Thursday
(0)HM Tax Collectors are burning out, cracking up and breaking down. They cannot take it anymore. They can not eat, they can not sleep and they do not know which way to turn.
THEY NEED HELP!!!
If your tax affairs are driving you to despair, spare a thought for the Inland Revenue. It has been forced to call in the Samaritans to help to train staff driven close to the edge by dealing with irate callers struggling with the tax system.The charity, vastly experienced in helping people who are depressed or on the verge of suicide, has been hired to train around 2,000 Revenue staff who take calls from the public.
The idea is to enable them to be more empathetic when dealing with taxpayers who have reached the end of their tether after trying to understand the shambolic tax credits system or fathom out their self-assessment form.
Or maybe it is taxpayers that are melting down? Or is it both? Who can tell? We are all going crazy round here.
Emotional training is not cheap. The Samaritans normally charge £1,500 a day for this service; it would not disclose yesterday how much the Revenue was being charged.
The 'revenue' is not paying a penny. Somebody better get on the telephone to those untethered taxpayers and tell them the bad news. It is all their fault anyway. Then they will get even more angry and the Revenue staff will get even more stressed and then they will need even more therapy and... How deep does this rabbit-hole go?
Perhaps the problem could be alleviated by sending the entire staff of the Inland Revenue off on a holiday... for a few years!
My heart bleeds.
But I'd rather the fucking **** were shown the meaning of a full on tax revolt. Sod tax in the harbour. How about thieves underwater.
Posted by paul d s at March 4, 2004 10:34 PM
After tonight's Money Programme on BBC 2
about the relationship and 'arrangements' between the Inland Revenue and the Egyptian Grocer, the Samaritans will probably be inundated with calls from wealthy top investigative inspectors from the IR. And Harrods underwear department should do good business in the morning, too.
Posted by Frank P at March 5, 2004 01:40 AM
Its a bit like the Mafia sending counsellors to the families of their victims.
Posted by Jonathan L at March 5, 2004 06:41 AM
Hot tar, feather & rail therapy is strongly indicated.
But that's just my amateurish opinion.
Posted by Fred at March 5, 2004 01:57 PM
On reading what i had written I thought maybe I was being a bit unsympathetic.
However reading the other responses allowed me to realise that basically I am right.
Nuke em from orbit, it's the only way to be sure!
Posted by Rob Read at March 5, 2004 06:46 PM
