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We’re Brians and we’re proud

Today I received the following email:

Brian,

Brian has started a webring of Brians with blogs. If you would like to join us, go and sign up here.

Brian

What is a webring? If I signed up to it, would the rest of my life be ruined? The Brian who sent me this email seems to be gay. Not that there’s anything wrong with that, consenting adults, some of my best friends…, I’m personally in favour of gay marriage, blah blah blah. But if I sign up, will I be bombarded with gay porn for the rest of my days?

In general, I feel that it is good that we Brians are getting together, and if a webring is what I think it may be, we can perhaps sit on one, in a circle, perhaps somewhere in the countryside, and discuss the Brian Issue. That is, we can discuss why cuckolded husbands, send-up substitutes for Jesus Christ, etc. etc., in the movies, all seem to be called Brian. Brian is not a cool name, is my point. Maybe we Brians can get together and change that. (The danger, of course, is that by getting together in such ways as these, we might merely confirm all the existing anti-Brian stereotypes, and cause Brianphobia to become even more deeply entrenched.)

Meanwhile, how many indisputably cool Brians can be assembled? I offer two outstanding contemporary sportsman: the West Indian cricket captain and ace batsman Brian Lara, and the Irish rugby captain and ace centre threequarter Brian O’Driscoll.

19 comments to We’re Brians and we’re proud

  • Does it include women called ‘Brian’?

  • Brian Micklethwait

    Yes, bring ‘em on.

    Do you know any lady Brians, David?

  • Brian Micklethwait

    Although come to think of it, I have no official position in Brian Ring, so I guess it’s not for me to say.

  • Vic

    Hmm… Let’s see…

    Well, there’s Brian Mulroney, skater Brian Boitano, and our Lord and Saviour Brian.

    …And then there’s Pinky and the Brian … oops… my bad… :)

    -Vic

  • T. Hartin

    “The Brian who sent me this email seems to be gay.”

    Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

    (Sorry to the non-Americans out there, but the chance to drop a classic line from the Seinfeld sitcom (and exactly in context, too!) was too good to pass up.)

  • You’ve got a way’s to go before you catch up to the Kevins. I would say you may have a chace though…

  • Brians have suffered shocking discrimination and and social injustice for far too long. It is only right that Brians group together now to share their Brianist experiences and to find their voice. Progressive Brians everywhere must lead in making Brianism socially unacceptable. Non-Brians must be confronted and shamed. Their language and their very thought process must be changed. The debilitating and controlling assumptions of the non-Brian hegemon must be challenged at every step. Brians must cease to accept its values and the position it assigns to them. One day we shall see a better society, a better life in which all Brians and non-Brians are together, side by side in harmony. Then we can start on Kevins and Waynes.

  • Joe

    Maybe its really a webring for the dyslexic bloggers of MENSA ;)

  • One post with SIX categories???? That must be a record!

  • What about the bloke who won Big Brother 2? Was he indisputably cool?

    Mind you, he was, and presumably still is, indisputably gay, so he’s probably in the ring. He might even have sent you the email.

  • I always kind of liked the chirpy snail in The Magic Roundabout. He was my defining Brian.

    Sorry.

  • David Hall

    Our Brian; “he’s not the messiah, he’s a very naughty boy”

    Sorry.

  • Eamon Brennan

    What about Brian the Lions?

    Eamon

  • Ted Schuerzinger

    Brian Micklethwait wrote:
    ‘m personally in favour of gay marriage, blah blah blah. But if I sign up, will I be bombarded with gay porn for the rest of my days?

    You mean you’re not currently being bombarded with gay porn? Please tell us your secret! ;-)

    (Since I last dumped my proxy-server’s kill-logs on 8 May, I’ve gotten 200 messages containing the word ‘penis’, mostly for various ‘enlargement’ schemes. This doesn’t include the spams that were killed because they crashed on ‘viagra’, and doesn’t include messages that made it through all my filters!)

  • Any non-Brians out there finding this as disturbing as I am? One or two Brians in the same place or a bigger collection over a wider area is ok, BUT A WHOLE DAMN RING OF THEM! IN ONE PLACE! ARE YOU MAD!

    Something needs to be done about this and I know a nice bunch of people who may soon be looking to branch out to a new quarry.

    Can you run Brian? Can you?

  • Edmund Burke

    All this talk about Brian is ok, but have they weleased Wodewick yet.

  • Guy Herbery

    Would Bryans and Briens be allowed?

    From the TV at the gym (spot proleptic contextualisation), the Big-Brother-winning Brian now presents one of those Saturday morning ragbag kids shows. Which strikes me as a heartening example of tolerance in modern society. No Daily Mail headlines about Brians corrupting our children.

  • Mervyn

    I think if I was called Brian I’d change my name.

  • excuse me for asking, but what exactly is this? a sorority in college or something? brians? it sounds like a club consisting of three fourth graders who consider it a phenomenon that they all have the same name. but i must say, for the last few hours I have been collecting information on Brian Mulroney for a project. (a brian you should not be proud of) This IS the most amusing site I’ve come across all day. cheers.