(12)

This is what I call gratitude.

On the subject of rare musical instruments, and as a sign of how desperate some investors are to make money away from the standard stock and bond markets, you can even invest in violins. I can see the jokes coming: "So, what do you invest in?" "Violins". "Hmm, I've been on the fiddle myself".

Groan.

(13)

Via this blog, comes this awesomely silly story:

The Greek Isle of Lesbos is suing the group Homosexual and Lesbian Community of Greece to stop using the term Lesbian. Seems they are tired of having the term for people from their isle be synonymous with the followers of Sappho. “Our geographical designation has been usurped by certain ladies who have no connection whatsoever with Lesbos,” said Dimitris Lambrou, one of the plaintiffs.

Fantastic. Just imagine how one could play with this. Suppose the town council of Dorking, southern England, sues anyone who is referred to, or uses the pejorative term, "Dork".

Greece: did not that country once come up with clever chaps like Aristotle or something?

As ever, those interested in silly lawsuits should keep an eye on Overlawyered, an invaluable blog.

(7)

I recommend this short illustrated talk given by an American academic (no: businessman - see comment) who taught at Beijing University and who went with his family on a trip to North Korea. Here is part of what he says:

This is a woman that was directing traffic with great resolve and military precision outside the front door of our hotel. We watched her for at least ten minutes, as she moved and rotated with complete control of her little domain, and we didn't see a single car go by. [Laughter] I mean, you do have to wonder what they think. ...

He then sees one of those giant stadium displays, done with thousands of big hand-held squares which keep changing.

This big display, which sat opposite most of the people is just a huge communist video monitor, one person per pixel. The resolution of this screen was about seventy by four hundred. The frame rate was one to two hertz, and you could get up to two frames a second, before muscle fatigue set in.

And then we see this screen in action. It is actually rather impressive, especially when you consider how much the poor bastards doing it probably get to eat each day. And they're the lucky ones.

It often happens that people who report not on "the situation" in wherever it is, but simply on what they happen themselves to see, can supply an extraordinarily vivid feeling of what it must be like there. They don't tell the whole story. But then again, they don't pretend to.

Meanwhile, the latest "news" from North Korea, is that they are building a huge underground fighter runway, right near the border with the hated South, Thunderbirds style. It is supposed to be invulnerable to military attack. Fat chance. I wonder how many people will die while making it.

(9)

Belatedly, I joined the craze and had a go on one of my friend's Wii games the other weekend. Terrific stuff: I played the golf, tennis, ten-pin bowling and shooter games. Bloody marvellous. You do need to get a large-enough television to make it work; unfortunately, I don't really want to mess up my sitting room by putting a huge plasma screen on the wall, but some of my friends seem to be less squeamish.

The main downside, I find, is that if you are playing this game and have not stretched and warmed up properly first, you can actually do a bit of damage. The next morning, when I woke up, the left side of my back was quite painful. This is what happens to a 41-year-old wealth management geek who has not spent enough time doing sport for real. Time to turn off the technology and put on the training shoes.

A link to some Wii-related injuries. I wait for the first politician to try and bleat about the "Wii menace".

(20)

The reasons why people upset their neighbours continue to grow:

A weightlifter has been fined £70 for exercising too loudly. Giran Jobe, 36, was charged with 47 breaches of a noise abatement order after neighbours complained that his two-hour training sessions with dumbbells left them unable to sleep. A council team investigating complaints about noise from his top-floor flat in Margate, Kent, found that at times the level hit 100 decibels - as loud as a rock concert.

I have not come across this reason for neighbour annoyance before. Anyway, in my experience, the most irritating thing about going to a gym - as I do at least twice a week if possible - is the pounding, Chavvy music that these businesses insist in piping into the rooms. There seems to be some assumption that you get better exercise if there is lots of noise assaulting the ears. Maybe it is to do with the idea that certain sounds encourage quick exercise: there might even be academic studies proving the link between a raised exercise rate and music. I suppose this makes sense; anyway, dancing is one of the best exercises of the lot. Although the JPearce dance technique is unlikely to catch on anytime soon, you will no doubt be relieved to know.

(4)

I found a guest ale that is marketed by attacking Gordon Brown's high tax economics and his ceding of power to "dictators in Brussels". Not a conventional marketing approach. Probably an effective one, though.

(10)

The top headlines from BT Yahoo! news a moment ago:

* Anger problem 'ignored' in UK

ITN - Chronic anger has reached endemic heights in the UK but is often ignored, according to a new report.

* Miss Bimbo website provokes outrage

(19)

In my neighbourhood of Pimlico stands one of the ugliest public buildings in the known universe: Pimlico School. Unbearably hot in the summer (all that glass), miserable in the winter, with the sort of cavernous, Stygian style unlikely to suit enquiring young pupils, the place is being demolished for hopefully something rather more attractive. I cannot help but wonder, though, at the resemblance between the school and the main spacecraft in Battlestar Galactica. Mind you, I have not seen any Raptors flying out of the end of it.

Some people actually like Brutalist architecture.

(8)

As you may or may not know, today is International Women's Day (IWD) - it falls annually on March the 8th. This anniversary is not especially remarked upon in the Western world, yet it is a widely noted event in many of the countries that were closely allied to, had ideologically similar political ideologies to, or constituted the Soviet Union. I am living in China at the moment, and was first reminded of the advent of this year's IWD by my Vietnamese girlfriend, and then by the Chinese state press. Otherwise, it would have passed me by completely.

I have to say I find it a little amusing that two countries I have spent a fair bit of time in of late - Vietnam and China - so noisily celebrate IWD, considering that women in both countries face considerable and ingrained discrimination, despite the official socialist repudiation of gender inequality. Still, the show must go on and my girlfriend came home from work on the 8th with a gift; the same one that all the women in her company (a large Chinese software firm) received to commemorate IWD. And what was her present? A gift pack of anti-dandruff shampoo and conditioner. A lot of women work at this company, so obtaining all that haircare product would have been a substantial purchase. There must have been a conversation in the HR department a few weeks ago that went something like: "I think this Head & Shoulders pack is suitable. I mean, we're all for equal rights for women, but can we at least ensure that they are not leaving bits of their scalp about the place if they must work with us? Yes, I know, it's a shame that the deal on the girdles fell through, but there's always next year..."

(0)

I do not normally like receiving emails selling me products, but I thought I would have to make an exception for this:

Dear Antoine,

Virgin Galactic is delighted to announce a new destination... space. Climb to 360,000ft. at a cruising speed of almost three times the speed of sound, in unprecedented levels of safety and comfort. See our beautiful planet from 63 miles up and experience the magic of weightlessness.

Redeem 200,000 miles to receive 10% off the cost of a spaceflight, that's an incredible $20,000 saving!* Join our future astronauts and book your place in history.

I look forward to the Nigerian version:

"My name is Mr.Moses Odiaka. I work in the credit and accounts department of Union Bank of NigeriaPlc,Lagos, Nigeria. I write you in respect of a foreign customer with a Virgin Galactica ticket. His name is Engineer Manfred Becker. He was among those who died in a plane crash here in Nigeria during the reign of late General Sani Abacha.

Since the demise of this our customer, Engineer Manfred Becker, who was an oil merchant/contractor, I have kept a close watch of the deposit records and accounts and since then nobody has come to claim the airmiles in this a/c as next of kin to the late Engineer. He had only 18.5mllion air miles in his a/c and the a/c is coded. It is only an insider that could produce the code or password of the deposit particulars. As it stands now,there is nobody in that position to produce the needed information other than my very self considering my position in the bank."

(10)

But not green television the way you think. South African blogger 6000 is "not sure where this came from originally or if it's true", but he adds: "But you know, this is SA and people are nothing if not resourceful. It's a cool story - I choose to believe." Me too.

Spending fever has reached all walks of South African life. Here's a fellow who lives in a squatter camp beyond Somerset West in Western Cape who now wants a television set – a new one, mind, not that second-hand thing in the pawn-shop window – so he buys one from the High Street furniture retailer.

But he's back next day, saying the things keeps switching off just at the crucial moment. The shop checks it out and can find nothing wrong, but soon enough he's back with the same complaint.

This time the shop sends out a technician to pop round to see what the problem is. When the technician gets there, he discovers our guy's shack draws its electricity from a nearby traffic light, and that the TV only works when the light is green.

Good to know that almost everybody down there can afford to have "spending fever", even if some prefer to economise on their electricity bills. 6000 has this as a mere scanned image of a newspaper report. I think it deserves the .html treatment.

(7)

Via the excellent engadget blog, here is a nifty item to put on the wall for all you health-freaks out there. Perhaps I should strap my arm to one of the controls the next time I read about the Archbishop of Canterbury, the eco-Leninist thoughts of Madeleine Bunting, or watch the English rugby/cricket/football team give up a lead?.

Or maybe I should stop doing all these things for a longer, happier life.

(19)

Global warming can mean colder, it can mean drier, it can mean wetter, that's what we're dealing with.

- Steven Guilbeault, Greenpeace 2005, as quoted by Canada Free Press

Afterwards, another activist clarified the remark by stating that of course taller can also be evidence of shortness, richer can mean living in poverty, baboons can mean chairs, giraffes can mean pencils and hello Ms. Robinson, your lacy trousers are well buttered with smoked trout, can you hear what I'm writing with my toaster?

(10)

My father told me a while back that I was distantly related to Henry Blofeld, landowner and legendary cricket commentator. The Blofelds are an old Norfolk landowning family. Well, if it turns out I am related to a family that has the same surname as one of the greatest Bond villains, then maybe I should invest in something suitably sinister.

It may be cheaper than a hollowed-out volcano, if only slightly.

Staying with the Bond theme, you can now, if you have the wealth, live in a beach resort in the same part of Jamaica as Ian Fleming's old beachside home of Goldeneye. Back in 1956, during the Suez crisis, Anthony Eden, then prime minister, stayed at the Flemings'.

(34)

How's this for a title and opening for an article:

Gender or race: White male voters face tough choices in S.C.

For these men, a unique, and most unexpected dilemma, presents itself: Should they vote their race, or should they vote their gender?

The howls of outrage that framing an article in such terms would cause is easy (and rather fun) to imagine. If ever there were two things that should not have have an impact on whom a person votes for, it should be the genetic characteristics of skin colour and gender. Dare I suggest that ideology and honesty might trump those two non-factors every time?

And yet this article will most likely pass without the slightest murmur from a great many people.

Gender or race: Black women voters face tough choices in S.C.

But if it is reasonable for black women in South Carolina to vote on the basis that someone is black or female, presumably they cannot object if other people decide to vote for candidates on the basis they are white or male. After all, it does appear that framing the choice on whom to support on the basis of racism or sexism is perfectly acceptable to the mainstream media. And there I was mistakenly thinking that those things were the cardinal politically incorrect sins of our day! Who knew?

(12)

I would not normally be moved to link to a 'product listing' page for a chain of Dutch department stores called HEMA, but that is exactly what I am doing now.

Why? Because it is cool and for no other reason than that. Click and just wait a few seconds to see what happens (and no, I assure you it is not another video 'screamer').

(36)

There is a truly bizarre story on Reuters saying that the French car manufacturer Citroën has apologised for running an advertisement featuring a scowling Chairman Mao.

"As a Chinese, I felt greatly insulted when seeing this ad," a posting on web portal Tianya (www.tianya.com) said. "It is not only insulting Chairman Mao, but the whole Chinese nation." [...] "Chairman Mao is the symbol of China, and what Citroen did lacks basic respect to China," another posting said.

Astounding. The man who was probably the most prolific mass murderer in history, who murdered between 44.5 & 72 million mostly Chinese people and brought tyranny to almost one fifth of the world's population, is regarded by some people in 2008 as "the symbol of China"? That is truly surreal.

Well, I suppose he is in the same sense that Jack the Ripper is the 'symbol' of Whitechapel. Yet somehow I cannot see the residents of Whitechapel taking umbrage at an advertisement by Citroen featuring Jack the Ripper being portrayed with a less than congenial expression.

Just how many people does a tyrant have to order killed before he becomes absolute anathema in China? How many lives does he have to ruin to stop being 'the symbol of China'? What kind of moral derangement is required to take insult in this manner? Well people in China should indeed be insulted, but by the fact Citroën used the image of that vile psychopath to portray anything other than horror, death and misery. How dare someone trivialise suffering on such a colossal scale? How would people react if they had used Hitler instead? People would certainly protest but somehow I do not think all too many Germans would be saying "The Fuhrer is the symbol of Germany".

A Chinese person I know described the Mao era as 'The Long Nightmare'. It seems some people in China do not want to wake up.

(11)

I was channel surfing the other day when I came across a strange caption at the top of my television that caught my eye, causing a definite double take...

           WH O RE 1

Anyone care to guess what I was watching?

(19)

Part of the problem with modern democratic states is they have far too much time to figure out new ways to regulate and control every aspect of life. They do this in order to pander to the sectional obsessions of this or that element of the electorate, and to satisfy the pathological control freak mindset that defines most people who are attracted into politics. Japan however find much less damaging and far more interesting ways to spend legislative time.

A debate over flying saucers has kept Japanese politicians occupied for much of this week, ensnaring top officials and drawing a promise from the defense minister to send out the army if Godzilla goes on a rampage. "There are debates over what makes UFOs fly, but it would be difficult to say it's an encroachment of air space," Defense Minister Shigeru Ishiba told a news conference Thursday. "If Godzilla were to show up, it would be a dispatch for disaster relief."

Oh how I wish the UK Parliament and US Congress would spend less time on implementing laws to abridge our liberties and more on how to prevent 170 foot tall radioactive fire breathing saurians from stomping on our cities and destroying our skolzandhospitalz.

Obviously the whole absurd 'Islamic terrorists' shtick was just a ruse to hide the terrible truth of what really happened on 9/11. After all, as so many people keep endlessly reminding us, Islam is a religion of peace, so huge Japanese monsters (no doubt under the influence of Haliburton mind control rays) are a far more plausible explanation if you think about it. Clearly this is something that should occupy legislative time from the moment our fine representatives go into session until the moment they go home at night. For pity's sake, honourable members, do it for the children.

(3)

Magna Carta: yours for $21,321,000 (£10.6M);

Tales of Beedle the Bard: £1,950,000 ($4M)

Of course tha latter may be a more useful guide to one's liberties in New Britain ™

(5)

I want one.

The website is great fun for over-grown teenagers like me.

(4)

I am feeling rather groggy after a wonderful party yesterday - I also watched the excellent Barbarians-South Africa match in a pub - but this item on a website called Sharp as a Marble is an instant hangover cure. Good heavens - the stuff you can find on the web.

(7)

Here are some wonderfully good photographs, ideal browsing for a grey Sunday afternoon.

(30)

The Sunday Times carries the story that two men have been remanded to await trial on charges of blackmailing a member of the royal family. They are said to have demanded £50,000 not to publicise stories about sex and drugs.

Haven't the perpetrators missed the point of blackmail? Surely if they had anything that would stick, they could get many times that amount from the world's tabloids? The point of blackmail is to take advantage of the embarrassment of the person concerned for gain. They seem to have attempted to do it for loss.

(0)

Phone conversation just now with Alex Singleton:

Me: "I hear that yesterday was your birthday."

Alex: "Yes. I found out about it on Facebook."

Alex will be the main speaker at the Libertarian Alliance Conference dinner tomorrow evening at the National Liberal Club, in other words the star speaker of the entire event. An excellent choice for this task stroke honour, I think, and I am looking forward to hearing him very much.

(40)

Mick Hartley quoted at some length the other day from this TimesOnline piece by Sarah Baxter, but I have only just read the thing itself. The first few paragraphs, which Mick Hartley did not recycle, are particularly choice, and I do quote them here, now:

A glorious culture clash took place in Iran recently that made me laugh out loud. The children of Che Guevara, the revolutionary pin-up, had been invited to Tehran University to commemorate the 40th anniversary of their father’s death and celebrate the growing solidarity between "the left and revolutionary Islam" at a conference partly paid for by Hugo Chavez, the Venezuelan president.

There were fraternal greetings and smiles all round as America's "earth-devouring ambitions" were denounced. But then one of the speakers, Hajj Saeed Qassemi, the co-ordinator of the Association of Volunteers for Suicide-Martyrdom (who presumably remains selflessly alive for the cause), revealed that Che was a "truly religious man who believed in God and hated communism and the Soviet Union".

Che's daughter Aleida wondered if something might have been lost in translation. "My father never mentioned God," she said, to the consternation of the audience. "He never met God." During the commotion, Aleida and her brother were led swiftly out of the hall and escorted back to their hotel. "By the end of the day, the two Guevaras had become non-persons. The state-controlled media suddenly forgot their existence," the Iranian writer Amir Taheri noted.

After their departure, Qassemi went on to claim that Fidel Castro, the "supreme guide" of Guevara, was also a man of God. "The Soviet Union is gone," he affirmed. "The leadership of the downtrodden has passed to our Islamic republic. Those who wish to destroy America must understand the reality and not be clever with words."

Don't say you haven't been warned, comrade, when you flirt with "revolutionary Islam" as if it were a mild form of liberation theology. ...

LOL indeed.

I am actually quite optimistic that at least some (more) lefties will wake up, as time goes by, to the absurdity of them being in alliance with radical Islamists. The only rationale for this otherwise ridiculous arrangement is (see above) that the enemy of your enemy (the USA) is your friend, no matter what. If you really do think that the USA is the biggest baddest thing in the world and that curbing its power is the only thing that matters (think Hitler Churchill Stalin), then this alliance makes a kind of primitive sense. Although even if you do think that, encouraging the development of rampant capitalism everywhere except in the USA would make a lot more sense. That really would reduce the USA to the margins of history. But, if you think that lefty-ism is anything at all to do with positive support for civilisation, decency, freedom, female (in particular) emancipation, life being nice even if you do not submit to Islam etc., then you should surely turn your back on all such alliances.

Meanwhile, I cannot help noticing and rejoicing that those Islamists have such a genius for pissing off their potential allies. From what I have been reading, they have achieved this same feat in the last year or two with the people of Iraq, no less. Compared to that momentous own goal, if own goal it turns out to be, pissing off the Guevaras is small potatoes indeed.

Unless of course millions of lefties around the world read of this outrage and exclaim with one voice: "That does it. Not the Guevaras. How dare they silence these hereditary paragons of revolutionary virtue. We will now support the USA against the Islamists until the Islamists are utterly crushed. Then we will sort out the USA." That would change things a bit.

(2)

If you are opening (say) a chain of casual clothing stores in Portugal, and you want to give them an English name that you hope provides an image of stylish people driving fast cars, you might want to check with a number of native English speakers whether the word you choose might not have other meanings or connotations in English.

As a minimum, I cannot see Throttleman conquering the world in the way that other clothing labels from cities nearby have been known to, and however good their supply chain management appears to be (Zara of course are masters of this).

(4)

I have considered over the last couple of days whether or not to write about an event. I feared, and still fear, that many people will either think I am making the whole thing up or that, at least, I am exaggerating to make a more 'entertaining' story. I am not making this event up, and I am not exaggerating - but I have no way to prove this.

Anyway here goes...

On Tuesday I went to an event 'East Midlands Expo' organized by the 'East Midlands Region' government. These 'Regional' governments are not desired by the public - but they are forced to pay for them anyway. The event was supposed to be about the 'environment'. It was held in the buildings that form part of the Rockingham Speedway. This is sporting facility that is on the outskirts of the town of Corby in Northamptonshire.

Why this site was chosen I do not know. If the public were intended to attend this event it was a very bad choice of site - but if the event, and the cost of it, was meant to be hidden from the public it was a good choice of site. I overheard someone pointing to the helicopters that seemed to be flying round the site and saying "they are to keep the public out" - but I do not believe that to be true (it was just a coincidence).

There were some members of the public at the event. Some confused looking children, some in yellow helmets, were led around to various places. A few of these children were brought in to be photographed when a government person presented a cheque [pdf document] to two women dressed as 'Eco-Pixies'.

However, nearly everyone at the event was either a councillor, a Local Government Officer, or a representative of a commercial enterprise trying to sell something - via various stalls. There was one stall that did not seem to be trying to sell anything - it was from the Romania government and its function at the event seemed to be to publicise Romania. This led a Local Government Officer I talked with, to describe the event as "Eco-Pixies meet Romania" - although, as far as I know, the Eco-Pixies did not visit the Romanian government stall. There were some stalls, outside, that were selling actual products (bread, cheese and so on) but the main stalls inside the event were from various large enterprises trying to interest politicians and officials in their services (to be paid by the taxpayers). The objective seemed to be to 'network'.

Outside there was also part of a building made of straw. Not panels made of straw, just bales of straw. There were also various 'workshops' which were conducted in the English language - but a highly distorted form of it. As I went around talking to people and visiting stalls I found myself having difficulty in suppressing high pitched involuntary nervous laughter (what British people call "the giggles" - which is not as pleasant as it sounds) and I had to retreat to the toilet to recover - in order to avoid being rude.

After I recovered I took the special bus back to Kettering.

However, the events of the day had disturbed me and I went shopping, buying lots of 'bad' things. For example, bread and cheese, which I could have bought from the stalls outside the "Expo" - but I felt uncomfortable buying things there, I intend no disrespect to the people at the food stalls - perhaps the most honest people at the event.

Bread is denounced because of carbohydrate, and cheese is denounced because of fat - especially the high fat 'Danish Blue' cheese that I bought. I also bought alcohol for the first time in months, partly because alcohol had just been denounced on BBC Radio 4 that morning "there is no safe lower limit" (this did not concern driving - it was meant as general health warning). The alcohol I bought was Yorkshire 'Old Peculiar' beer - which I thought fitted the peculiar nature of the day. My shopping the local supermarket which might be considered environmentally unsound, but many of the organizations at the 'Expo' were rather big so I suppose the organizers are not totally against big business.

Anyway I then ate some bread and cheese and drank my beer in an effort to calm my mind - but I was not totally successful.

(0)

For every rational cause you can guarantee there will be someone who tries to pursue it in a crazy and counter-productive manner. A Cambridge school caretaker has just been gaoled for sending letter bombs in protest against the surveillance state. Quite how he thought it might help is obscure; there is no Bakhuninite theory of precipitating revolution on offer, nor the intimidation/revenge motive of animal-rights terrorists. Perhaps he is a product of what the LM people identify as "therapeutic culture" and believes (compare Mr Blair) that strength of feeling is truth, and demonstrating the strength of one's feelings by hurting others - a Big Howl - is persuasive.

All of which is by way of introduction to the strangest point in the whole affair: the post trial commentary from the officer in charge of the investigation. This is becoming a standard feature of any notorious case, one which I dislike intensely. I think the job of the police is to investigate crime disinterestedly, and they should not have a say in or comment on the process of the courts, any more than they should prejudice the position of suspects beforehand.

Detective Superintendent George Turner, from Thames Valley Police, said of the criminal,

"He utilised his interests in anarchy, terrorism and explosive devices in support of his political views."

Uh?

Let us be clear. This is not a slip of the tongue. It is a pre-prepared statement, given out in a press release to be reproduced verbatim.

How could an interest in anarchy (which does not seem to have been made out in any account I have read, and I would be grateful to be pointed to the evidence) have utility in bombing people? It might, just, provide motivation, although there are lots of pacifist anarchists and few violent nihilists, but practical assistance?

And "in support of his political views"? No, quite back-to-front. His crimes were in (mistaken) pursuit of his political views. There is a worrying muddling of means and ends there. What Cooper did was wrong; it does not support his views in the slightest. The criminality is founded in his intent to damage property and injure people. But we are left with the impression that the views are the mens rea.

Except I do not think he should be making it at all, I would have no quarrel with D-Supt Turner's prepared statement had it said:

"He utilised his interests in terrorism and explosive devices in support of a politically motivated criminal plan."

What he actually said is a disturbing glimpse of an official mind-set in which non-conformity and violence, dissent and criminality, are confounded.

(0)

This is both an historical and an historiographical puzzle.

It might well be true. It would be interesting if it were.

I do not think it is of any consequence for current affairs or community relations whether it is true or not (and I could not give a damn what anyone thinks on that point either way). But I thought my naval history was pretty good, and I have absolutely no idea what he is talking about.

The BBC reports Trevor Philips speaking at an event today:

"When we talk about the Armada it's only now that we are beginning to realise that part of it is Muslims," Mr Phillips told the meeting. "It was the Turks who saved us, because they held up Armada at the request of Elizabeth I."

Now what is he going on about? How would one arrange that with 16th century communications? Elizabeth certainly chartered a Levant Company, and had diplomatic relations with the Ottomans. But where is the evidence? Did the Turks hold up the Armada at all? And if so did they do it by arrangement? If so, what's the new research that "only now" gives us this information? If not, where does Mr Phillips get the idea from?