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I cannot wait for the Olympics – that is because I am heading abroad

I am off to southwestern France to coincide with the London Olympics. I shall be swimming in the Med, guzzling delicious red wine and food, reading some gloriously downmarket novels, enjoying the tranquil scenery, and also, avoiding shit like this:

“There are now just 80 days to go before the start of the Great Siege of London, when the daily routines of millions of the capital’s citizens are to be subjected to military diktat. Forget the excitement of the sporting performances at the London 2012 Olympics. The Government’s decision to stage the biggest-ever peacetime display of the nation’s military firepower is set to rival anything the world’s leading athletes can offer at the various Olympic venues. In scenes reminiscent of the Blitz, a new generation of heavily armed Typhoon interceptors and anti-aircraft missile batteries will be stationed among the city’s residential districts ready to shoot down any rogue plane at a moment’s notice.”

19 comments to I cannot wait for the Olympics – that is because I am heading abroad

  • Antoine Clarke

    Not sure how this will pan out. I mean, obviously an innocent plane is going to come under fire, but will the equipment work?

  • Antoine Clarke

    I just realized, it’s going to be like the opening scenes in Team America: World Police…

  • Derek Buxton

    Or is it a practice session for when the peasants revolt?

  • Couldn’t agree more Johnathan.

    That was why I left for the far east on 23rd March and won’t return until 12th September – The week after the closing ceremony of the Paralympics.

    Although whether I will come back to a glorious ruinous mob ruled over by the BNP / UKIP coalition – who knows.

  • Dave Walker

    Happy landings, sir.

    I’m looking for a nice little project either in Britain but well away from anything Olympic (it’s not just London that’s going to come to a complete standstill, or course) or overseas, for the duration.

    Personally, I think it’s good to see precautions are being taken – although, of course, any actual incident will be an even bigger coup for its originators, as they’ll be able to claim circumvention of all this extra security. Most of the security measures won’t be disclosed, of course. The main thing I find sad is that “the Royal Navy’s largest warship” is something able to fit up the Thames.

    Remembering back to 2005 when I buried my head in my hands and said “the bloody idiots” on the news that London would be hosting the Olympics, all this continues to convince me that any country that actually bids to host the Games is out of its collective mind – I wouldn’t be surprised if the Olympics eventually ends up with the status of a UN sanction, to the effect of “we don’t like the way you’re running your country, we’re going to make you host the Olympics as punishment”…

  • Mose Jefferson

    I was going to add something to the effect that they could be a bit more explicit about who they’re worried about (Islamofascists, anyone?), but then I followed the link and couldn’t get over the similarities between the mobile Rapier missile system pictured there, and the loveable robot Wall-e from Pixar.

    So now I think I’ll go watch Up or The Incredibles or Monsters Inc and it looks like I’ve totally gotten distracted.

  • David Gillies

    With all the talk of porn-blocking filters, an idea occurs to me: wouldn’t it be a good idea if these things could be configured (simply) to block all mention of the grisly fiasco that is the Olympics? I already have AdBlock on my browsers. If a filter rules pack that killed Olympic coverage could be released, I’d install it. As it is, I am so glad I live 8,000km away from London. I find almost all sports militantly boring but the Olympics is the apotheosis, the acme, the cynosure of tedium. And Duran Duran for the opening ceremony? Really? Were Bananarama unavailable?

    By the way, back in 2005 when we received the doleful news that London had been handed the poison chalice I predicted (on this site among others) that the final cost would be £20 billion*, most of which would be paid by UK taxpayers for decades to come. How am I doing with that prediction?

    *i.e. the aircraft carriers we apparently can’t afford, along with all the planes

  • Paul Marks

    Antoine is fortunate – had the committee not been so impressed by the BS of the Mr Blair, Paris might have been ruined by these absurd games.

    That reminds me – socialists, or no socialists, I should visit Paris again.

    As for the SouthWest of France…..

    By all accounts a very nice area. A good place to stay awhile.

  • Dave Walker

    Thank you, Mr Gillies, for the perfect set-up line; if the proposed anti-porn filters were poorly tuned, they would automatically block the London 2012 logo anyway :-).

  • PersonFromPorlock

    So, they get Festung London all buttoned up and somebody does something nasty to Birmingham on opening day? Blushes all around.

  • 'Nuke' Gray

    NO! NO! Don’t go to the countryside whilst renting your house out to unknown people! Renters can be horrible- as the little hotel in Perth found out when we moved their during Sydney’s Glamfest Olympics! Oh, well, we’ll never go back there- and we did watch the games from uncrowded Perth!

  • Gerry N.

    During the Olympic fiasco in Vanc. BC some of my wife’s relatives let other relatives stay in their house on SaltSpring Island, and came down here (Seattle) to stay with us. It proved to be an excellent plan. They didn’t have to deal with the totally inept Canukistani Officialdom filled with Supremely Stupid Gauleiters and we all had fun driving aroung the Olympic Peninsula camping, touring, napping, cooking over open fires and fishing the time away. We even went to a couple of private rifle ranges, where we made lots of noise with handguns (Illegal in Canukistan, not so in WA State) and rifles as well as perforating much paper, and many pop, and adult beverage cans.

    Gerry N.

  • Gerry N.

    During the Olympic fiasco in Vanc. BC some of my wife’s relatives let other relatives stay in their house on SaltSpring Island, and came down here (Seattle) to stay with us. It proved to be an excellent plan. They didn’t have to deal with the totally inept Canukistani Officialdom filled with Supremely Stupid Gauleiters and we all had fun driving aroung the Olympic Peninsula camping, touring, napping, cooking over open fires and fishing the time away. We even went to a couple of private rifle ranges, where we made lots of noise with handguns (Illegal in Canukistan, not so in WA State) and rifles as well as perforating much paper, and many pop, and adult beverage cans.

    Gerry N.

  • Johnathan Pearce

    Nuke, who said anything about renting my flat out? Several people have asked me about this, and every time I tell them the same answer: I am not bothering. I don’t want the hassle of renting out to strangers, of having to store away my valuables (like some nice prints and bits and pieces of old family stuff). Also, if there was an accident or fire, etc, I would have no insurance cover against this.

    A close friend of mine will use the flat for a few days and keep an eye on things, but that’s about as far as it goes.

    Can’t wait to get the hell out of here for two weeks anyway.

  • Antoine Clarke

    I just wish the stupid petitions calling for London to have the Olympics were kept. Those people deserve to be served with the bill for the costs of the event.

    Might make parents a little less daft about what they let their kids sign up for and a little more alert to the brainwashing going on at school.

  • Antoine Clarke

    The cool thing for Paris is that the place where the Olympic village was going to be is being turned into some very nice private housing. So instead of being a billions of euros hole in the ground, it’s going to be productively used.

    Thank you Monsieur Blair!

  • Rational Plan

    Not on topic, but I just read this sci fi book about a future dysotopia where I’m sure many here feel we are headed.

    Ken Mcleods Intrusion.

    A world where Synth Bio (Synthetic genetics) has solved most of the worlds problems. Green Trees are sucking 10 times the amount of Co2 out of the air and bio fuels are cheap and easy, no more cancer or heart desease either. Great huh, hmm.

    The fix has been around a few years now, just one easy pill and your unborn child will have no genetic defects, no allergies, hyperactivity and very unlikey to fall ill from anything. Why would you refuse, one woman wants to.

    This world has descended into ever further nanny statism. Smoking is of course illegal (despite synth bio), alcohol almost is, pubs have to have strip lighting and music is illegal in them, there are large health warning posters on the wall. The state managed free market realises you can only really make proper choices if you had perfect information, so it encourages to make the choices you should have if you did.

    Women have ended up losing most of their freedom in the name of protecting the unborn. They can’t get served alcohol unless they can prove they are not pregnant, so now they where permanent medical rings to broadcast their health. Unless they are really rich, women don’t work if they have children as that is best.

    Meanwhile no adult would dare to be alone with a child in a room unless there are cameras present.

    The green west is at war with the dirty east in India and their carbon spewing ways, even though they protest all this synth bio is causing the planet to cool too fast.

    Also the war on terror means that the police have mobile interrogation vans to strap you in and insert needles under you nails. Don’t worry you’ll get a receipt and a number for victim support.

    It will leave you shivering at a world where we shackle ourselves because it’s good for us.

  • Paul Marks

    Gerry N. you remind me that, outside Seattle and a few other places, Washington State is actually quite a pro freedom place (it is just that after the pro freedom people votes have been counted the King County vote is announced – and it tends to be just that bit more).

    Antoine – agreed on all points.

  • There’s still time left to cancel the whole fascist smugfest. Who has the courage? Come on!