See you on another thread – when I can control the corpsing!

Last post on this thread, I think – and a classic from Darwin Awards to cheer you up:-

“In retrospect, lighting the match was my big mistake. But I was only trying to save the gerbil,” Eric Tomaszewski told the bemused doctors in the Severe Burns Unit of Salt Lake City Hospital. Tomaszewski and his homosexual partner, Andrew “Kiki” Farnum, had been admitted for emergency treatment after a felching session had gone seriously wrong.
“I pushed a cardboard toilet paper tube up his rectum and slipped Ragout, our gerbil, in,” he explained. “As usual, Kiki shouted out ‘Armageddon,’ my cue that he’d had reached nirvana, so to speak. I tried to retrieve Raggot but he simply would not come out, so I peered into the tube and struck a match, thinking the light might attract him.”
At a hushed press conference, a hospital spokesman desribed what happened next.

“The match ignited a pocket of intestinal methane gas in Kiki’s colon. Flames shot out the tube, ignited Mr. Tomaszewski’s hair and severely burning his face. It also set fire to the gerbil’s fur and whiskers, causing it to scurry further up Kiki’s colon, which in turn ignited a larger pocket of gas further up the intestine, propelling the rodent out of the cardboard tube like a cannonball.”

Tomaszewski suffered second degree burns and a broken nose from the impact of the gerbil, while Farnum suffered first and second degree burns to his anus and lower intestinal tract.

Sadly, Ragout the gerbil did not survive the incident.

LOL

I appreciate the avuncular wit of the reprimand; it’s true I don’t suffer Asperger’s Syndromic egghead weirdoes gladly, even though I know they can’t help it. I will try harder, as it is you that suggests it. Anyway, at my age one has to clear the phlegm occasionally; frank is my nature as well as my name. Sweetness and light may eventually come through osmosis, but I doubt it.

BTW, I needed cheering up, its been a gloomy day; particularly after reading about the antics of the Leicestershire Police in the tabloids earlier. In case you missed it, a homosexual sergeant was ‘disciplined’ for turning the police social club carsey into a ‘cottage’ and mutually masturbating with a male colleague while other colleagues photographed the action; apparently the wife of his co-wanker simultaneously gave a blowjob to another colleague in the next cubicle. Afterwards they all retired to a local hostelry for ‘afters’ and, in the ensuing punch-up, two of the party incurred broken bones while the other pub punters looked on. Puts a whole new perspective on the phrase Keepers of the Queen’s Peace, doesn’t it? It was reported that the sergeant took the CC to tribunal for sexual discrimination on the grounds that: because he was gay he was ‘disciplined’, but the participants in the blowjob were not. He lost his case and has been transferred to WEST MIDLANDS POLICE.

How’s that for cruel and unusual punishment – for WMP, that is!

It does seem to beg the question, “Why weren’t they all sacked?” Blunkett should sack the CC too – for failing to maintain the dignity of his force? In fact Blunkett should himself be sacked for presiding over the keystone cops’ pantomime that has replaced the law enforcement function in the UK.

What better example of cultural vandalism? I hate to think what they use their truncheons for these days. Someone should remake the old police radio series from the 1940s, “The Adventures of PC 49” and rename it “The Gay Adventures of PC 69”.

Ye Gods!

As for Paul, he is an anarcho-libertarian, which in its
way is quite extreme, but like all the regular Samizdata contributors and commenters (except A_t, I suppose) he is very definitely a man of the right. That’s worth remembering. Fight one’s true enemies.

Also, it’s worth remembering that on this blog you, Verity, Susan, Charles and I are the most elementally right-wing of all. Some of us are meted out particular treatment for that. It may not always be entirely undeserving. Often it is. But if we want to be heard and perhaps even taken seriously sometimes we must not deepen the divide. On the contrary, we must attempt, at least, to accord other opinions the respect that we might wish for our own.

Otherwise why are we? To get our rocks off, and lob a few at passing strangers? No, there’s more to it than that. We are the servants of ideas, some of them great ideas. Inasmuch as we are able – which is not enough – we should try to serve them well.

I’m not sure whether your deference to the pompous prick is faux, half true or real. But it’s a pity that you suggest it, even in jest, because his ‘intellectual’ vanity would demand that he believe it. He has constructed a pedestal for himself, Coulam’s Column, to look down on us mere mortals, wag his fingers when he deigns to do so and pontificate about libertarianism as if it actually means something in the way he describes it.

Both you and Verity have more innate intelligence in you little fingers, than he has in his vacuous cranium and your earthy, substantial and at times profoundly humorous prose, often conveys more in a phrase than the entire output of his ethereal, ‘erudite’ sermons, scriptures and condescending crap. Moreover I find your stuff entertaining, which is why most folks visit this site anyway, I guess.

As for Perry and his comrades: when they open a blog, I suppose it’s a bit like opening a free-house hostelry, of which I know something; I did it once, as I think I told you. If one enters into it not knowing what to expect, you damn soon find out. And though the absolute right exists to dis-invite from your fiefdom those who don’t agree with you – or offend you – if that right is exercised too freely, then you finish up as a lonely sot in you own pub, pissing the collateral down the drain. It therefore succeeds neither financially nor socially (or in the case of blog, ideologically nor politically).

So I shall continue, when I have had a bellyful of his bilge, to piss up pompous Paul’s Column until the landlords bar me. And it’s no good him trying to get round me by complimenting me on my prose: I know that all my jilted teenage granddaughters are much more literate than me – I would never dare suggest otherwise. But thankfully I never handed over my brain to the arty-farty literati of academia for laundering, so perhaps that makes me the only true Libertarian on this blog? The content of my dustbin skull is the remnants of what I gathered from real experience among real people; some wicked, some saintly and all shades in between. I didn’t steal it from the cut-price books of the shelves I was paid to stack by my employer.

What I was trying to discover from you, and you have helped me considerably, along with the virtuous Verity and several others who I am sure aren’t vain enough to demand that I track back and name them, is how society can begin the long road back from Gramscian inspired cultural vandalism by the unholy alliance of mangy minorities: which I have deduced is the wrecking process before the construction of a new communist World Order. With allies like PC on ‘our’ side I am nonetheless pessimistic. He’s about as useful as Spain in the current conflict. But your contribution has been an invaluable comfort to a jaded old erstwhile Innkeeper and Keeper of the Queen’s Peace. Thank you. And just before Perry shouts, “Time ladies and Gentlemen, pleeeease!” I would like to thank the absent Andy for opening up this conversation; it was long overdue.

Well, its a good job that Frank doesn’t rise to the bait I suppose! For a retired policeman his prose style bears a strange resemblance to that of a jilted teenage girl.

Thank you for your very kind comments above. I shall return the courtesy on this occasion and confess that in fact I agree with many of the things you say much more often than you might think. Its just that, finding agreement intellectually sterile, I only bother to chip in where I profoundly disagree with someone. Do not assume that I am coming over all soft. I have plenty of bon mots up my sleeve yet.

Paul is a guest contributor to Samizdata and a highly intelligent man. He suffers from a certain floridity of expression and an insufferable smugness, it’s true. But whether that’s because he’s just very highly strung or the victim of exquisitely fine sentiments or a troll I haven’t yet made up my mind. Only he knows the answer to that one. In any event, he has a licence to be high-handed with and insulting to us beer hall types in ways to which we would never stoop. I regularly get a lambasting. Charles, too. There’s nothing to be done about it except to bear it in good grace and continue engaging in debate whomsoever else we will – whilst Perry extends us the courtesy.

Paul,

I’m not claiming Dr Gabb as some kind of philosophical soulmate, for heavens sake. I believe I am treating him with respect and circumspection. Nonetheless his writings on Cultural Marxism are, in my opinion, the equal of John Fonte’s, which is saying something. I am sure he is happy to be taken at his word and, indeed, writes with that express intention.

The low rent rot I continually write on this subject was engendered by a comment from Terry Eagleton during another moment of smugness back in the early 1980′s. I went to the trouble of discovering what he meant. Now I see it as all there is to the left today, unless you count old Labour redistribution and the pursuit of human rights abroad. So, yes, I take Eagleton at his word, too. Not to do so would be grievous complacency.

I never rise to bait myself – much too wary. But excuse me while I let off a few bubbles around your bait. Your rather pompous “I had dinner with the focus of your admiration and his dear lady wife and he would be appalled that he had attracted such cretins” is typical pseudo-intellectual blustering and I hope will be addressed by my more educated and refined correspondents on this blog, if they wish.

I’m afraid that if I were to take your arrogance apart, it would be with somewhat more primitive epithets, and this has been a well behaved blog since I have been visiting it. I am grateful to Sean Gabb ( your dear friend) for drawing my attention to the Gramscian doctrine. As for the rest of his many opinions on life in his voluminous writings I have ploughed through as much if it as I can, commensurate with the life I estimate I may have left. Some of what he asserts is good stuff. The extreme libertarian guff is a hobby of his obviously and I doubt he believes much of it himself, given his intellect which must have a pragmatic component. He is forthright, honest and it is a great pity that his ideas have not been allowed more exposure in the public forum of debate, to be tested. But I think even you would agree with us about the reasons for his curtailment.

I noticed that you failed to mention your wife attending the dinner party, though you managed to mention his. Hmmm.

As for my ‘low rent’ buddy, Guessedworker, we sometimes disagree, too, but never through the medium of snotty snobbery. I admire him for that. If you think that working in a cut price book store with, no doubt, a queer customer base (is it a cruising venue?) that may read this blog (and therefore provoke you into defence of their ilk), puts you in an intellectual class above a hairy-arsed pensioner from the Old Bill who ‘has just learned to type’ that’s your prerogative and I don’t complain. But please don’t insult my blogpals on a personal basis, you little pile of excrement. Anyway why aren’t you putting the books back on the shelves and whatever mundane tasks you are paid for by Messrs. Dillon, rather than, in their time, typing out ad hominem observations about you ‘inferiors’ no doubt on their fuckin’ equipment.

Libertarian my arse. You are just another liberty taker.

I am pleased to be able to say that I know Dr. Gabb quite well. Indeed I have had the immense pleasure of entertaining him and his lovely wife to dinner in my house and have been delighted to accept similar inivtations from Dr. and Mrs Gabb. Consequently I have been able to discuss these very issues with Dr. Gabb at some length and I can report the we are in broad agreement with each other on most matters. Dr. Gabb thinks that the whole idea that the conservative party should formulate policies about private sexual behaviour is ridiculous. Indeed he is far more socially liberal than I on many issues. You have been carried away by Dr. Gabb’s rhetoric into supposing that he shares your authoritarian tendencies. He does not – you should read his writings with a greater degree of care, you might look at Free Life commentry 76.

Certainly there are issues where Dr. Gabb and I disagree, I think his description of the Enemy Class, though perhaps containing some truth, is much too overblown to be useful. If you really take these issues seriously, as you allege, then I can only suggest that you try harder not to make such a fool of yourself but continually writing such consistently low rent rot.

Frank P,

The mere fact that you can manage to stop masturbating and sucking your thumb long enough to type things into a computer is no indication that the things you write are anything other than the most absurd and disgusting childish sexual fanatasies.

There should always be room for some immigrants, and sometimes a large chunk at a time as circumstances warrant. For example, the Jews after WWII had all to be taken in at the same time for obvious reasons; as did the Indians from Uganda. These two groups of people were hell bent on fitting in and they have enhanced our society.

No one has ever explained how having our traditions destroyed and our country overrun with the primitives which trailed in from Pakistan in the cause of multiculti would enrich the lives of the indigenes of Britain. What is astounding is, no one called them on it. The native British allowed themselves to be browbeaten in lieu of having epithets like the risible “Little Englander” thrown at them. Did any such ever exist? Is there anyone in Britain today who hasn’t holidayed at least two or three times abroad? Same goes for xenophobe.

No one asked how having notices pinned up in town halls in Urdu and Arabic benefitted Britain, nor how giving them free council housing and free medical care benefitted Britain.

But the real avalanche began at the behest of Tony Blair/Peter Mandelson and there was evil intent behind it – the dissolution of the British character and sense of mutuality and community. And elevating the interests of the non-English speaking Stone Agers above those of Britain and the British. It is astounding how powerful four words have been in this entire episode: racist, little Englander, xenophobe.

You say all mankind might keep coming even if we have Closed signs up at the borders. Not if there was no asylum and all those caught were immediately put on the next plane back.

My point is that we have to recognise the evil that has been done, acknowledge that it was intentional destruction, and set about rectifying it. Not living with it. Fixing it.

I wondered when the bait would get a nibble; if that the best I can manage, please note that I always throw the tiddlers back in, making sure I don’t tear their lips, lest it should grow into bigger buggers and be worth devouring eventually. I’m done with the Gay Mafia for now – we have other fish to fry as you would have noticed had you read the posts before the pink mist descended over your eyes and you reacted accordingly. I never join in rumours, BTW, only report on facts. But then empirical experience never satisfies idealogues who want the world to be as they imagine it rather than the way it is. Stand by for flock of pink Flamingos, folks! The alarm bells have been sounded. Enemy on the Samizdata blog! We’ll have David Bruno from Brussels on line any minute now. Gerroff! Paul, or I’ll set Reuben the Rottweiler on to you.