We are developing the social individualist meta-context for the future. From the very serious to the extremely frivolous... lets see what is on the mind of the Samizdata people.

Samizdata, derived from Samizdat /n. - a system of clandestine publication of banned literature in the USSR [Russ.,= self-publishing house]

Shock horror! Prince Harry is just a normal bloke!

Who would have thought it? Prince Harry is just a normal bloke in spite of the weird circumstances of his upbringing.

The News of the World said it had a video of the army lieutenant calling a colleague a “Paki” while pretending to make a phonecall to the Queen. [...] During the faked call to the Queen, as the Commander in Chief of the British Army, the prince says, “Granny I’ve got to go, send my love to the Corgis and Grandpa.” He finishes saying: “I’ve got to go, got to go, bye. God Save You … yeah, that’s great.”

[...]

In a separate incident, Prince Harry is heard calling another officer cadet a “raghead”, the News of the World said. [...] The statement continued: “Prince Harry used the term ‘raghead’ to mean Taleban or Iraqi insurgent.”

Sounds like a great guy to me. Sure, I am all for abominating racism like any other form of odious collectivism (like socialism for example, which is tyranny for all rather than just tyranny for certain racial groups), but this hypersensitivity to any politically incorrect use of language is really annoying. I know Pakistani people who use the word ‘Paki’ for Christ’s sake! And ‘raghead’? Kill the enemy by all means but lets not insult them, eh?

This is the comment I left on the BBC site:

Wow, you mean he actually speaks like the 90% of the population who are not members of the media/political class?

77 comments to Shock horror! Prince Harry is just a normal bloke!

  • Andrew X

    Personally, I’m hoping either he or his brother stages a state coup that seizes control of the government, puts at its head someone who actually cares for the past, present and future of the nation (and not literally everyone and anyone who is NOT of the nation, and them only), and might thus stop the seemingly inevitible destruction of the entity that could once call itself without embarrasment, “Great Britian”.

    I’m also hoping to win the lottery, so I guess we all know where hoping gets you.

  • Frank

    “Cry ‘God for Harry, England and Saint George!'”

  • Sometimes the media does exaggerate small things and it is not really necessary because I am sure that most of them speak like that too (along with most of the population.) As long as its not demeaning, it shouldn’t be a problem. I too know many Pakistani people who cal themselves “Paki” and don’t mind if others do too. As for ragheads, that shouldn’t even be a concern because who is going to be offended by that? Does someone consider themselves a raghead and hence will be offended?

  • permanentexpat

    I picked this ‘story’ up from Drudge which pointed to one of the more sanctimonious & s****y Brit MSM rags, the comment section thereof clearly showing a majority in favour of Harry (who should have known better than to leave his stupid a**e exposed to a real enemy)…including quite a few Pakis (surely a diminutive no worse than ‘Brits’)
    The British MSM is probably the World’s worst, even including the NYT. The PC-ridden plagiarists & downright falsifiers masquerading as ‘journos’ would be better employed as garbage collectors (no insult intended to those who actually do it) because there is no doubt they have the nose for it.
    What a bunch of f*****g scumbags.

  • Beauchamp

    Yeah and rappers use the n-word all the time, but you should see the fuss people make when I use it on the bus? It’s PC gone mad!!!

  • “Kill the enemy by all means but let’s not insult them” LOL

    “I’ve got to go, got to go, bye. God Save You …” That is a genuinely funny joke, well done Prince H.

    I also admit to having used the word ‘Paki’ on occasions.

  • Oddly enough, when I was a child in Australia, “Paki” was not an offensive word at all. It bore pretty much the same relationship to “Pakistani” that “Aussie” did to “Australian”. I was slightly puzzled when I came to the UK and discovered that it was an offensive term here. Things might have changed in Australia since – but a few years ago it was probably the second most likely word (number one being “thong”) with which Australians would manage to inadvertently say something offensive when in the UK. Do Americans still do this with “fanny”?

    As for Prince Harry, the best thing would be for the media to leave him alone and to let him serve honourably in the army for a few years without any special treatment. And that includes not making an issue of it if he speaks the same way as other members of his regiment.

  • The army is kind of odd.

    Johnson Beharry was known to his mates as ‘Paki’, according to his book (highly recommended).

  • The army is kind of odd.

    Like the guy says, he’s only talking the way 90% of the rest of us talk so the army is kinda normal, it’s the media and professional parasite class of politically correct scum who are odd. Prince Harry has been up the sharp end and his detractors are not fit to lift pen. Scum one and all.

  • Prince Harry is just a normal bloke

    From what I gather (admittedly not following the Royal news in general) both he and his brother turned out pretty normal. That in itself is quite remarkable, considering their background, their parents’ and the rest of their family’ history. Someone there has done a good job, after all.

  • Gib

    I agree with Mr Jennings.

    In Australia, the rival cricket teams include the Poms, the Pakis, the Kiwis, and India. And we’re the Aussies.

    Is there anything wrong in England with calling the little shop on the high street that sells lots of different cheap stuff “the Paki shop” ?

    Only if there’s a problem with referencing the Walkabout as “the Aussie pub”.

    It’s just a shortening of the name of the country!! I can understand “rag-head” or even “Pom” being offensive, but if you can’t handle the name of your country being shortened into slang, you need to take a long hard look at yourself…

  • Johnathan Pearce

    I recall that an old, rather hyper-sensitive colleague got upset when Japanese were referred to as “Japs” but perfectly okay with the expression “Nips”. Weird

    Go Harry!

  • Odd isn’t it? If someone hails from the Stans,Afghanistan,Uzbekistan,for example they are Afghans and Uzbeks respectively. If however they hail from Pakistan,they are deemed Pakistanis.It it because they have the bomb?

  • Alan Peakall

    A recollection of mine is of a Cantonese, who, having learnt that the term “Chinaman” was offensive, performed the natural generalization and concluded that he was obliged to call a Frenchman “a French”.

  • Paul Marks

    I believe “Paki” means “pure” – as in “Pakistan – land of the pure”.

    The pure being Muslim – and the impure being the rest of us.

    In short it was first meant as an insult to everyone who was not part of the group – and has somehow turned got turned round.

    As for racist language – almost everyone used to use such language.

    Which is why the modern P.C. types are correct to say everyone (or rather almost everyone) in the past was a criminal – because they define the use of such language as criminal.

    History becomes simple – with almost everyone (Winston Churchill and so on) being bad guys.

    Oddly enough Karl Marx and so on (who used extreme racist language a lot) are not judged by the same standards.

  • What Ron said occurred to me. I think (c.f. Michael above) that “Paki” is an unusually British hang-up.

    It’s all utter bollocks of course… Just saw some er… Pakistani on the telly raising Cain over it. You’d think people actually had more important things to worry about… It’s truly pathetic.

    As to the “ragheads” jibe… Well fuck me backwards with a scott’s pine. It reminds me of the line from Tristram Shandy…

    “Our troops swore terribly in Flanders”, said Uncle Toby, “but nothing to that”.

  • RAB

    The phobia over this word goes back to the media scare story of the late 60s early 70s,

    Skinhead Paki bashing.
    How many were actually bashed it is hard to say.

    But just to wind the PC brigade up, let us all start calling Bangladeshees Banglas (or are they already?)

  • I think it’s more that Indians get shitty when people call them Pakis.

  • Slightly OT, in 1971 our headmaster at a school in Kent expelled a student. Instead of telling him to “Pack your bags and leave.” He told the skinhead to “Bash your Pakis and Leave”

  • Ian B

    “Paki” is actually an acronym of the four provinces that formed pakistan- Punjab, somewhere beginning with A, Kashmir and, um India or something, I dunno, state school geography, spent our whole time learning why the maori are oppressed, haven’t a clue.

    Anyway, that’s why it’s called Pakistan. Nothing to do with muslim insults.

    As to whether “paki” is racist- well a word becomes racist when used in a derogatory fashion, so maybe it is. The problem really is what the word “racism” means. Most people think it means “being nasty to people because of their race”, but the intellectual definition as used by the ruling class is the post-marxist one- hegemonic oppression, which in practise means that only whites and Jews (hegemonic races) can be racist, by definition. Practically speaking, any use of a racial term or definition which isn’t used to promote the interests of the oppressed race is racist, so you are only allowed to use racial terms when saying something positive, or anti-hegemonic. So you can say “pakistanis are oppressed” or “pakistanis have a great culture, we have so much to learn from them” but you can’t say “pakistanis have a stupid religion”, because that’s racist.

    So now that’s sorted out, if Counting Cats or Nick M read this, what’s up with the Counting Cats site? It’s been down for a couple of days now. At least I can’t get to it anyway.

    I have this sneaking suspicion this comment will get smitten. Let’s see…

  • Gabriel

    This is what a civilization in an advanced state of senility looks like. When the barbarians are at the gates, we’ll still be worrying about the epithets we use about them: “differently head-geared”, perhaps.

    As a side note, I thought institutional-racism was a problem because it impedes the police force’s ability to fight crime in a multiracial society, exemplified in the Steven Lawrence case. Why on earth should it be a problem in the army?

    Also off topic, in the “raghead” video I was surprised at how cogent and intelligent Harry sounded, considering his struggle to get A-Levels at Britain’s poshest school, even with cheating. I guess the army’s training facilities are still pretty good.

  • Ian B

    Maybe we should consider the hypothesis that A Levels don’t measure intelligence, Gabriel.

  • Gabriel

    Maybe we should consider the hypothesis that A Levels don’t measure intelligence, Gabriel.

    No they don’t. However, they do measure idiocy. If you can’t get a trio of Cs at A-Level after so may dumbing-downs, something is seriously bloody wrong with you. That doesn’t necessarily mean you’re dumb, but usually it does. That’s why I’m surprised at Harry’s articulacy because people getting his sort of grades at my school couldn’t put a sentence together without getting a headache.

    However, this is, as I said, off-topic.

  • Gabriel

    *(If I may put on my icendiary old fogey hat for second. )The most plausible hypothesis is that he was a lazy little burke and a spell in the army did him the world of good, as it would for a lot of people.

  • Brian

    He joined the army, didn’t he? And one of the benefits of joining the army is that you can say ‘bowb’ whenever you like.

  • Gabriel,
    Dumbing down is more subtle than that… What has happened is that education has become very much “teaching to the tests”. Teachers and kids have got very good at it over the last few years. This is how you get folks with 3 As who are thicker than a whale ommelette.

    Anyway, the guy who was “abused” is a highly-rated ( overseas Sword of Honour) Army Captain… I somehow suspect in his operational career he will have to put up with a heck of a lot worse being thrown at him than being called “Paki”. Hell. People might even shoot at him.

    Just heard a Royal Marine was killed in the ‘stan (presumably by “ragheads”). And it barely rated a mention on the BBC compared to the coverage of this utter non-story about Prince Harry. Yes, Gabriel. It is raving mad. I wouldn’t say senile. Just nuts.

  • ElMondo

    Oh, my! A soldier acting a little coarse??

    My goodness, what’s this world coming too! Someone convene a courts martial!!

    [/sarcasm]

  • Gabriel

    Yes, Gabriel.

    Huh? No variant of “it pains me to say this, but…”?

  • Alec

    Nick M: ‘…….thicker than a whale ommelette.’

    LOL

  • Alec

    Yes, it did make LOL more than once.

  • Ian B

    Gabriel, much as it pains me to say this,

    Maybe he didn’t try very hard. “Thick people can’t get A-Levels” doesn’t mean the same thing as “every clever person gets A-Levels”. People struggle to get diplomas because these scraps of paper are necessary for societal progression in our “dipomocracy”. They’re golden tickets into the hierarchy, or at least somewhere above the gutter.

    He’s a member of the royal family, he’s second in line to be Emperor of India after his brother. What the feck does he need A-Levels for? He’s not going to end up at Turnip Street Job Centre, is he?

    “Hmm, so you’d like to work for our company. What qualifications do you have?”

    “MY BROTHER IS THE FUCKING KING OF FUCKING ENGLAND, FUCKSTICK!”

    “Welcome aboard!”

  • Gabriel. I have agreed with you in the past. I shall agree with you in the future.

    Just not that often ;-)

  • Alas Alec,
    It’s stolen from Blackadder.

  • Laird

    Not sure what a “whale ommelette” is. How would one go about making it, and why would it necessarily be “thick”?

  • Yes I think Ian B has it right as to why Harry might not have seen much point to busting a gut to gain academic qualifications.

    I know quite a lot of intelligent people from well off families who have minimal formal qualifications for much the same reason… they too knew they were not going to get their jobs by waving qualifications in the air but rather through contacts or going into a family business. That does not indicate stupidity but rather a quite realistic assessment of their likely future circumstances.

  • tdh

    So, a woman or a British military auxiliary can be called Fanny, but it’s somehow more obscene than “buttocks” in Britain anyway? How’s that work?

    OK, if the “Pak” in “Pakistan” is the “purify” derived from the “cook” root, that would make calling someone a “Paki” nearly the verbal equivalent, connotations aside, of calling someone a “prude.” It’s amazing how many positive or neutral words acquire negative additional meanings because of the circumstances in which they are applied; “bailout” is well on its way. Oh, well, it’s better than being told that you look like an Obama supporter.

    Is it impolite to call someone, say, “Stan” (south Asian “-sthan” meaning “place”)? And is there a market for translators from English to PCish? These are, um, weighty topics.

  • So, a woman or a British military auxiliary can be called Fanny, but it’s somehow more obscene than “buttocks” in Britain anyway? How’s that work?

    Because it doesn’t mean “buttocks” in Britian. It means “vulva”. Which is how many Americans get into trouble for saying it in public. (Fewer now, I think, because it’s become a rather old-fashioned word in America. But it still means “buttocks” in the US, and is regarded as both more salacious and more crude in the UK.)

  • Tony Hollick

    There seems to be some insensitivity in some of the comments.

    There are very many excellent Jewish jokes which are told by Jews at Jewish expense. But it’s not quite the same when they’re told by non-Jews at Jewish expense.

    “For many years, Talmudic scholars have pondered the question: ‘Why did G*d create the Goyim?’

    After all these years the best explanation anyone has been able to come up with is:

    ‘Well, SOMEONE has to buy retail…'”

    (With due apology to anyone who is offended).

    Tony

  • Ian B

    Hence the unintentional hilarity caused in the early 80s by ZZ Top singing “she’s got hair, down to her fanny” on Top Of The Pops.

  • Peter Melia

    Surely that Pakistani army captain cannot be ashamed of being identified with his native land? And why should he be bothered because a Brit has called him a Paki?
    From time to time I visit the States and it bothers me not that my friends there refer to me as “a Brit”.
    I’ve been called “a Brit” for years, and consider it an honour to be identified by foreigners by part of the name of my country. What an amazing country it once was. Such a history.

  • Ian B

    Well, if my previous posting about post-marxism does arrive from its smitten waiting room, it’ll be after everyone has gone home :(

    So, to repeat the gist of it- trying to discuss racism without understanding the context used by the intellectuals who dominate the culture is pointless. Racism is defined as oppression by a hegemonic race of an oppressed race. In practise, since whites (and Jews) are the only races counted as hegemonic, this means racism is unidirectional and involves any recognition of race which is not intentioned to reduce the hegemonic oppression. You may invoke racial distinctions when redressing the power balance (e.g. by affirmative action) but not otherwise; this is the basis of multicultural dogma. It also means that it is impossible for allusion to a hegemonic race (whites and jews), however intended, to be racist.

    So it’s no use saying “I don’t mind being called a Brit or an Aussie”. The people running things don’t define racism that way; and since their view is the only one allowed in the public sphere**, that’s the only one that matters.

    **It is ideologically hegemonic, in Gramscian terms, though the progressive elite, who always characterise themselves to both themselves and others as plucky outsiders despite being bodily wrapped around every lever of power, consider it ideologically counterhegemonic.

  • I freely admit to having had something of a sheltered upbringing, but I have yet to make the intellectual connection between the term “Paki” and its apparent overtones as a “derogatory racist insult”.

    If someone who hails from Afghanistan is an Afghan, and (presumably) someone who hails from Tajikistan is a Tajik – certainly if they hadn’t been thoroughly done-over by Saddam Hussein, a Kurd would have hailed from Kurdistan – why can someone who hails from Pakistan, not be referred to as a Paki without there being an associated implicit insult? If, by to-the-letter equivalence, they were referred to as a “Pak”, would that be better?

    For instance, if the video had been shot while the protagonist was recently on tour in Afghanistan, he had panned the camera around his unit and (hypothetically) referred to a native interpreter as “my little Afghan friend”, would anyone have batted an eye?

    As an Englishman, I don’t mind being called a Brit by anyone, a Limey by Americans or a Pom by Australians (although if they prefix this with “whingeing”, I may make good-natured reference to the old practice of Transportation), so what is it, about the term “Paki”, which apparently makes it derogatory and racist?

    Is it an Alf Garnett thing? Is it down to the privations endured by the current inhabitants of Pakistan when the formation of the Pakistani state was botched following India’s independence?

    Seriously, I just don’t get it, and would appreciate some honest enlightening…

  • In the UK, “FANY” is also an acronym which expands to “First Aid Nursing Yeomanry”.

    It is also rumoured to be used as a “cover” role by ladies who do rather more interesting things for a living, but Let’s Not Go There…

  • @Tony:

    Of course, some of us Goyim reckon that we evolved from a path which gives us and monkeys, a common ancestor.

    This is another thread entirely, of course ;-).

    (…and no offence taken :-) )

  • Well, the obvious difference is that the Brits are not an “oppressed” minority in the US. Neither are the Afghans or the Uzbeks in the UK, AFAIK (in reply to one of the earlier comments).

    Words in themselves are meaningless. They are assigned their meanings by individuals, both the speakers and the listeners, every time they are spoken or written. And it’s the meanings, not the words that really count: did Harry mean it in an offensive sense, and did his listeners, including the Pakistani guy in question, choose to take offense regardless of the speaker’s intent.

    On an earlier thread about Gaza there were some commenters that used the politically correct term “Jews”, but with the contents and the tone of their comments they could have just as well used “kikes” instead. Wouldn’t have made much difference to me personally.

  • Ian B

    There are two comments of mine in smite limbo which address the post-marxist (i.e. political class) explanation of what is racist and what isn’t, and why trying to discuss it rationally misses the point.

    I don’t know how the rest of you are getting past the smite bot. Are you bribing Perry or something?

    :)

    PS Does anyone know why Counting Cats (the blog, not the blogger) has vanished off the interwebs?

  • DocBud

    According to Wikipedia, Chaudhary Rahmat Ali, who coined the word Pakistan, said of the name: ‘Pakistan’ is both a Persian and an Urdu word. It is composed of letters taken from the names of all our Indian Sub-continent homelands; that is, Panjab, Afghanistan (Pashtunistan), Kashmir, Sindh (including Kach and Kathiawar), Tukharistan, Afghanistan, and Balochistan. It means the land of the Paks- the spiritually pure and clean.’

    In Midnight’s Children, Rushdie refers to Pakistan, with heavy irony, as ‘the Land of the Pure’.

  • RAB

    Ian B, they are having a little trouble mechanically I understand.
    Happens to everyone, I ‘m also given to understand…
    This site has had it’s problems too, in the past.

    What is the appropreate phrase?

    I am assured normal sevice will be resumed as soon as possible!

    Though what is “Normal” for the deranged buggers who post over there, I have no idea! ;-)

  • TheAbstractor

    American here. Would there be anything offensive across the pond about using the word “Indo-Pak” as in “There are about five Indo-Pak grocery stores on my drive into work, with big banners saying ‘Indo-Pak Grocery Store’ spelled out in big bold letters in front of them.”?

  • Tony Hollick

    Dave:

    Gasp! You mean we share a common earthworm? (As Ann Coulter would say)).

    If course, we all have Noah as an ancestor — “It’s in the Book!” >:-}

    Tony

  • Subotai Bahadur

    If I may offer a thought that hasn’t come up yet. Prince Harry is in the military. There is a high probability that he and his mates have either been in situations where death or grievous bodily injury were possible, or they are training for such. From what limited attention I have paid to the Princes, it seems Harry wants to carry his own weight and take the same risks as everyone else in his unit. Reality.

    In my past career I and the officers I had the privilege of working with had to face the most dangerous criminals in Colorado, and one of my main worries was making sure that everyone made it home alive at the end of shift. I trusted my life to my crew of blueshirts, and they trusted me.

    I know that it is not the height of political correctness, but in organizations where survival is not guaranteed, there is a thing called bonding. Those officers I was lucky enough to have as my crew on the shift were literally my brothers. And like brothers, we yank each other’s chains, swap mock insults, and generally rag on each other. I’m Chinese. If anyone calls me a Chink, my inclination is to place them in need of hospital care or a post-mortem. It would have to be sublimated, but that is the reaction. Simple fact there. EXCEPT those of my brothers who have put their ass on the line with me. They’ve called me Chink, I’ve called them Wop, Polack, and whatever else was appropriate, and a number of things that are anatomically improbable. And we would fight anyone outside of our group that tried to use the same terms on us, who hadn’t earned that right the hard way.

    I understand that the group he was talking about was his own people, in transit. I rather suspect that they were his own ‘band of brothers’. I haven’t heard of any of his people complaining, so I am going to make a first order assumption, subject to disproof; that amongst themselves that “Paki” was the guy’s nickname. And subject to that disproof, I will assume that it means that Leftenant [I think that is your term] Harry Windsor is doing it right. It is a pity that Britain is probably not going to last long enough for either Prince to take the throne. Maybe one of them would have had the cojones to tell HMG to fold the treaty yielding British sovereignty to the EU until it was all corners, and place it where your National Health Service would put them on a year long waiting list to see a proctologist.

    Subotai Bahadur

  • In my youth, it was common for Australian males to greet each other as “bastard”, as in, “how are ya, ya old bastard?”

    Or, “You see that fucking bastard over there – yeah him – let’s go have a drink with him”.

    It was an expression of the tightest form of bonding between mates.

    The trouble with these PC types is that they’ve never had any really close male mates, and they just don’t get it. Tofu sucking, limp dick, rollneck sweater wearing toerags the lot of them.

    As for insults, last time I went to the cricket here in Sydney, the crowd spent most of the match chanting “curry munching fuckwits” at the opposition. I don’t remember any fuss being made about that.

  • Back in the days when the rather simian looking Peter Reid managed Sunderland the NUFC lads used to chant, “Peter Reid’s got a monkey’s heid” to the tune of “Yellow Submarine”. I remember telling non-Geordies about this and them just assuming this was awfully racist.

    Peter Reid is white. And he really does look like he’s got a monkey’s heid.

  • Sunfish

    Subotai-
    Surely you’re not suggesting that people in the emergency services might use coarse language? I would be shocked, shocked I tell you. (See this? This is my ‘shocked’ face.)

    Not that I just listened to two of the guys reprise the entire “You know how I know you’re gay” scene over their Nextels or anything. (God help us if those ever get recorded…)

    +1 to whoever commented “By all means, kill them, but don’t insult them.” You win teh internetz.

    RAB:

    Though what is “Normal” for the deranged buggers who post over there, I have no idea! ;-)

    Those are some strange, strange people. Especially that guy who drools over the pictures of the ladies of the IDF. He’s almost as bad as the guy who knows all the musicians. ;-B

  • RAB

    I’m not suprised that those of you in the rest of the world are puzzled by this story.
    Only in Britain, it seems, that we indulge in this sort of twatedness.

    The trouble with these PC types is that they’ve never had any really close male mates

    I think you may have put your finger on it there, Boy on a Bike, the PC types are a bunch of “no mates” that nobody wanted to play with, so now they are getting their revenge by making up the rules.

    Thank you Sunfish, I knew I could rely on you.
    I teed the ball up so nicely for you. ;-)

  • Only in Britain, it seems, that we indulge in this sort of twatedness.

    You haven’t heard of Don Imus(Link), have you RAB. Granted Imus, unlike Harry, is a rather unpleasant character, but that is beside the point.

  • OK folks.

    Cats had an unrequested sub-optimal event on the server*. Normal service shall be resumed shortly. The Aussie (if I am allowed to call him that within the terms of the current debate) is stripped to the waist and manfully wrestling the bits (and bytes) back together again whilst I’m cracking the whip. It’s like a scene from Mad Max 3 I can tells ya…

    Oh, and what Subotai Bahadur said… Absolutely.

    *If I may get technical… That means it “fucked-up”.

  • Kim du Toit

    Eeeeh fuck ‘em if they can’t take a joke.

  • Laird

    If I may return to the “Fanny” digression (which I found fascinating; I never knew that it was such a disreputable word in Brit-speak), does the spelling matter? Are you all atwitter about the US’s convulsions over Fannie Mae? (Do you all have a little giggle when some pompous news anchor talks about it with such gravity?) And what do you folks call those ubiquitous fashion accessories we call “fanny packs”?

    Inquiring minds want to know.

  • Well. It’s rather mild is “fanny”. Sort of like Mrs Slocombe’s “pussy”. But Fannie Mae did cause ribaldry in the Nick M household. Ditto “Fanny packs”… Oh and it’s always spelt with a “y”.

    You Americans have a hell of a lot of way to go to catch-up with us when it comes to cussing and sexual euphemism.

    I suggest US readers get their wanking-spanners on this. You will stagger colleagues, estrange your family and will be excommunicated from any faith you happen to profess. But at least you’ll be able to swear like a real man.

  • RAB

    I obviously come from a more robust generation than the thin skinned shavers we are rearing now.

    Two of my best friends in High School had the nicknames, Plug and Scab respectively.

    Plug was named after a character in the Bash Street Kids in the British Comic the Beano.
    He was 7feet tall by the age of 14, had pebble specs and an overbite not often seen outside farmyards.
    He also had the physical coordination and social skills of a zombie. But he had mates. Us. So he was happy to be known as plug, even though it should have been a gross insult, far from being an idiot you see, he was actually a maths genius and also very funny.

    Scab was so named (now this is cruel but children frequently are) not because he had a nasty habit of crossing picket lines in the Socialist Republic of South Wales, that we all grew up in, but because he had the worst case of eczema I have ever seen.
    His entire body was a flakey weeping mess.
    The cracks on the palms of his hands looked like the Grand Canyon.
    He too was happy to answer to Scab, because he had mates, and after all it was only stating the bleeding obvious.
    Even our teachers used to call him Scab until sixth form, when they started using our christian names and being all friendly. We all damn near fainted!

  • Subotai Bahadur

    Nick M.

    Sadly the book you cited does not seem to have reached the former Colonies, in either used or new form. Pity, what. Now I will have to order the [multiple expletives deleted] from the UK or the Aussies.

    The lengths I go to to improve my vocabulary.

    Subotai Bahadur

  • Laird

    Subotai, a previous edition appears to be available on Amazon.com. If you move quickly you might snag it before I do!

  • Subotai, Laird,

    I neglected to mention that Viz, the Profanisaurus’s parent is based in Newcastle and a crash course in Geordie might help.

  • Humbug

    I do so like this guy now!

    Hell, I’m an american of mainly German descent and I get called a ‘Kraut’, as well as a ‘Yank’ by my ‘Jock’ fiancee’s lot. I don’t go calling the ACLU ever time somebody makes reference to the evil nazis, whilst talking about my heritage. I remember one time when I asked a Mexican American friend of a friend, who I knew for certain spoke Spanish, what a few Mexicans had just said, since I could not understand them for the most part. She turned to me, playing the race card and said, “OMG, why would I know, because I’m Mexican?” To which, I replied, “Because you’re Mexian-American, whose parents are from Mexico and you live in a Mexican neighborhood. So don’t get bent out of shape! Somebody asks me ‘Sprechen Sie Deutsch?’ and I smile and say ‘Ja, aber nur ein bissen.’, but then being German isn’t something to be ashamed of”…to which I only saw her jaw drop and she walked away, probably telling everyone I was a nazi. I think people don’t even realize the degree to which they play the race card, because certain people are taught to play it from infancy.

  • tdh

    Further proof that “bailout” has become obscene: Sleazy politicians are now employing the euphemism ‘financial rescue.” I wonder how many years (months, now?) it will take for the new evasion or its variants to become as despised as “welfare.”

    Anyway, I forgot to mention that it speaks well of Harry that he was willing to engage in a non-mindless prank. I suppose that if he’d let out a torrent of expletives, instead, we’d never’ve heard of it.

  • RAB

    If any other demented buggers are interested,

    Counting Cats is back up ;-)

  • pj

    I’d be fascinated to know if the Pakistan High Commission Rolls still has the number plate PAK1

  • RAB

    Oh for fucks sake!
    As if this story wasn’t “Non” enough…

    I am listening to the radio, and I have had repeated to me about five times on the rolling 5 live news, the ultimate non story…

    The Prince of Wales has been calling an Asian friend who plays on his Polo team, Sooty, in an affectionate manner, for 25 years!

    Fuckin shock and horror!

    No offence has been taken or intended by either party, but I am regailed with this information, about every 15 minutes.
    What the fuck is the story here, and what are they trying to “Proove?

    God knows what would have ensued if he had called him Sweep!

    Britain has the most trivial minded media in the entire civilised world!

  • Bod

    RAB,

    You might have to explain the relevance to the non-Brit, under-30 crowd.

    Me? I was disappointed when Robinson’s dropped the Gollywog badges.

  • RAB

    Ok Bod, as you cant be arsed ;-)

    Sooty and Sweep, was a childrens program that my generation grew up with on telly. I am roughly the same age as Buggerlugs, and will castigate him for many many things, but being a racist isnt one of them.

    It was a couple of glove puppets Called Sooty and Sweep (there were extra characters later) done in frankly dismal fashion by one Harry Corbett.
    Look I thought it complete shit at the age of 4!
    It was insulting my intellegence!
    NO folks it was absolutely dire, but inexplicably, very popular. Like the craze for Daniel Boone and his Davey Crockett hats that swept the Nation in the late fifties, well all had a Sooty in our xmas stockings.
    It has now been taken over by Corbetts son.
    But the point is that it was completely and utterly innocent of any malicious intent.
    It was a glove puppet bear with an orange body and black ears, with his supposed mate, Sweep, a dog Cross species sex! very risque!
    No it was , and is, complete childrens rubbish, and frankly very badly done (what we used to put up with to watch the magic of flickering moving light in a box in the corner of the room!)
    And as to the Robinsons Gollies Bod (I have mentioned this before but it got smited for some inexplicable reason, and never came back, oh a million threads ago)
    I worked with an Jamacian lad who had every badge and thought them an inspiration!

  • RAB

    I just did.
    And guess what?
    I got smited again!
    If the comment turns up you will see how daft that is!

    Perry, have a word with your Bot eh!

  • You know when Corbett went on tour with his puppets – Sooty’s box always had “air holes”. True story.

  • RAB

    Yes the bloke was a complete nutter Nick.

    And thanks to the Managment.
    That was the fastest turnaround on a smited comment I have made ever!

    And boy have I been smited in my time! (havent we all?)

  • David B

    Spot on, Subotai. My wife’s Chinese and creases up when she calls herself a chink!