with lead to sweeten the crappy acidic red wine that will be served by buxom slave girls dressed in diaphanuous garments.

  • In those circumstances he very well might forget the bronze cups and the crappy wine entirely.

  • Hmm

    Are slave girls provided or do you have to bring your own?

  • RAB

    If he tried that Natalie, he may end eating crow and having his eyes pecked out by a maltese Falcon. :-)

  • Brian Swisher

    Avoid the otter’s noses…

  • Allan Ripley

    RAB mentioned this condiment. If you can make it through the garum, you’ll have my awed respect. Take plenty of peppermints with you.

  • To be truly authentic, no underwear can be worn under the toga.

    However, seeing as how there’ll be wine served, do your best to remember to fight the urge to stand behind the nearest seated person and place of your junk on their shoulder while declaring yourself Senator Testicles (pronounced “tes-tik-lees”).

    While that may be appropriate behavior at US fraternity parties, I get the feeling that this is not a gathering of that nature. Also, even some frat parties do not consider this appropriate behavior. Yes, I was once stabbed with a plastic fork by a seated woman.

  • lucklucky

    Warning! maybe some mistress will poison the wife dish or a political competitor.

  • Flat Eric

    Rancid fish sauce. For the puddings.

    Tough bastards, those Romans.

  • Mosus Jeffersonicus

    Will the vomiting be done at the table, or in an authentic vomitorium in an adjacent room?

  • RAB

    Everyone seems to get that one wrong Mosus…

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vomitorium

  • RRS

    Phil -

    I may be mistaken, but isn’t that Greek title in Philosophy currently reserved for the current shadow Chancellor?

  • Mosus Jeffersonicus

    Good catch, and thank you, RAB. Alas, for that misconception will be sorely missed.

  • PersonFromPorlock

    …while declaring yourself Senator Testicles (pronounced “tes-tik-lees”)…..Yes, I was once stabbed with a plastic fork by a seated woman.

    Posted by Phil at March 10, 2012 06:41 AM

    Sounds more Greek to me: Testacles Agonistes. (and yup, I do know what “Agonistes” really means – but anything for a good line!)

  • Subotai Bahadur

    A culinary play-by-play description, recipes, or source of the recipes used would be appreciated.

    As far as garum, from what I understand, it does not require any special fortitude to consume. The modern western version is Worcestershire sauce, which is akin to the spiced versions of garum, albeit weak. If you have eaten Thai or Vietnamese food, you have encountered “fish sauce” or nuoc mam, which most find quite bearable; albeit there are 50 and 100 yard versions that can be used to track someone through the jungle. Compare the recipes for both and they are not that different. Modern Italian cooking features Colatura d’alici sauce which is akin to garum.

    Subotai Bahadur

  • Will Helen Mirren be invited?

  • J.M. Heinrichs

    You might enjoy this Food Timeline section

    Cheers

  • Andrew Duffin

    The late, great, Keith Floyd did the definitive research on this.

    Look it up, it’s hilarious.

  • RAB

    Thanks for the recipes J.M. H. They look very appetising indeed. When I grew up in South Wales, all the Cafes in the Valleys were run by immigrant Italians, so we had the best food, coffee and ice cream in the UK. But judging from the amount of recipes in the first course alone that contain Leeks, well no wonder they felt right at home! :-)

    No mention of the dreaded Garum though I notice, and Romans used to put it on everything, much in the same way that Two Jags Prezza uses HP Sauce.

  • Laird

    We are going to receive an after-action report, with photos, right?