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Mrs Obama’s speech – the first draft

Comrades! – and revisionist Hillary supporting scum. Only a little joke, Hillary comrades – your support is really most welcome.

I stand before you today to tell you that Now is Our Time. The pathetic remnants of Western Civilization are ripe for destruction, and we will be the generation of revolutionaries that will finally achieve the goal of creating the new society. Outmoded institutions like private property will be swept away, and a new progressive order created.

And this will be achieved without once mentioning such words as “socialism” or “Marxism” in public. Indeed it is our very care to avoid scaring those mislead by capitalism, the ignorant who still cling to their guns and religion, that will help us achieve total victory. Ultimate power is within our grasp.

No longer we will have to pretend to be “proud of our country”, for as the Intellectual Vanguard of the Revolution our country is the whole planet.

We have the children and young people already. It is true that most children are still given such outmoded and old fashioned things as birthday and even “Christmas” presents. Few children are given the intense political education that these two children receive [at this point Comrade Speaker is to wave the two girl props], or that the Great One himself received – the three hours of political education per day that our Beloved Leader was given by his mother, the untypical white person, from his most early years.

However, such intense political education is only needed for the leaders, for the Community Organisers – for the Intellectual Vanguard of the Revolution. For the masses the level of conditioning provided by the progressive media and by the public collective schools and even some of the “private” schools, is enough. With minds clear of experience or information, the young can be taught that all problems are due to the greed of big businessmen (we need not even use word “capitalists” ) and can be solved by enlightened collective power.

It is true that we have made compromises and sacrifices, but look at things have turned out:

For example, only forty years ago our Comrade Revolutionaries were fighting on the streets with the corrupt Chicago Machine. We decided not to fight that Machine – but to cooperate with it, using our family ties to the Machine when we had them. And look at the results.

Now the machine is ours. It is our instrument – the instrument of the Revolution!

Today many of the largest corporations fund our organizations – just as Saul Alinksy predicted they one day would. But it is more than fear – the infiltration and, more importantly, the permeation of ideas (as Gramsci taught) means that many of the largest corporations are managed by people who are in whole or part in sympathy with us. The transition will be easy -for the managers of such corporations as General Electric hate the whole concept of share OWNERS already.

This is what pragmatism has given us – power, ultimate power. And soon this whole stinking Imperialist country will fall to us. And when this place falls, so will the whole world!

This is the secret of our success – our flexibility. If the “liberals” with their bourgeois humanitarianism are against the death penalty then we are against the death penalty – whilst they are useful to us.

But as soon as it is more useful to be in favour of the death penalty then we are in favour of it – indeed more in favour of it than anyone else. Indeed we truly are in favour of the death penalty, although not for the offenses the deluded reactionaries are – pause for laughter and shouts of “kill them all”.

Comrades, Comrades – we must remember Comrade Lenin’s teachings.

If it is for the good of the Revolution we should kill off nine tenths of the population of the whole Earth, but if it is for the good of the Revolution to resist our urges and kill no one at all – then that is the policy we should follow.

The only morality is the Revolution – the new society. There must be no more self indulgence in killing than in anything else.

Just as living children may be used as props to attract the votes of sentimental idiots – the kind of people who give “Christmas” presents [pause for more laughter], so they may be killed out of hand after they are born, or used for experiments [pause for laughter]- experiments the capitalists and their dupes are so weak as to be forced to fund with their taxes – pause for wild laughter.

There is no contradiction – for the only truth is the Revolution and its needs. For this end we may even set up Churches to take over the “God” nonsense.

Of course this is more than “we may” – for we already have, this is what Liberation Theology is about.

For whilst religion is the opium of capitalism – it can also be the energy of the Revolution!

When the new society is achieved, and it will be soon comrades, we will get rid of this “God” concept for the only true God is the Collective – not some mythical individual. Just as we will get rid of other things we pretend to hold in high regard, such as the “family” [wave prop children again - to wild laughter] – but till then these absurdities are of use. We will even use the idea of the pathetic Bush of capitalist taxes to subsidize religous groups – our religious groups. Indeed we have so ordered things that we get most of this money already!

Wild laughter – and shouts of “the capitalists fund the rope with which we will hang them”, other shouts of such things as “Warren Buffet and …… do this without being forced to” more laughter.

Comrades, Comrades we must not indulge ourselves even by too much talk – there is still much to do in the campaign.

So I will conclude by telling you that I think that our traditional private chant of “Death-to-America” is too narrow – too much in the spirit of narrow bourgeois nationalism and counter nationalism. Indeed it is has even been taken up by Islamic radicals, although of the more anti imperialist and useful kind, and they are even stupid enough to chant it in public.

So I propose a new chant. I was inspired by some of our more weak minded, but useful, comrades at Stamford University – with their “Hey, Hey, Ho, Ho – Western Civilization has got to go”. But I propose something that is shorter and less flippant.

[At this point the speaker leads the crowd in the new private chant].

Death-to-the-West! Death-to-the-West! Death-to-the-West! Death-to-the-West!……….

13 comments to Mrs Obama’s speech – the first draft

  • Sunfish

    Hyperbole is like garlic. In carefully-measured amounts in enhances most dishes. Overdo it, and you’ll put the diner right off of his french-fried lobster.

  • Paul, in draft two include more “change”.

    -

  • I was very impressed with Michelle last night during Rodham’s capitulation.

    She had a look of steel in her eyes that not even The Field Marshal herself had ever matched.

  • RRS

    There is a quote from Poor Richard (Franklin) to the effect:

    Now approaches the Orator with his flood of words and drop of reason

    There was once a pop lyric:

    It’s only words and words are all I have to take your heart away”

  • Paul Marks

    Sunfish.

    Sadly I did not have to make much up.

    A lot of the stuff has been said before, and the plans (infanticide, plans to ban what is left of non leftist media and non leftist education and ……) are not hard to find.

    Orwellian language is used (“Free Choice Act” for “vote our way or we smash your head in” and “Diversity” for “only allow leftist opinions”), but the meaning is not hard to find out.

    Mr and Mrs Obama may not start there public speeches with “Comrades”, but they are Marxists (in fact they would be nothing without their Marxist links). And they will use any tactic to attain power.

    Not for its own sake (like the Bill Clinton might do), but for “the cause”.

  • kentuckyliz

    I’m stockpiling canned goods.

  • Sunfish

    For non-US readers: I thought this was HILARIOUS.

    Not to comment on hyperbole or anything.

    Paul: apparently we’re going to just have to agree to disagree. I don’t think Obama has an ideology as we’d recognize it. I think he just mouths the words as a means to power. Kind of like a better-looking Grand Chancellor Palpatine, although hopefully without the power to shoot Force lightning at people.

    But I’m just going to sit here and bitterly cling to faith and guns, apparently. (Someone in the CofE has to cling to faith. Our supposed archbishop isn’t.)

    But yeah, if he gets elected I’m stockpiling clean towels and microwave popcorn. It’s going to be a long, long four years. Like something out of a Niven/Pournelle collaboration.

  • Sunfish: reading Paul’s post I also came with a strong feeling of “way over the top”. It certainly feels like hyperbole, but after thinking about it some more, I don’t think it really is, not beyond the style issue (apparently Paul was in one of those moods).

    I don’t think Obama has an ideology as we’d recognize it. I think he just mouths the words as a means to power.

    Well here’s the thing: that’s what socialism is all about (although the words mouthed are chosen carefully, and are anything but incidental). Socialism, contrary to the common wisdom, is not about helping people. It is all about power. Sure, some of this power may be directed at helping some people (the right people), but that is a means, not an end. Obama fits this perfectly.

  • Paul Marks

    Sunfish:

    Perhaps you are right about the style. Perhaps I should have tried to mimic their style – although the vague platitudes they have been trained to talk in (“hope”, “change”, “yes we can” and so on) make me want to vomit.

    However, I am correct about the substance.

    The three hours of political training per day (from his most early years) were not wasted on young Barack – both his mother and “Frank” did their job.

    His formal education just added to this.

    He was trained not just in Marxist ideology – but in the ability to make it seem reasonable. No screaming, or threats of violence, and no buzz words (especially no use of the “M. word” itself – or even socialism).

    Barack Obama then married a similar type – although not so well trained (as her “this is the first time in my adult life that I have proud of this country” comment, made more than once, showed).

    Senator Obama can even keep a straight face when faking being upset about “people questioning my patriotism” – this from a man who has a fanatical hatred of the United States and what America stands for.

    These people are not Bill Clinton – they are not just normal politicians (although Bill Clinton was an exceptionally good politician – something a lot of libertarians and conservatives simply do not understand).

    People like Senator Obama really are NOT in politics for the power or for the money, or for the big house in Washington D.C. – they really are in politics for “the cause”.

    They are Marxists.

    They are the enemy.

  • tdh

    It’s time to take America back … to the stone age.

    Si, se puede … happen here.

    Yes, we con!

  • J

    I always wondered what parody would look like after all humor and wit had been removed from it. Now I know.

  • Paul:

    People like Senator Obama really are NOT in politics for the power or for the money, or for the big house in Washington D.C. – they really are in politics for “the cause”.

    But power is an essential part of the cause. Besides, anyone who wants to be President is in it for power. Most are not for power alone, and some may even be in it for the power to make the government less powerful, but they still seek power.

  • Paul Marks

    J.

    I freely admit that I am not interested in humour and wit – I leave that to others.

    But I am not interested in parody either – I wrote out what the Obamas (and the whole Marxist part of the Chicago Machine – although it goes a lot further than Chicago) believe.

    True I did not dress up their beliefs in a lot of sweet talk – I leave that to them.

    Alisa:

    Yes I made an error. I should have said that Senator Obama does not want power for its own sake, which I sometimes think Bill Clinton did want.

    Of course this made Bill Clinton much less of a problem.

    Senator Obama does come from the Chicago Machine – but it is the new machine, not the machine of the 1960′s.

    Certainly the Chicago Machine is still corrupt – but that does not mean that their are not people of principle within it.

    As his supporters state Senator Obama is a person of principle.

    Evil principles.