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Drink coffee early! Drink coffee often!

I agree with Virginia Postrel and Tim Worstall, and no doubt with plenty of others, that it is a nice giggle that 7-Eleven had the best on-the-day polling for that Presidential Election they had in the USA the other day. 7-Eleven coffee purchasers that day were asked to choose between Bush cups and Kerry cups, and it went Bush: just over 51; Kerry: just under 49, which was better than anyone else seems to have done on the day.

Is this the first time 7-Eleven have tried doing this? And, crucially, did they announce a rolling score throughout the day? If they do announce the score throughout the day (and I suggest that they should next time if they did not do it this time – see below), and if the news gets out big that they did well with their coffee cup polling this time around, the story will not end there, because the next step will be for political fanatics to drink gallons and gallons of 7-Eleven coffee on the day of the next election, in order to influence the 7-Eleven results. The fanatics will not, I think, necessarily buy coffee in the cups of their own team, because if their guy is reckoned to be well ahead, they might want to make the race seem closer than it is, to get all of their vote out and win bigger. Then again, they might drink gallons of their own guy’s cups of coffee, to demoralise the opposition vote, and to say to it: you have lost, there is no point in you voting. It depends on what time of day the various Karl Roves reckon their voters and the other guy’s voters will be voting.

If 7-Eleven do as I suggest, they will either (a) get the result spot on, again, or (b) get it totally wrong but sell an extra billion gallons of coffee. Win-win.

14 comments to Drink coffee early! Drink coffee often!

  • Patrick

    LOL this is the funniest thing i’ve ever seen on this site!

  • Actually, I believe the polling was done over a month (specifically October) instead of on just election day. If diehards wanted to swing the poll their way, they should get their drink on for 30 straight days…

    With all that caffeine in the American economy, the US GDP should jump a point or two for October…

  • 7-11 did the same thing in 2000 and met with strikingly accurate results then as well.

  • limberwulf

    Just wait till Starbucks hears about this, the whole global economy could get a boost. 😛

  • I dunno. The idea of tens of thousands of already-crazed lefties totally wired on caffeine overdose is pretty scary to me. There’s no telling what they’d do.

  • Brian – yours is the kind of evil mastermindery we have sought for generations….I bow to your planning superiority and and hand you a cat to stroke during times of crucial decision making.

    M

  • Ron

    Will those who choose Republican cups be on the receiving end of intimidation like this?

  • S. Weasel

    I’m stunned to learn that a perfectly representative sample of Americans regularly drinks convenience store coffee. I’m not a coffee snob (I’ll take Dunkin’ Donuts over Starbucks any day), but the 7-11 stuff is vile.

  • mike

    The conservative students should all get together and stage their own demonstration outside the nearest lefty-hole they can find – a protest against leftwing terrorists and terrorist-wannabes wherever they be..

  • mike

    Sorry, that comment was for Ron in response to his linked story. To keep to the topic, I wonder whether the competing coffee-drinking thing might be done on any old basis not just an election. Just make up some stupid story about two competing characters doing something insane, put it out in an ad, then when people come in for coffee, their choice of cup is a vote on which of the two characters should win…

  • Jonathan Bailey

    Never mind the caffeine, I think the side that tries to coffee-drink its way to victory will find the plan blowing up in its collectiv(ist)e face as they will be too busy standing in line for the loo to stand in line to cast ballots…….

  • Jonathan Bailey

    …….Do we have any volunteers to hand out free bran muffins?

  • Ric Locke

    Dr. Heisenberg.

    Dr. Werner Heisenberg, please pick up the white courtesy telepone.

  • Murel Bailey

    You’re basically saying what I say about polls, that there’s an Uncertainty Principle about them: You can’t report them accurately _and_ manipulate them at the same time. That’s what’s wrong with a lot of the polling numbers we had during this election.