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Bully for Fidel, terrible for Cuba

According to the great leader’s physician, Fidel Castro can live to “at least” the age of 140 years old. His proof? Castro still has the strength to go on protest marches. God help us if participation in moonbat gatherings is all it takes to guarantee more than a century of life on this planet; if you think old people are crazy these days, just wait until they’re all sporting “Not in my name” badges and spouting communist rhetoric.

Speaking of which, how long do we reckon it will it be before Fidel’s fans start trotting out this doctor’s expert opinion as further evidence — along with the country’s literacy rates and supposedly world-class, “free” healthcare — that Cuba is a great nation from which we could all learn so very much?

13 comments to Bully for Fidel, terrible for Cuba

  • If Fidel is going on protest marches (in Cuba, one assumes) then what/whom is he actually protesting about? If it’s about affairs beyond Cuba, the lack of coverage would render any march even more futile than marches generally are in the usual run of things. So is he marching to demonstrate that he can still, er, march?

  • He didn’t march, he shuffled along 800m or so.

  • Jacob

    He marched for the same reason Mao took his famous swim in the Yang-Tse river – to prove to the public he is not yet a mummy, that he is still alive.

    They usually die off a short time afterward, so it’s a good omen.

  • Tedd McHenry

    I’d say Castro’s doctor is a candidate for the Mohammed Saeed al-Sahaf (Comical Ali) award.

  • Dark Side Luke

    I’ve been to Cuba. The entire place is fed by one 200 MW oil fired generator built in Russia. The good jobs go only to veterans, there is no health care in the Western sense of the word [drugs, doctors, etc.]. There is no refrigeration even at the big hotels, the eggs and dairy products will make you vomit on your first encounter.

    On the positive side, the beaches are topless, and all the cars and motorcycles are collectors items that date from the 50′s, oh yeah, booze is really cheap. Even the 12 year old Taquillas. Yum.

  • Sooner or later, I’m sure, I’ll be found out. The word will be out that I went around via Google to the various anti-Bush weblogs, and much like a busy little bee, deposited a comment in those weblogs that allow for such.

    At one particular weblog I visited, the blogeuse was at the time in despair. Seemingly, indisputable files documenting Dumb’ya’s misgovernance grow thicker and even more nauseating daily. Nonetheless, his lead in the polls increases. Ya’know, that’s enough to blow anybody’s mind. And so, I asked myself a couple questions. What could be going on? What could be the explanation?

    Well, here’s some of the comment I left. “Nobody cares to admit that their country willfully elevated a nincompoop to head of state. And then, not too long after that, the nincompoop went on to suborn contravening the Geneva Convention.

    It’s sort’a like admitting tha’cher favorite aunt gets her jollies from ‘communing’ with alligators. Aaay, c’mon, that’s the best way I know how to phrase it … gimme a break. For all we know, the current chairman of the Federal Communications Commission checks up on your website DAILY.”

    And here’s the permissible portion of the comment I left.

    “Recently, Ted Koppel used his allotment of television time to swirl some sobriety into this country’s awareness of Iraq. As the photos of American service personnel, who had been killed in Iraq, were being displayed, Mr Koppel recited their names. As best I can, in my own small way, I’m trying to emulate the man. And so, I’d like you to consider reading the text for a “state of the union” address that I believe is imperative for this country of ours. To get to it, all you need do is click on the below enclosed U.R.L

    http://http://www.bcvoice.com/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=205(Link)

    By the way, the proprietors of the http://www.BCVoice.com website have provided a couple ways for you to leave your comments.”

  • Evidently it’s pretty great for Castro. Own your very own country with millions of slaves, and you too can have your own private doctors and hospitals, just like Castro and Kim Jong-Il.

    That lesson doesn’t do much for me–I’m just not cut out to be a plantation owner.

  • Guy Herbert

    Gosh how the Kremlinology skills are rusted!

    Surely the announcement that Comrade Fidel is going to live to 140 ought to make us think there may be a problem with his health.

    Through indirect contacts, I gather that Cuban bigwigs have been jockeying for position–for example by modestly admitting their availability as consultants to potential overseas investors in a strictly unofficial capacity–for several years already.

  • I seem to remember that on my visit to Havana you could get good quality cocaine at $10 per gram and fun-loving girls a plenty.

    I guess they were not part of the planned economy.

  • Cydonia

    Of course Castro and his clique are a brutal and stupid bunch, but if it were not for the U.S. embargo, Cuba would have stopped being communist years ago. Like all embargoes, it is a pointless and cruel policy that has made the lives of the average Cuban far worse for far longer than would have been the case without it.

    Cydonia

  • Hey, what else could you say if you were Fidel’s doctor? That he was going to croak in a few months?

    The term “second opinion” in Cuba is generally preceded by the term “after torture”.

  • DSpears

    “Of course Castro and his clique are a brutal and stupid bunch, but if it were not for the U.S. embargo, Cuba would have stopped being communist years ago. Like all embargoes, it is a pointless and cruel policy that has made the lives of the average Cuban far worse for far longer than would have been the case without it.”

    Based on what?