President Bush today announced that the “War on Transnationalism” was going even better than expected, with all three of the EU, UN and NATO about to collapse at the first sign of an American gun.
“Our troops are ready and waiting,” said Mr Bush, “and we are confident that all they need to do is stroll into Iraq sporting their latest combat gear, and the Tranzis will immediately start begging to be taken prisoner.”
“But how will we know when this so-called War is actually won?” asked a news reporter.
“Nothing short of the total collapse of political globalisation will satisfy our troops,” said Mr Bush. “Iraq is only the beginning. But we are developing better and more effective Weapons of Mass Happiness so that people can get liberated more quickly and easily, and have more fun when it happens. Did you know McDonalds is offering 15 minutes of internet time with every Extra Value Meal now?”
“Yeah?” The reporter eyed the clock.
“That’s right. Prime Minister Blair thought of it one day when he went out for an Egg McMuffin and had a sudden urge to catch up with Samizdata.net, only he’d left his ibook at home.”
“And is it true that you are really just Blair’s pet poodle, so desperate to please him that you jump on planes at a moment’s notice in order to be at his side?”
“We have a special relationship,” said Mr Bush, giving the reporter a Very Hard Stare until his victim almost fainted.