Friday
(0)The thing I really like and admire about capitalism is its attention to detail, made possible by the division of labour. While we Samizdatistas get sucked into Political Class worries - like the EU and the Iraq War, overpopulation, underpopulation, etc. - capitalism continues to crank out solutions to problems so small that they can actually to be solved. Someone, somewhere (actually: Canada!), instead of worrying about the Iraq War (over which, he probably decided, he had no influence), has instead been worrying about bananas and how to guard them.
Consider this problem:
Are you fed up with bringing bananas to work or school only to find them bruised and squashed? …
I know I am. I have lost count of the number of times I have done damage to a bagful of Important Things, as a result of a neglected banana at the bottom of everything which I put there three days ago and then forgot about. But what to do? Bananas taste nice. You never know when a banana in your bag might come in handy.
So how do you stop it being crushed and becoming a sticky, destructive mess, dangerous to everything around it? Well, when a capitalist asks an arkward question like the one above, you just know that he will very soon start in on the answer, and this capitalist is no different:
… Our unique, patented device allows for the safe transport and storage of individual bananas letting you enjoy perfect bananas anytime, anywhere.
A perfect banana. Tell me more.
The Banana Guard was specially designed to fit the vast majority of bananas. Its other features include multiple small perforations to facilitate ventilation thereby preventing premature ripening and a sturdy locking mechanism to keep the Banana Guard closed. The Banana Guard is of course dishwasher safe for easy cleaning.
Of course. Small perforations. There goes that attention to detail.
You can get your Banana Guard in an impressive range of colours, namely: Ravishing Red, Outrageous Orange, Mellow Yellow, Sublime Green, Skyhigh Blue, Brilliant Blue, Passionate Purple, Pretty in Pink, and Glow in the Dark.
My thanks to this Monkey.
How long before the EU decides to regulate the curvature of banana guards? ;-)
Posted by James Hammerton at April 30, 2004 08:55 AM
I have a helpful tip re unguarded bananas. If you have other fruit that needs ripening, put it in a plastic bag with a banana, tie the top of the bag so no air gets in, and it will be ripe by the next morning. Bananas throw off some type of gas that is a ripening agent. It will also get an avocado ripe within about 24 hours.
Posted by Verity at April 30, 2004 09:25 AM
Verity - Ethylene. It's used in bulk fruit transporters (ships and suchlike) to encourage ripening en route.
Posted by Andrew Duffin at April 30, 2004 12:10 PM
You never know when a banana in your bag might come in handy.
You said a mouthful there. preventing premature ripening I dunno about you, but I hate it when my banana ripens prematurely.
Posted by R C Dean at April 30, 2004 09:38 PM
On a related note, here is another product that solves a problem that you might not be aware of needed solving.
http://www.sacfree.de/index_m.html
Posted by Kors at April 30, 2004 11:35 PM
Boxer shorts. Please. Solves the problem without indecent exposure.
Posted by alex at April 30, 2004 11:59 PM
What about all of the other innocent fruits? Do Kiwi's and other vulnerable fruits of society not deserve the same well designed protection?
Posted by Andie at December 17, 2004 12:36 AM
