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The invasion proceeds according to planSeptember 3rd, 2014 |
 24 comments to The invasion proceeds according to plan |
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I was just reading about that!
So, is this why we’ve moved up the terror alert colour chart?
Your tax pounds at work (of course)…
With at least two levels of cronyism. I’ll dispense with the usual rhetoric. I’m sure we’re all well versed in it now.
Lock your women and hide your cattle.
‘Artists’ on welfare, crap for ‘art’, who’da thunkit? Kind of what Michelangelo might’ve come up with had he been on the ‘artist’s’ dole.
Crap? Off with his head! This is pure genius! Your Hippo Overlords are coming!
Everyone is familiar with the Trojan Horse of Greek mythology. Less well known, however, is the legend surrounding a similar device of artifice used by the 8th century Magyars in their conquest of what is now termed Hungary.
Constructed of over twenty sewn hippopotamus skins, the balloon-like device was floated downriver and released so that the current would take it the remaining distance to the enemy forces. In spite of its cartoonish appearance, the device secretly held thirty fierce Magyar warriors with instructions to wait quietly until the opposing forces had found it and carried it into their enclosed fortress. Then, upon hearing the sound of their own approaching army, they were to leap out and cause confusion and loss behind enemy lines.
Sadly, the Magyars forgot that the hot afternoon sun would heat the air inside of the already-pressurized device, increasing both its size and the air pressure inside. Just as the first band of the enemy came upon the floating device, its entry-hole – a rope-ringed opening tucked under the device’s “tail” – succumbed to the rising pressure and burst open, loudly blowing out one Magyar after another while propelling the device rapidly away up-river, back to its makers.
In spite of this debacle, the confused enemy quickly lost heart and surrendered the fortress to the Magyars, reasoning that any army which could generate new fighters simply by causing flatulence amongst such huge unknown creatures could never be defeated.
The device shown in the picture, a recreation of that original invention, has been floated down various rivers throughout Europe each year since 1298 in memory of that event, as a warning that those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it. Throughout most of northern and central Europe, it’s the rare child who is unfamiliar with the terrifying story of the Hungary Hippos.
bobby b, you are a genius, I LOL’d quite a lot 🙂
If they’re going to spend public money on something, the very least they can do is make it hippo-related.
Wise man, once we have taken power your position as Energy Minister is assured, Newman. But damn that Bobby B for revealing our military secrets!
I think it’s kinda cute.
What better possible disguise than to announce the invasion as “government funded art”? This is genius at work. If it was announced as privately funded, or worse yet, a profit motivated marketing device (say nothing of an invasion by our Hippo Overlords), it would immediately be attacked and destroyed. But if the “Arts Council England” is funding it, it must be double plus good. Pure evilhippo genius.
(Hee hee!) Thanks, AKM!
It’s funny – ever since I started reading M. Simon’s earlier-offered techdocs on cancer treatments and the human endocannabinoid system, and (more specifically) since I started self-treating prophylactically, my historical insight has blossomed.
It’s playing hell with my snack supply, though.
bobby b, threadwinner – and possibly blogwinner for the year!
But what would Hippo overlords want with us? Even with Global Warming, London would be too cold for them, so why are they bothering?
More importantly, why isn’t Doctor Who saving us?
Next, we’ll see the return of Pink Floyd’s fling pig
Opposable thumbs.
HGW makes AGW seem like a mere fart, soon London will be a steaming jungle. And in the meantime, there is central heating.
He only cares about Cardiff.
Would it have been cheaper to give Dianne Abbott some water wings and a pair of flippers and say it’s the new icebucket challenge. After all we’ve seen Camoron in a wetsuit.
Sigh. Pittsburgh only got a gargantuan rubber ducky…
I’ll try again on that link…
Smithfield Street duck
Funded by the British taxpayer?
Bit like the oil companies and ISIS, then.
Well, clearly with this hippo threat, we must give more of our money to MI5 and its parasitic contractors and sign away more of our freedoms to the millitary police state.
No Pardone, only surrender can save humanity from the wrath of the Hippo Overlords!
I, for one, am happy to cooperate with our hippo overlords as long as they don’t interfere with my naps.
Naps will be MANDATORY when we take over!