Do you love red squirrels? I love red squirrels. They are very red and they are very squirrely. I love them. There are also some ecologists in England who love them too, almost as much as I do. They just love those big fluffy red tails.
They love them so much they hate anything which may come to lessen their numbers. They particularly hate grey squirrels, with a determined pathological intensity. They hate them so much, that they find great pleasure in killing them, wherever they can find them. Fine action for beardy ecologists, you may think, wiping out one species with murderous fury, to preserve another specially blessed one. But in this case, it’s OK, because the grey squirrels deserve it. Check out the Redsquirrel.org.uk home page, to find out why. Notice the lead phrase:
Sadly, thanks to the invasion of its grey cousin introduced from America, RED SQUIRRELS have been driven out from much of their territory
Invasion. America. Their territory. Then check this Grey Squirrel Control page, which describes how you can easily kill grey squirrels, while avoiding killing anything else:
To achieve this [survival] it is necessary to enhance the competitive ability of the native red squirrel in relation to the introduced American grey squirrel. Historical evidence shows that generally when both occur together the grey squirrel out-competes the red and eventually replaces it…Grey squirrel control is targeted to areas where reds and greys are competing for resources. It helps red squirrels by reducing the density of greys and hence reducing competition, and by halting the further spread of greys into red-only areas.
American. Out-competes. Reducing competition. Red-only areas.
It seems the anti-capitalistic mentality is alive and well, and living in Northern England, where it slaughters poor little squirrels because their great-great-great-great-great-great-grandparents were American. These dangerous rodents are also irresponsibly over-competitive, as well as failing to be red. What greater crimes could there possibly be? Re-settlement is too good for them. Annihilation is the only option. If you want genocidal bloodthirstiness, look no further than this:
If only a small proportion of the population is removed, there is a risk that remaining [grey] animals will become stronger and fitter as a result. Shooting can, however, be useful when greys first start to appear at a site. Luring the animals to a baiting station where a clear shot can be taken is a useful technique.
Charming. Let’s hope the same approach is never taken to rogue libertarians.
It’s also a good job red squirrels aren’t being out-competed by badgers. You’d have bearded eco-warriors from all over the country going out with shovels and pit-bull terriers trying to wipe badgers out, too. Oh, sorry. Being ‘European’ immigrants instead, I’m sure the badgers are safe. For the moment. Let nobody reveal that badgers were actually imported from North America by the Vikings, 800 years ago, or it will be curtains for those nasty black and white interlopers.
Did I just make that last bit up? Probably. I should be taken out and shot.