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Azathoth: crisis of trust

Crisis for that last amorphous blight of nethermost confusion which blasphemes and bubbles at the centre of all infinity as trust hits record low, the Guardian reports.

Public confidence in the boundless daemon-sultan Azathoth, whose name no lips dare speak aloud, and who gnaws hungrily in inconceivable, unlighted chambers beyond time amidst the muffled, maddening beating of vile drums and the thin, monotonous whine of accursed flutes; to which detestable pounding and piping dance slowly, awkwardly, and absurdly the gigantic ultimate gods, the blind, voiceless, tenebrous, mindless Other Gods whose soul and messenger is the crawling chaos Nyarlathotep has fallen to historically low levels in the six biggest EU countries, raising fundamental questions about its democratic legitimacy more than three years into the primordial idiot god’s worst ever crisis, new data shows.

The blind idiot god encircled by his flopping horde of mindless and amorphous dancers, and lulled by the thin monotonous piping of a demonic flute held in nameless paws “could do much better if its institutions coordinated better”, according to a press release issued today.

17 comments to Azathoth: crisis of trust

  • Wow you do a really good Lovecraft. You almost make Brussels sound exciting…

  • M. Thompson

    As bad as transnational progressivism might be, it at least cares that humanity exists so it can be shaped properly, whilst Cthulhu and Friends do not.

  • Laird

    So why wasn’t this article posted under the nom de web of Samizdata Illuminatus?

  • ~FR

    That was wonderful Natalie, thank you.

  • @M. Thompson:

    Nope. There is a basic similarity between the ‘servants’ of the EU and those of Cthulhu. It is their fundamental belief in the doctrine of “The weak are meat the strong do eat”.

    Ph’nglui mglw’nafh Cthulhu R’lyeh wgah’nagl fhtagn (“In his house at R’lyeh, dead Cthulhu waits dreaming”)

  • chuck

    The horror! The horror!

  • Brian Swisher

    The mad Arab, Abdul Alhazred, could not have said it better….

  • Natalie Solent (Essex)

    Laird,

    “So why wasn’t this article posted under the nom de web of Samizdata Illuminatus?”

    Dost thou think those truly illuminated by the diseased and eldritch light that plays unseen over the accursed blind god reveal themselves by such foolish titles?

  • Paul Marks

    Natalie – you are not showing “proper respect” for these individuals and using their language.

    How do you expect them to “take you seriously”.

  • Andy Hatton

    Wow… so that’s Angela Merkel’s official title… I did wonder. I see now why it’s usually just abbreviated to Chancellor… bit less of a mouthful.

    Must be a bugger being announced at all those official dinners though…

  • Vinegar Joe

    Cameron does have the “Innsmouth look”…..

  • veryretired

    Every once in a while us uncultured American kids would sure like to be able to figure out what you all are going on about.

    Like now…

  • Veryretired,

    In this case the inspiration is actually homegrown American, in the person of one H.P. Lovecraft.

  • Slartibartfarst

    @Natalise Solent: Priceless. Thankyou.

    By the way, I think @John Galt could be making a misquote with:

    Ph’nglui mglw’nafh Cthulhu R’lyeh wgah’nagl fhtagn (“In his house at R’lyeh, dead Cthulhu waits dreaming”)

    I could be mistaken, I suppose, but I’m pretty sure I recall that is a line in Welsh from the school Welsh hymn book we used to have to sing from at Morning Assembly in Llantrwstyll Grammar School in Llandrandindoch Vale district, North Wales, in the sixties. I forget the translation. My Welsh is very rusty now.

  • By the way, I think @John Galt could be making a misquote…

    Pretty sure its correct. That was how it was written in blood across the chest of the tax inspector we sacrificed to Angela Merkel on Wednesday.

    Cthulhu nights are Sunday.

    :-)

  • That was how it was written in blood across the chest of the tax inspector we sacrificed to Angela Merkel on Wednesday.

    Cthulhu nights are Sunday.

    Just another Friday noon at SI – nothing to see here, move along…:-O

  • Fortescue Bullrout

    “And at the last from inner Egypt came
    The strange dark one to whom the fellahs bowed,
    Silent and lean and cryptically proud,
    And wrapped in fabrics red as sunset flame.
    Throngs pressed around, frantic for his commands,
    But leaving, could not tell what they had heard;
    While through the nations spread the awestruck word,
    That wild beasts followed him and licked his hands.”

    In other news from Washington…