Friday
(11)Frank J. at IMHO has come up with the perfect way to fish for links (well, I fell for it at least)... he has declared war on the mighty Glenn Reynolds of Instapundit .
And what is our view on this revolt against The InstaPowers That Be?
We are one of Glenn's blog children... fie on that false prophet Frank J. and all hail to Glenn Reynolds, the Dark Lord of the net, the Ayatollah of Rock and Rollah, the Balrog of the Blogosphere!
Behold the fate of those who defy the InstaPowers That Be
Photo: D.Amon, all rights reserved
Glenn likes Mazda's, we know what he does to puppies, but what does he think of monkeys. We need to know.
Posted by Edmund Burke at August 15, 2003 10:46 AM
The instaman does have a deeply silly smile, somehow. I don't think it quite goes with the idea of sitting on a dark throne in Mordor.
Posted by Michael Jennings at August 15, 2003 10:59 AM
I'll just bet "Instapundit" mean "Barad-Dur" in Elvish.
Posted by Jeffersonian at August 15, 2003 12:09 PM
Worse yet, despite the fact he is married, he is reportedly a practicing heterosexual. Also, I have it on good authority that he has taken hundreds of thousands of dollars from the treasury of the State of Tennessee.
Posted by RJGator at August 15, 2003 12:20 PM
All hail, all hail, the Instapundit! He sitteth on his dark throne; though foes do cry, he conquereth them with a single server-killing link! His minions report to him from near and far; he gets in every newspaper story about "web logs".
Let a thousand puppies, erm, blend.
Posted by Tim the Michigander at August 15, 2003 12:49 PM
afraid-of-monkeys is only trying to deflect attention from the attack that's been declared upon him! A classic (and typical) franco-American strategy.
Posted by Ted at August 15, 2003 12:59 PM
So, stop giving Frank what he wants; serial Insta-lanches
Posted by Bob Whaley at August 15, 2003 01:02 PM
It's worse than you know:
His "lifestyle companion" associates with known thespians, his engine does not reciprocate, he's known to go around with his stick in his hand, and has bragged that he's just getting used to being powered from the rear.
When told that there a cure for this, he's said to have replied (in rather poor English for a supposedly educated guy):
I know, I got the RX ate.
Posted by The Kid at August 15, 2003 01:04 PM
Serial insta-launches...so you are saying this is not a one time event? There will one insta-launch followed by another...and then the FBI profilers get involved?
It would be interesting to see an FBI profile on monkeyboy.
Posted by King of Fools at August 15, 2003 01:32 PM
Not only is he a practicing heterosexual who associates with known thespians, I heard a rumor that he may be a secret philatelist. Be careful out there.
Posted by Internet Ronin at August 15, 2003 01:34 PM
This foolish uprising by the IMAO is sure to backfire. Thanks to Monkey-Boy Frank, even more college nerds with off-the-wall senses of humor will be exposed to the appeal and influence of the Instapundit. The InstaLord will only grow more powerful. He cannot be defeated.
All Hail the Blogfather! Wherever he does link, there shall I follow (with a freshly blended puppy shake in case the King is thirsty).
Posted by Rockwell at August 15, 2003 01:59 PM
If you listen very closely to recordings of crowd noise you'll hear it...blendedpuppiesblendedpuppiesblendedpuppiesreadinstapunditblendedpuppiesblendedpuppies...
Posted by JSAllison at August 15, 2003 02:38 PM
"The Balrog of the Blogosphere"? Dude, don't you remember what one old wizard did to that Balrog in Moria? If the prof is the Balrog, who's the Gandalf of the Blogosphere? When's the showdown? Who's selling tickets?
And most importantly, can I have the concessions contract?
Posted by Roy at August 15, 2003 02:40 PM
I guess there is more than one way to get an instalanche. Maybe I should challenge him to a burrito eating contest.
Posted by Jonathan Wilde at August 15, 2003 02:42 PM
The dark one HAS been seen masticating, with his stick in is hand, as you put it, coming out of the drive thru of a local Burger King, Someone said that he was so worried about messing up the interior of his new car (wich makes Kit look like a Tonka toy), that he took extra napkins.
Posted by moptop at August 15, 2003 02:56 PM
This kind of internecine warfare is exactly what we need during the dog days of summer..
Cry Havoc ! and let slip the blogs of war!!
Posted by dinky dau at August 15, 2003 03:12 PM
Hmm. Puppy burritos. You might have something there.
Posted by Bob Whaley at August 15, 2003 03:15 PM
"There is nothing as good to us as a boiled fat puppy, it is to us like your Thanksgiving turkey." -- Geronimo.
Hasn't the dark one bragged about Indian ancestry?
Posted by Spawn at August 15, 2003 03:30 PM
What amazes me is that there has not been a peep outta the blogging peaceniks on this situation. I mean first no war in Afganistan, no war in Iraq, no war in Liberia and they are staying silent on this war. Or, are maybe the aiding and abetting the war effort on behalf of one of the combatants. Maybe I will be Switzerland Blog on this one.
Posted by Tiger at August 15, 2003 04:01 PM
I hear the smooth, deep voice over even now:
"Puppy. It's what's for dinner."
Posted by Ric at August 15, 2003 04:44 PM
Is this internecine warfare driven by Instapenis envy? Or a simple case of summer Instapuppy-love?
Posted by paul at August 15, 2003 05:23 PM
I am volunteering to be a human shield in this illegal war.
Posted by Val Prieto at August 15, 2003 06:15 PM
Jeffersonian: "I'll just bet "Instapundit" mean "Barad-Dur" in Elvish."
Dude, Barad-Dûr is Elvish. ;)
Posted by Brian Tiemann at August 15, 2003 06:28 PM
I don't know about Barad-Dur, but I think he might answer to "Maud'dib"!
Posted by Petronius at August 15, 2003 07:06 PM
"Maud'dib"
Where is that from and why on Earth do I recognize it?!?
Posted by Moptop at August 15, 2003 07:57 PM
Muad'dib was the Fremen name for Paul Atreides, the Kwisatz Haderach (i.e. the Messiah, basically) who delivered Arrakis from imperial rule in Frank Herbert's sci-fi novel Dune.
Posted by Jeff B at August 15, 2003 08:07 PM
Usul: the base of the pillar. Muad- dib "The One Who Shows the Way". Dess-loc! Desss-loc! Dess-loc! Is there no end to his names? Dare we bring A.C. Clarke into this?
Posted by Paul Gaddis at August 15, 2003 09:29 PM
He's not the Light Bringer, he's a false god who has carked his brains with neuro-logics but still not remembranced the Elder Eddas.
Posted by Malaclypse Redring at August 16, 2003 12:03 AM
So, what do you drink whem you're eating a Puppy burritos?
Jack Spaniels?
MonkeyPants
Imperial Falconer
Posted by MonkeyPants at August 16, 2003 12:49 AM
I understand they're going to offer Mr. Reynolds the presidency of UT. He couldn't possibly steal more than John Shumaker. Well maybe he could, but he would have to work at it.
Posted by Buster at August 16, 2003 12:56 AM
. . .
One Blog to Rule Them
One Blog to Find Them
One Blog to Bring Them All
And in the Darkness Bind (Link?) Them
In the Land of Mordor Where the Shadow Lies
Posted by Ratbane at August 16, 2003 01:01 AM
FINALLY!
I learned why my cat, NIKITA, has been a steady 16 lbs., nothing more, nothing less, for the last year.
Rottweiler Slurpie! :-)
When I confronted him and he told me where he got the recipe, I asked him why?
His answer:
Tastes great AND is less filling!
Posted by Sneakeasy at August 16, 2003 08:27 AM
I'm his witness.
I just happened to ride by when the interrigation took place.
Posted by The Cycling Dude at August 16, 2003 08:45 AM
Michael Jennings: Remember, though, that before the ruin of Westernesse, Sauron was able to assume a form that was pleasing to men.
Until we have proof that Glenn has been previously crushed by a continent, I think it's best to leave all possibilities open. :)
Posted by someguy at August 16, 2003 02:54 PM
Puppies for sale! Sailing puppies? We can have a demo on one of the farm ponds, unflappable and floating puppies, but not blender friendly.
This is a new item, they are 'ring free'.
Posted by quark2 at August 16, 2003 04:09 PM
Parker:
Glad to see you're spreading my "let a thousand puppies blend" meme.
Long live the Instapundit.
Posted by Tim the Michigander at August 16, 2003 11:55 PM
