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So the loathesome (second post down) John "interesting" Kerry has chosen John "even less interesting" Edwards as his running mate. This is obviously a bad move as people will confuse them, and maybe even vote for someone else called John Nondescriptname instead, but on the other hand, their policies seem to be mostly about saying whatever crowd-pleaser pops into their heads at the time, so perhaps it is a deliberate ploy to make people so confused they can't keep up with all the turnarounds, and surrender their powers of reasoning altogether (unless that happened already).

Here are some of the things they said about each other in the past. Notice the recurrence of the word "different". Now see if you can spot which statement belongs to which John. Answers on Fox News.

[John's policies would run the country] deeper and deeper into deficit.

This is the same old Washington talk that people have been listening to for decades.

I think he's said some different things at different points in time … So I think there's been some inconsistency.

[John] and I have very different positions on the issue of trade

This one is easy:

No. No. Final. I don't want to be vice president. I'm running for president.

And my personal favourite (remember, John is criticising John here)...

I think that the world is looking for leadership that is tested and sure. And I think that George Bush has proven that this is not a time for inexperience in the White House.

How very unintentionally right he is.