She'd do well to follow this advice.

Hey Brian! I was just looking at your picture here.

I agree.

Far be it from me to challenge the all-knowing samizdata - but why should we feel sorry for a girl who has enough money to ski - but not pay her rent?

Apart from the fact that she's hot, of course, why is she different from any of your other readers?

If some bloggers want to help other bloggers, as I have elected to in a small way, then they can. If you don't want to, then feel free not to give a damn.

There is nothing more to it than that.

And of course I never need much excuse to put up a picture of a pretty lady who is also a blogger.

OMG dude! I'm actually there!

Uncanny.

Anyway, I was just teaching her how to fish is all.

Brian, that was the funniest thing I have read in a long time!

I don't think I'm going to be helping Miss Meesh out. Miss, don't ski one week, get a bus ticket and get a real job somewhere else. Problem solved. I've been the good guy too many times, helping damsels get themselves out of self-inflicted trouble. It's never worth it, guys. They go and dig themselves into the same old hole. The only person who can help this girl is herself.

Oh Perry, you are such a sucker for a pretty face. And other bits too probably.

She should go to Vancouver, great skiing, and greyhound could get her there for cheap. Hostels are also very cheap, 20 bucks a night or something like that.

And why does she say Budapest is a great place if she's in Aspen?

Budapest is nice, and it's cheaper too.

what a bunch of miserable jerks. nightmare ex-boyfriends are no joke so take your contempt and stick it where the sun does not shine. losers.

Some hard-hearted toughlove here for Emmy, but perhaps that's not such a bad thing. Anyone else ever heard of a moral hazard? I'd bet apartments in Denver are half what they are in Aspen, and they don't have lust-crazed ex-beaux as a standard feature.

Well, if all else faile the good doctor over in Owl Creek might take her in...

I hope you're not including me in your aggressive, bitter comments, Emily?

There's a craigslist in CO, right?

Hrmph,

For a LOT less than first and last month's rent (never mind the PIA of moving), it being the US and all, she could get a new, or second hand, "point & click interface", Colt, Glock, H&K, Remington etc, etc... all make perfectly adequate models.

AND you can afford to go to the range and give it a whirl for less than moving

AND you let the word get out that your're carrying

AND I'm sure some respectable person fromthe internet would be delighted to assist in familiarization. Kim and Mrs. Dutoit, for example, are full of good advice.

Even inthe unfortunate case that you have to shoot him, which is doubtful, it'd be very hard for a elected D.A. to lay any serious charges against an photogenic, educated, woman who was defending herself from an ex whose restraining order had expired.

Who needs that duing the next election, and all the freakin' feminazi's howling too.
(Assuming of course that it WAS a reasonable facisimile of self defense.)

Cheers

Unlike some of the smart alecs here I am not unsympathetic when a woman is threatened by some jerk who thinks his extra muscle mass gives him the right to get violent.

But Fred does have a point. If the son of a bitch comes around, point a 10mm at his chest and order him to stay the fuck off your property.

My only word of caution, and it is a BIG word of caution, is that if you do go that route, you must be psychologically prepared to actually honest-to-god shoot him if he keeps coming, and keep shooting until he goes down, or the reality is you are just putting yourself in mortal danger. If you are not psychological up to that, then moving is indeed the best thing to do.

Some of the people making comments here are very quick to make flip or dare I say, snide, remarks, but for a woman in the situation Meesh finds herself, it is no fucking joke. Naturally all the less than helpful comments have come from guys who will never be in that situation.

Well, Snide and Emily, to a greater or lesser degree the trouble she finds herself in is self-inflicted, and the solution is as simple as buying and being prepared to use a very straightforward piece of hardware (that is easily available in CO, I might add).

Having gotten herself into trouble, and having (apparently) declined to take the most straightforward route out of trouble, what exactly are WE supposed to do?

I, like other skeptical posters, have tried to help these damsels in distress in the past, and it has invariably come up all cockeyed because the damsel in question refuses to break the pattern, and heads right back into the situation in spite of all the good intentions of others.

The problem is not something that can just be reduced to hardware. I agree with snide that just saying 'so get a gun' is at best simplistic to the point of thoughtlessness unless the implications of that are fully understood.

The fact is most people do not have a 'combat mindset' or even realise they need one if they are going to be able to defend themselves against violence. That is something you get by training and thinking about the subject, not just by purchasing a gun (though as Jeff Cooper said, the first rule of being in a gunfight is "have a gun").

I have read nothing on her site that indicates any pattern of victimisation beyond that which anyone who gets involved with other people usually experiences (Cynical? Moi?).

Sure, Perry, I agree that just buying a gun isn't enough. The necessary training in how to use it adequately for self-defense in the home is the work of an afternoon. Proficiency in target shooting and more advanced self-defense scenarios is, of course, a lifetime study (like any martial art).

No one knows whether they have a combat mindset until they have to pull the trigger with a human in the sight picture. The odds that she will have to pull the trigger even when confronted by her abusive boyfriend are small. Brandishing may well solve the problem for her. Regardless, I believe it is the height of irresponsibility to know that you are in a threatened position (e.g., you have an abusive ex) and do nothing to prepare to defend yourself. Sure, protective orders are all well and good, but no substitute for real self-protection.

If you can't bring yourself to engage in real self-defense, then you have only one option: Run.

This, apparently, our fair damsel is preparing to do. Fine. Given her apparent resources (ski trips, etc.) it just sets off my radar that she is begging for help.

I didn't really have views one way or the other on this woman's predicament. I was just intrigued by her website mentioning Budapest as a fine place - hence my question here, since I'm in Hungary.

Then I asked her on her site, and she answered clearly and amiably that she has some software that detects where I [or any surfer] is roughly located, and adjusting the remark accordingly.

So now my question is answered.

As to the other suggestions here that she should move or obtain a firearm, I really have no fresh thought to offer. I hope things work out.

Call me snide, but I would have a very very very very great deal of trouble donating money for someone to rent a $1000/month apartment in Aspen. Here's a suggestion: sell the skis (and accessories: bindings, poles, clothing, boots, lift tickets, roof rack, "I'd rather be skiing" license plate frame, etc.) Sell the car too. Buy a bus ticket to Denver. Move into shared living quarters, and I don't mean having a private bedroom, I mean sharing the bedroom as well. The 99 Cents Only store sells 8 (eight) Cup O' Noodles for a buck. Yes, 12.5 cents per Cup. Blog from the public library.

Rather than buying a gun, said blogger could also just take the much easier and more economical step of finding a new boyfriend who already has a gun AND an apartment.

(assuming of course that working for her own goddamn money is out of the question)

it is amusing to see all these MEN making all these ASSUMPTIONS that they know jack shit about all sorts of things about this woman. you people are very quick to fill in the gaps.

Whiloe agreeing with Sarah and Emily that crazed ex-boyfriends are no joke and have been known to pursue their targets for years with often lethal results, I do feel that claiming you didn't think going out with an "ex-gangsta" would in any way be a problem is disingenuous in the extreme.

And of course she should get out of town if she can only stay there by cadging (presumably while carrying on her ski bum lifestyle).

It is amusing to see Sarah ranting about men not wanting to give some begging CHICK money to get out of the situation she is in.

I've been down-and-out, and let me tell you, a $1000/month apartment in Aspen is not down-and-out. Think of this as a character-building exercise and a source for good blogging.

Shoebox on motorway we lived in, now THAT'S down and out. But try telling the kids of today that. They'll never believe you. (A shameless adaptation of M Python's Three Yorkshiremen sketch)

Hmmm.
I guess it needs to be said that I do have a job,
a free ski pass,
wealthy parents,
plenty of options as far as rich boyfriends go.
and I freaking like it here.
No matter how bad things can get for me,
and can still find joy in the fact that
my life STILL rules way harder than yours.
and that's why I write,
and you read.
and if you don't,
then so be it.

So thanks,
it's all good now,
a little goes a long way,
sell a few pairs of shoes,
and I can eat for weeks if not months,
I'm simply resourceful is all.
Not a cold, vindictive bitch like the ex says.