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Bringing carbon offsets home

I have been following the Al Gore “carbon offset” controversy with great interest, and if I can get my eight bosses off my neck will try to put up a post on it. However, it just occurred to me that, based on the Gore methodology of buying carbon offsets, my carbon footprint is probably about to go negative.

The reason being, I should be acquiring a parcel of land in North Texas within the next few weeks. Said parcel consists of some meadows, but mostly of youngish post oaks and miscellaneous brush. Heaven, to this country boy, but it seems to me that, if Al Gore can get carbon credit for paying someone else to plant some trees, why shouldn’t I get carbon credit for actually owning well over a hundred acres of growing trees, each of them busily sequestrating carbon?

I should soon be in the rather unusual position of being able to (a) express my contempt for a certain quasi-religious crusade while (b) meeting and exceeding its requirements to be one of the Elect.

And all while driving my SUV back and forth across the Texas landscape! Is this a great planet, or what?

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14 comments to Bringing carbon offsets home

  • Nick M

    Well, I’ve got a few cacti and herbs on the windowsill and a few plants in the backyard. Can I expect a (small) cheque from the Goresiah’s bank account?

  • manuel II paleologos

    In the UK, there’s a program scheduled for Thursday at 9pm on Channel 4 called “The Great Global Warming Swindle”.

    Am awaiting it with some curiosity to see how they handle it. May be an underhand attempt to make unbelievers look like cranks, but may at last be an attempt to stimulate genuine debate (even though, of course, The Debate Is Over).

    We’ll see.

  • ‘the Gore methodology of buying carbon offsets’

    That’s a needlessly polarising way of talking about offsets. I was under the impression they made sense, economically, but even if you disagree and even if you understand them, why typify it as a ‘Gore’ method (I refuse to reuse your ‘methodology’).

    It isn’t his method, it isn’t exclusive to him, he didn’t invent offsets. Argue the toss with an economist, see how you fare.

  • Tanuki

    Buying “Carbon Offsets” is the 21st-century equivalent of buying Papal Indulgences – a salve to the consciences of the deluded for having committed an entirely fictitious sin dreamed up – rather conveniently – by the indulgence-peddlers themselves

    A “Sin of Emission”, one could say…

  • Roger Ritter

    If your new purchase would send you carbon-negative, maybe you can sell some of the excess to Al Gore? He seems to need quite a few more than most people.

  • Nick M

    Given the Gormoron’s spectacularly expanding waist-line, how many carbon offsets would you need to buy to stick the bugger in a wickerman with a clean eco-conscious.

    Oh Jesus Christ, NO!!!!!

  • D Anghelone

    You are no Al Gore. If you were you would chop and sell your trees and then sell carbon credits to replant them.

  • nic

    Well I guess this does present a readymade Libertarian-friendly solution to global warming IF EVER it was proved that carbon was the main cause.

    You would simply have trusts (probably started by philanthropists but anyone could contribute) devoted to buying up swatches of unoccupied land and planting dense fast growing forests there. It is not as if there aren’t enough nice people out there already that wouldn’t be up for doing it if it was of genuine help.

    But then the watermelons wouldn’t have their reason to tax and control.

  • No, no, don’t burn Gore in a wicker cage!

    Save the whales!

  • chuck

    It isn’t his method, it isn’t exclusive to him, he didn’t invent offsets. Argue the toss with an economist, see how you fare.

    The problem, I think, is that the offsets have no intrinsic value. The only way they can attain value is from government rationing of burning privileges, they are essentially ration cards. Hence the big push to justify government action to save the world, for nothing else would justify rationing fire.

  • And all while driving my SUV back and forth across the Texas landscape! Is this a great planet, or what?

    In Russia, the carbon offsets you.

  • Midwesterner

    spectacularly expanding waist-line

    carbon sequestration?

  • Midwesterner

    Okay. So I just looked up wickerman.

    As Emily Litella says, “Nevermind”.

  • RAB

    It is a cracking movie Mid. Have you not seen it? the original I mean.
    But apparently that wasn’t really Brit Ekland’s arse but a bum double.
    And as I’m certain that’s not her singing either, what the hell was she paid for doing?