Sunday
There is poetry, there is bad poetry and there is an order of magnitude revealed by the “The Hatemonger’s Quarterly” Fifth Annual Horrible College-Student Poetry Competition.
Some snippets from a piece that has a fluidity we can only dream of:
When I see the fungual discoloration of my toenails, I see all of the free people not given a living wage by America.And when I see all of the problems my body has
But I have no national health care plan to help,
I see that I, too, have been victimized by America.
Or this:
[NOTE: Next verse recited stoic’ly, almost Gaelic’ly, like in the movie “Rob Roy” or “Braveheart, with one lone mournful bagpipe weeping from behind] The dogs of a chicken-hawk war run blindingly on! Their fateful howling screams a den of fearul shame! Can they see not the havick they so retchedly reek upon us all! And that they’re woeful day of wreckn’ing is writ large upon them! While their currish tails all but hide their rancid fowl deseats?Will we stand most righteous against the patricianarchal neocon hordes?
Against the hatemongrills, the warmongrills, each mongrills all!
That would dog-wag us into unjust genocide with their hateful doggerills?
For in their primate fear can they not see the truth afire?!
The truth all burning …all … afire?!
Do read the whole post.
The lack of a national health care plan is obviously the only thing standing between these poor benighted souls and the brain transplants they so obviously need.
Hang in there, guys and girls, we're working on it, and have you near the top of the wait list.
Ah, yes, the wait list. See? Some bits have already been implemented.
Posted by Billll at June 1, 2008 01:16 AM
"Do read the whole post."
Sorry I can't,it is just to harrowing,sob!
Posted by Ron Brick at June 1, 2008 01:20 AM
"mournful bagpipe weeping from behind]"
Is it possible to get incontinence pants for bagpipes?
Posted by Ron Brick at June 1, 2008 02:14 AM
Sacre maquereux!
We should be proud of our education shytstem!
Posted by permanentexpat at June 1, 2008 02:35 AM
"When I see the discharge from my vagina,
I see all of the women raped by America."
"When I see the ooze from the sores on my penis,
I see all of the gay men marginalixed by America."
Exactly what we all wanted, more hermaphrodite poetry!
My life is complete.
*Gouges out brain*
Posted by Robert at June 1, 2008 08:20 AM
Billll,
It is worth pointing put that all this is parody. Whether the genre it mocks actually exists in great quantity I have my doubts.
Posted by guy herbert at June 1, 2008 08:46 AM
Sorry to ask a daft question, but are these real poems or are they spoofs?
I've certainly seen ones verging on this; a certain Helmut Seethaler used to posted stuff up (in English, for some odd reason) around the Vienna U-Bahn; his finest went something like this:
People come to fight in wars
Year after year
Until one day no-one will turn up to fight
Because they will already have been killed in the last one.
I never managed to find out much about Herr Seethaler but as far as I could see he took himself very seriously. Maybe I should look him up on YouFace as he is surely revelling in the advent of the Interweb.
Posted by manuel II paleologos at June 1, 2008 11:48 AM
These are spoofs (depending upon the entry), but to identify them as such would take away half the fun.
Posted by Philip Chaston at June 1, 2008 12:17 PM
As is so often said:
The difference between us beasts and the left is that they are so "cultured", "artistic" and "creative".
Posted by Paul Marks at June 3, 2008 12:28 AM
Wow. I get in touch with my inner Vogon, and something I wrote gets (partially) published on Samizata.net!
I am insufferably pleased with myself.
Posted by clifford at June 6, 2008 04:49 PM
