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Yet another reason to love Japan

Part of the problem with modern democratic states is they have far too much time to figure out new ways to regulate and control every aspect of life. They do this in order to pander to the sectional obsessions of this or that element of the electorate, and to satisfy the pathological control freak mindset that defines most people who are attracted into politics. Japan however find much less damaging and far more interesting ways to spend legislative time.

A debate over flying saucers has kept Japanese politicians occupied for much of this week, ensnaring top officials and drawing a promise from the defense minister to send out the army if Godzilla goes on a rampage. “There are debates over what makes UFOs fly, but it would be difficult to say it’s an encroachment of air space,” Defense Minister Shigeru Ishiba told a news conference Thursday. “If Godzilla were to show up, it would be a dispatch for disaster relief.”

Oh how I wish the UK Parliament and US Congress would spend less time on implementing laws to abridge our liberties and more on how to prevent 170 foot tall radioactive fire breathing saurians from stomping on our cities and destroying our skolzandhospitalz.

Obviously the whole absurd ‘Islamic terrorists’ shtick was just a ruse to hide the terrible truth of what really happened on 9/11. After all, as so many people keep endlessly reminding us, Islam is a religion of peace, so huge Japanese monsters (no doubt under the influence of Haliburton mind control rays) are a far more plausible explanation if you think about it. Clearly this is something that should occupy legislative time from the moment our fine representatives go into session until the moment they go home at night. For pity’s sake, honourable members, do it for the children.

19 comments to Yet another reason to love Japan

  • spidly

    There must be a Dennisu Kucinicho in parliament.

  • Kevin B

    Clearly this is something that should occupy legislative time from the moment our fine representatives go into session until the moment they go home at night.

    Nice idea Perry, but, as I’m sure you know, it would be just another excuse to tax the hell out of us. How else are they going to pay for the Department of Saurian Affairs, (who would need regular trips to the Orient to ‘study the problem’), and the UFO Department.

    They already have one mythical monster destroying the world, (I refer of course to the devil’s gas), to vex us with. Think what they would do with a couple more.

  • Alice

    Well, now we know why the Japanese navy has been practising with their “Anti-Ballistic Missile” defenses. Cunning! Everyone thought they were concerned about North Korea, and here it was UFOs. The whole NorKor scam was simply to confuse the aliens listening in from the Mothership hovering above Antarctica.

  • spidly

    kevin, would that they were actually debating the effects of the devil’s gas and the demon minions (methane, CFC’s, NO, H2O, carbon tet, yadda yadda)

  • David Crawford

    This is why I fully support the full US congress (House and Senate) dropping everything and investigating, in depth, steroids in baseball. With any luck the investigation will last 2 or 3 years. Anything that keeps those tax-raising liberty-snatchers busy on something so utterly unimportant to me and mine is to be encouraged. Besides, we need to show the Japanese that anything they can do we can do better.

  • Ok de Havilland, judging from the last few posts you’ve made, you’re obviously blogging whilst sipping from a large glass of Talisker and puffing on a good cigar that may not be entirely tobacco.

    I’m not complaining, mind you. The surreal tone fits the season perfectly.

  • countingcats

    Anything that keeps those tax-raising liberty-snatchers busy on something so utterly unimportant to me and mine is to be encouraged

    David Crawford, have you forgotten – “And then . . . they came for me . . . And by that time there was no one left to speak up.”

    Consider John Donne – “John Donne, Anne Donne, undone.”

    Oh, no, sorry, that was following his divorce, what I meant to say was –
    “No man is an island, entire of itself; every man is a piece of the continent, a part of the main; if a clod be washed away by the sea, Europe is the less…any man’s death diminishes me, because I am involved in mankind…”. Substitute ‘loss of liberty’ for ‘death’ and then consider your statement.

  • Nick M

    John Donne, Anne Donne, Undone…

    … Is the reason we know how to pronounce his name.

    Best leave the 19th Elegy though (my favourite) out of it.

    O my America! my new-found-land,
    My kingdom, safeliest when with one man manned

  • countingcats

    Nick,

    Just goes to show, you can be as dirty, rutting and salacious in your writing as you wish, but if you dress it up in the glory of the English language all will be forgiven.

    thou, angel, bring’st with thee
    A heaven like Mahomet’s paradise

    A paradise remarkable in its resembelance to my concept of a high class brothel. Apparently Donne’s also.

    As liberally as to a midwife show
    Thyself

    Or in modern parlance, “gis a look love”.

    The thing is, this isn’t even romantic. If you strip away all the fine and flowery phrases all he is after is a quick shag.

  • Actually he was never divorced. The “undone’ thing is due to the fact that he was thrown in jail for marrying the woman he loved, and his father (?) disapproved of.

  • countingcats

    Actually he was never divorced.

    Hmm, you are right, I am wrong. Isn’t this interwebby thing great? Instant confirmation.

    I can now correct all my erudite Australian acquaintences here on the Gold Coast on this matter whenever it comes up down the pub.

    Snigger. Conversations will be more like “John who?”

    Any poetry receited here is more likely to start – Charlotte the harlot lay dying,

    and that will be from the educated ones.

    Merry Christmas all.

  • Nick M

    countingcats,
    Yeah, and the crap martyrs only ever get to be pianist….

  • Nick M

    Alisa,
    It also really spoked the wheel of his advancement in court. That was my understanding.

  • countingcats

    Yeah, and the crap martyrs only ever get to be pianist….

    Wot?

    I am ashamed to admit I don’t get the reference.

    :(

  • countingcats

    Nick,

    Sorry, I get it now.

    Good response.

  • Countingcats: it was “John who?” for me as well until about 5 minutes before I posted that comment. That interweb thingy is indeed marvelous:-P Oh, and I am also ashamed to admit that I don’t get Nick’s reference either…

  • countingcats

    I am also ashamed to admit that I don’t get Nick’s reference either…

    Alisa – As I understood it –

    Mahomet’s paradise – remarkable in its resembelance to my concept of a high class brothel

    Nick was carrying the cathouse analogy just that bit much further. In a house of ill repute the piano player is the lowest of the low, and doesn’t get to sample the stock (so I have heard that is. Of course I would have only hearsay knowledge of this) so also in the Islamic Paradise. The crap martyr only gets to be piano player.

    As Nick does so well – a mountain of distain packed into very few words.

  • Gee, I wonder why some in Japan might be concerned about UFOs?

    Kim Jong-Il is portrayed in the movie Team America: World Police as a villain wanting to destroy America. In the movie, he feeds United Nations weapons inspector Hans Blix to his pet sharks, sponsors a group of terrorists who bomb the Panama Canal, and attempts to assassinate world leaders at a gathering in Pyongyang. As he is killed at the end of the film, it is revealed that the fictional Kim Jong-Il is in fact an alien cockroach that retreats in his spaceship, promising to return.