Kolba - it's going to his head.

Here is my take on what the Guardian might have written in 1945 if it then had its current group of intensely stupid writers and editors.

Dateline 1945

Today, Adolf Hitler, the elderly spiritual and political leader of the German people since 1933, overwhelmed by the intense pressures of the war to defend his homeland, died by his own hand rather than allow himself to be captured by ravening hordes of Russian and allied troops hell-bent on killing him or subjecting him to a humiliating post-war trial.

Hitler had been suffering terribly from Parkinson’s disease and intermittent bouts of depression for some time, aggravated, no doubt, by efforts of traitorous Germans to remove him from his position as Fuehrer, and even to kill him.

Hitler had greatness and glory thrust upon him in the 1930’s as he rallied the German people to throw off the yoke of the brutally unfair Treaty of Versailles and worked tirelessly to lead Germany out of the Great Depression. Hitler’s prestige grew inexorably during the 1930’s. Even the Allied powers, his future enemies, appreciated his selfless and intense efforts to avoid war and achieve lasting peace during the negotiations at Munich in 1938. Even the British Prime Minister, Neville Chamberlain, recognized that the negotiations led by Hitler at Munich meant “Peace in our time.” It was only an isolated, discredited, bitter, bellicose, and unstable Winston Churchill, always a highly partisan critic of Hitler’s, who uncharitably characterized Munich as “a total and unmitigated defeat.” (Churchill held the prestigious position of First Lord of the Admiralty in World War I until he was discredited by the failure of his foolhardy Dardanelles invasion where the lives of many Australian troops were needlessly sacrificed. Churchill was subsequently demoted and sent the front line trenches in France.)

Domestically, Hitler was credited with rounding up many undesirables during the Night of the Long Knives, recognized for his charitable efforts in founding camps for displaced persons of Jewish origin, and hailed [heiled] for improving the literary content of German libraries. However, in spite of his best efforts, the ungrateful British never fully appreciated his accomplishments at urban renewal in the Greater London area. Hitler never withered under the glare of a publicity he could not escape. He became an accomplished speaker, hosted the 1936 Olympics with style, and endured the itnense spotlight of public adoration at Nuremburg as tens of thousands of intensely loyal Germans cheered him with salutes of Zieg Heil.

A decorated veteran of the front-line trenches on the Western Frontin World War I, Hitler is credited with returning the German military to its former glory and leading daring and brilliant military campaigns in defense of the Third Reich. He fell into misfortune when he was briefly imprisoned by shortsighted politicians in the 1920’s. However, Hitler did not allow himself to be deterred by this temporary setback. Unseen, unheard, and isolated in his prison cell, he applied himself to writing his epic work, Mein Kampf, in which he laid out his glorious vision for a new Germany and a new, united, and purified Europe.

Once released from prison, he tirelessly imbued his people with the self-evident glories of National Socialism and won a spectacular election as Chancellor in 1933. In the following years, through his unmatched charisma and foresight, he became Fuehrer of the Third Reich and led his people into a new golden age of power, prosperity, and lebensraum.

But it was the self-sacrificing zeal of his followers, enthusiastically implementing his inspired visions, that did so much to purify the Aryan blood lines and to mastermind new scientific advances ranging from the autobahn, to innovative policing methods, to advances in rocket science which may one day lead us into space, and to innovative new applications for showers and ovens.

Whether he truly intended it or not, he is likely to remain the embodiment of the German spirit and German aspirations for some time to come.

Herr Hitler’s loyal German Shepard, Blondi, and his adoring new young wife, Eva, were with him at the end, although they pre-deceased him by several minutes.

Private burial services were conducted shortly after his untimely death precipitated by the unrestrained fanatical violence employed by his enemies. In lieu of flowers, contributions may be made to The Fund for the Future of National Socialism (FFNS).

Sandy P - did you mean Koba? If not, what did you mean?

He's so obviously lost the plot that he's a liability, but labour still haven't kicked him out?

What the hell is going on?

These proposals are disproportionate, unenforceable and criminalising and do not go to the heart of the cause of these problems.

Getting to the heart of the problem isn't government's business. Though I'll venture the theory that when the state tries to play parent to a population of infantalized grownups, this might be result. Hooliganism is like the "terrible twos" on a national scale.

No; "unenforceable" is Home Office speak for "we don't want to do that". Neither genuine unenforceability nor impracticality, nor overbearing authoritarianism (which is what "disporportionate" means) has ever bothered them.

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BTW, Isn't the first comment in the wrong thread?

No; "unenforceable" is Home Office speak for "we don't want to do that". Neither genuine unenforceability nor impracticality, nor overbearing authoritarianism (which is what "disporportionate" means) has ever bothered them.

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BTW, Isn't the second comment in the wrong thread?

Guy -

I don't know about the first comment but the second is very much in the wrong thread.

It should be associated (and actually is repeated) in comments of this post.