I came across this little comment on man’s foibles in the middle of the chaos known collectively as “the holidays”. At the time I couldn’t do more than check the validity of the article which, I’m sorry to say, was accurate. While the date would now classify it blogospherically speaking as an archeological anecdote, I felt the issue it addresses is still poignant.
This article appeared in a local US newspaper on Nov. 15, 2002 but it’s importance may well be global.
Absolutely the Least Substantial Reason for a Knife Fight:
Police in Mansfield Township and Hackettstown, N.J., charged Emmanuel Nieves, 23, with aggravated assault on Nov. 13 after he allegedly slashed the face of his friend Erik Saporito, 21, as the two men fought after arguing over which one had more hair on his buttocks. [Express-Times (Easton, Pa.), 11-15-02]
As with any criminal act, there is something we as a society can learn. The lesson here is obvious: the bruised male ego can be a violent thing.
The more tickilish question, and the one we must answer if we are to prevent future attacks of this kind, is what finally triggered the assault? Was it ridicule (ha ha. your butt’s hairer than mi-ine!) or was it envy (my butt’s hairer than yours! nah na nahna na.)?
Its a sensitive issue.
I couldn’t disagree more completely: focusing attention on the “final trigger” of this specific incident will get us nowhere. On the contrary, prevention of future such attacks requires that the root causes of the dispute be identified and addressed. In particular, is it necessary in the Third Millennium that the number of hair follicles on a man’s buttocks should remain an accident of birth rather than a matter of elective self-determination? Obviously, there has been insufficient funding available for research that would yield an effective means for a man and his doctor to exercise control over this highly personal yet socially critical aspect of his life. I blame the Bush Administration.
And how do you think the Prez is going to feel, being the butt of your joke? We need Equality of Riducule! Mr Bush has collected more than his Fair Share. There should be a law against it. Or at least a redistributive Ridicule US tax.
While we’re at it, knives obviously kill people. They should be banned, or at least registered. I don’t feel safe on the streets with all those people who might have knives out to kill me. You may say “knives are tools” or “knives don’t kill people, people do,” but the fact remains that if there were no knives, we wouldn’t have knife violence…
Were they arguing over whether the other man had more hair or less?
The mind boggles.